To not feel bad about not liking her?

[Serena92]

I’m 28 and have a group of close friends (there’s about 8 of us) who have been friends for around 10 years since meeting in college. We go on holidays together, I spent last Xmas with a few of them and we all get on really well. About a year ago one of my friends started bringing along a woman she works with.
I consider myself a nice person but I absolutely cannot stand this new woman even though I have tried my best to. Obviously I would never say anything to her face and haven’t said anything to my other friends but I really just can’t get on with her. She’s 10 years older than me and we have absolutely nothing in common but like I said I’m polite to her when we’re together. Today she sent a group message saying that now lock down is easing she can’t wait to meet up with everyone again but honestly the thought just filled me with dread.
The other day I mentioned the situation to my mum and she said with all the be kind stuff going on at the moment I should make more of an effort with her and not be so horrible.
So I guess my aibu is does being kind mean you have to like everyone, Surely everyone has people in their life that they don’t like?

@TitianaTitsling, not at all. It’s a close-knit, long-established friendship group who go on holiday and have Christmases together, to which one member started bringing along a colleague a year ago. Very normal, as @OrchidJewel says, for members of the original group to not want to expand to include someone at least one member dislikes, and as @silvermantella says, even if the others don’t mind the newcomer personally, they’re liable to prioritise their old friend’s company over someone they know far less well.

But do the whole group feel like this the 'you can't sit with us' or just the op? Maybe the rest of the group like her?

how did she bring her along the firs ttime just said heres barbara she wants to come out with us or what

you dont change the whole dynamic of a group who met at uni like that

Give her advice OP every single time you see her and before she even opens her trap...start with "ooh, you want to wear your belt a little higher up.....have you tried dark brown mascara instead of black...." etc. - presuming she's coming across as condescending ? beat her to it.

@Dougalthesyrianhamster are you the add on friend??

OP are you the only one with kids? Does she have kids?

As she is oldeer than the others she could feel as though she is the matriarch and has chosen you as her pupil. I would suggest saying 'ohh, you sound just like my mum' you could add ' she's always trying to give me weird/daft/silly advice'

@hadtojoin I agree. And OP you could also use the word patronise

Every time she offers you advice say “Thanks Grandma!” And roll your eyes.

I know you can’t do that but you can think about doing it each time and laugh!

My sister in-law patronisez me and constantly gives me advice on my children, careers, it gets too much for me. Unfortunately op I tried making a joke of it, I've had it written across my face that I'm not impressed and even point blank said 'why are we talking about my kids? I don't need help.' It doesn't stop.

Some people just think their being helpful and can't see that their overstepping. Completely oblivious.

Don't get me wrong I really like my sil but it's every time I see her.

I don't think there's much you can do, I wouldn't talk to your other friends about this because it could look a bit bitchy, if it gets really unbearable I think you'll just have to pull her aside privately and tell her how she makes you feel.