To go get the MAP tomorrow?

[PurpleMackington]

Name changed but regular poster. Mostly posting here for traffic.

I've been having casual sex with someone for a couple of weeks. Without giving too many unnecessary details away, due to circumstances it has always been in his car with him behind me. We had discussed condom use beforehand and he has always used one.

This morning we were actually able to meet at his for a little bit. I was certain that I witnessed him putting a condom on (although I admit I was otherwise distracted). Shortly before he finished, he reached over to his bedside table to grab one and put it on. At this point I realised that he had actually initially put on a cock ring.

I'm gunna go get an STI test obviously, but I was just discussing this with a friend about getting the morning after pill and she said I was being a drama queen and that it isn't necessary. I know the likelihood of pregnancy is slim but I'm ovulating and surely this is the sensible thing to do?!

[Llamazoom]

It all sounds seedy, get rid of him, get an sti test and raise the bar unless you enjoy being treated like shit.

[PicsInRed]

Stealthing is rape.

Dump him, then STI check and MAP asap.

💐

[GnomeOrMistAndIceGuy]

Casual sex at this time. I'd be far more worried about Covid than a baby.
The actual stupidest comment I have ever seen on MN.

[IncrediblySadToo]

@PurpleMackington

Casual sex at this time. I'd be far more worried about Covid than a baby.
Surprised it took so long for someone to come up with this.

I'm not, half the bloody country seem to (idiotically) think it no longer exists.

[IncrediblySadToo]

@CluelessBaker

Casual sex at this time. I'd be far more worried about Covid than a baby.

You are bad at assessing risk.

No, I'm not.

I didn't say the chance was the same for both, I said the risk of COVID would worry me more.

A baby wouldn't overly phase me.

Getting Covid would.

So I know which I would be more worried about.

[BendyLikeBeckham]

the coil can be used if that is the case

[GracieLane]

You might be too late to take the MAP if you are already ovulating

[Dollywilde]

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Non-consensual_condom_removal

[MayDayHelp]

The MAP is only effective if taken before ovulation. During or post ovulation it doesn’t work

[BendyLikeBeckham]

@Lucy40ishere me too!!! It's only with hindsight that I look back and see what really happened, and then I'm But at least I had the self respect to not go back to the same guy if he was a dick/selfish/boundary ignoring.

Its horrific what women put up with, shrug it off and get on with their lives.

[BendyLikeBeckham]

OP, did you consent to sex without a condom?

You know what that means, right?

Bin this guy, there are plenty more who will not violate you out there.

[Lucy40ishere]

@BendyLikeBeckham
I had a period after the end a long term relationship of doing the whole Tinder casual sex thing. I’m only now realising that some of the encounters were a bit problematic. So that series & episode really resonated with me!

[BendyLikeBeckham]

@Lucy40ishere

OP I suggest watching the BBC drama I May Destroy You where a man removes a condom without telling the woman & she later realises it’s a form of assault. It’s not ok for him to do this whether you were distracted or otherwise. But totally up to you if you want to carry on seeing him.

I was going to post exactly this

[WaffleCash]

He was using a condom before he 'came'. Unless they discussed exactly when he put it on, Its a misunderstanding, not abuse.

It was only from mumsnet that I realised that some people consider only putting a condom on at the last second as 'using a condom'. It made all the "I got accidentally pregnant despite using contraception scenarios make a lot more sense."

[CluelessBaker]

Casual sex at this time. I'd be far more worried about Covid than a baby.

You are bad at assessing risk.

[CluelessBaker]

Agree you should get the MAP.

Also agree you absolutely shouldn’t be sleeping with this guy again. He trampled over a boundary you had discussed and put you at risk as a result. It is assault, and while you may not view it that way it is certainly a clear indication that he doesn’t respect you or care about you. You deserve so much more than this. A good man would never behave this way.

[GinDaddyRedux]

@IncrediblySadToo

I disagree I'm afraid. It sounds like wilful "misunderstanding" on the part of the OP's sex partner.

It's a power and control thing I think. Remove the condom, or don't put it on at all or whatever, but anything to dominate as part of a power play.

Fine if everyone is consenting, but that doesn't seem to be the thrust (excuse the pun) of the OP's post

[PurpleMackington]

Casual sex at this time. I'd be far more worried about Covid than a baby.
Surprised it took so long for someone to come up with this.

[Lucy40ishere]

OP I suggest watching the BBC drama I May Destroy You where a man removes a condom without telling the woman & she later realises it’s a form of assault. It’s not ok for him to do this whether you were distracted or otherwise. But totally up to you if you want to carry on seeing him.

[trixiebelden77]

I wouldn’t be seeing him again. You agreed on condoms and he tricked you.

If you consented to sex only with a condom and he tricked you, then you didn’t consent.

Find someone better.

[IncrediblySadToo]

@EmperorCovidula

It’s assault to not use a condom when you’ve had that discussion. Of course you should get the MAP and also a pregnancy test incase this isn’t the first time. Sorry this has happened to you, ignore your friend

He was using a condom before he 'came'. Unless they discussed exactly when he put it on, Its a misunderstanding, not abuse.

Casual sex at this time. I'd be far more worried about Covid than a baby.

[ShandlersWig]

Do you really want to to sleep with him again?
Unless he's incredibly ill informed, everyone knows you can get pregnant just by penetration, not just ejaculation.

How many times has he done this before? Remember, this is the first time youve noticed

And agree, if condoms were discussed in advance, this is assault.

[CandlesBlanketsandTea]

OP this isn't your fault, it's his fault. The power dynamics in this relationship are completely off. Are you scared of him? I'm just trying to work out why you didn't ask him to put a condom on when you saw him putting a cock ring on. He's a twat and you deserve so much better.

[CandlesBlanketsandTea]

@sadie9 it's not just about being pregnant it's also STDs. They both agreed to use condoms and he broke that agreement.

[Royalbloo]

I agree this is assault