To not feel bad about not liking her?

[Serena92]

I’m 28 and have a group of close friends (there’s about 8 of us) who have been friends for around 10 years since meeting in college. We go on holidays together, I spent last Xmas with a few of them and we all get on really well. About a year ago one of my friends started bringing along a woman she works with.
I consider myself a nice person but I absolutely cannot stand this new woman even though I have tried my best to. Obviously I would never say anything to her face and haven’t said anything to my other friends but I really just can’t get on with her. She’s 10 years older than me and we have absolutely nothing in common but like I said I’m polite to her when we’re together. Today she sent a group message saying that now lock down is easing she can’t wait to meet up with everyone again but honestly the thought just filled me with dread.
The other day I mentioned the situation to my mum and she said with all the be kind stuff going on at the moment I should make more of an effort with her and not be so horrible.
So I guess my aibu is does being kind mean you have to like everyone, Surely everyone has people in their life that they don’t like?

[Limpid]

@TitianaTitsling, not at all. It’s a close-knit, long-established friendship group who go on holiday and have Christmases together, to which one member started bringing along a colleague a year ago. Very normal, as @OrchidJewel says, for members of the original group to not want to expand to include someone at least one member dislikes, and as @silvermantella says, even if the others don’t mind the newcomer personally, they’re liable to prioritise their old friend’s company over someone they know far less well.

[TitianaTitsling]

But do the whole group feel like this the 'you can't sit with us' or just the op? Maybe the rest of the group like her?

[GabsAlot]

how did she bring her along the firs ttime just said heres barbara she wants to come out with us or what

you dont change the whole dynamic of a group who met at uni like that

[VenusTiger]

Give her advice OP every single time you see her and before she even opens her trap...start with "ooh, you want to wear your belt a little higher up.....have you tried dark brown mascara instead of black...." etc. - presuming she's coming across as condescending ? beat her to it.

[SleepingStandingUp]

@Dougalthesyrianhamster are you the add on friend??

OP are you the only one with kids? Does she have kids?

[hadtojoin]

As she is oldeer than the others she could feel as though she is the matriarch and has chosen you as her pupil. I would suggest saying 'ohh, you sound just like my mum' you could add ' she's always trying to give me weird/daft/silly advice'

[Monty27]

@hadtojoin I agree. And OP you could also use the word patronise

[HannaYeah]

Every time she offers you advice say “Thanks Grandma!” And roll your eyes.

I know you can’t do that but you can think about doing it each time and laugh!

[StressedMom4]

My sister in-law patronisez me and constantly gives me advice on my children, careers, it gets too much for me. Unfortunately op I tried making a joke of it, I've had it written across my face that I'm not impressed and even point blank said 'why are we talking about my kids? I don't need help.' It doesn't stop.

Some people just think their being helpful and can't see that their overstepping. Completely oblivious.

Don't get me wrong I really like my sil but it's every time I see her.

I don't think there's much you can do, I wouldn't talk to your other friends about this because it could look a bit bitchy, if it gets really unbearable I think you'll just have to pull her aside privately and tell her how she makes you feel.