That it is too early to be guilt tripped about Christmas?

[Dangertime]

Just that. I've divorced parents (both happily remarried, split 25 years ago). I'm married with a DS. This year is DS first xmas. I'm annoyed to already be asked about xmas plans and guilt tripped that its my DFs "turn".

I dont want to do turns. I want to do what makes sense every year. This year it makes sense to go to my DM and also see DHs family who live nearby. Shouldnt require guilt trip... 6 months out??

[Sn0tnose]

Never too early for Christmas plans, it’s the one thing getting me through this year!

Can you send an email to both parents along the lines of ‘both of you have had your ‘turns’ over the years so, now that DS is here, we’ve decided that this year is going to be our turn. And, just to give you fair waning, every year after that is likely to be our turn as well. This year, we’re going to see DH’s grandparents. Do let us know whether you’re free to meet up over the holiday and we can sort out a date that is convenient for all.’

[NiceLegsShameAboutTheFace]

FFS. It's June. There's a heatwave on the way later in the week. Tell 'em all to bugger off until November and have a think about it then

[welcometohell]

Do not, under any circumstances, agree to "alternate'". DH and I made that mistake many years ago and it was incredibly difficult to extricate ourselves from the arrangement. We did it purely to keep the peace, but it got ridiculous. It meant we could never have Christmas in our own home for a start. It also meant that no one gave a shit about what was convenient for us or what was going on in our lives at that time, they only cared about their 'turn' and there was no room for flexibility or common sense.

[domesticslattern]

No no no.
You are a little family now, in your own right. Stay at home on xmas day itself and have visitors only if you want. No traipsing round. Plenty of time to see everyone over the holiday period.
Do it now or, as others say, you will be stuck in some tiresome guilt-tripping rubbish-for-your-DC arrangement until your kids leave home.

[WinterAndRoughWeather]

My partner and I do Christmas on our own most years anyway, despite not having children. All that schlepping about for a sodding roast dinner when it’s our time off work? No thanks.


PS Humbug.

[Fatted]

I'm another one adding to stay home now you have kids. It's a bloody nightmare trying to drag babies and small children here there and every where on Xmas day. Do yourself a favour and set the president now. You're not visiting anyone.

[Vivi0]

Anyone mentioning Christmas to me in June would be blocked and ignored

😂😂

Like many posters have said, when our son was born, we began celebrating Christmas at home as a family. I am not prepared to remove my child from his home on Christmas Day, leaving his eagerly awaited for toys, to “take turns” at other people’s homes for the sake of the adults.

Christmas is for children. And the magic only exists for such a short time.

If you are feeling generous, you can host. If not, that’s what the holidays are for!

[Splattherat]

Once we had DC we stopped all that.

IL’s nice enough but had very tiny house, not really enough seating, bed space or bathrooms and lived 3 hours drive away. They wanted to stay in their own house and didn’t want to visit us so adult daughter living locally with unhealthy relationship could visit them. My parents live 5 mins drive away but mum didn’t want us there and never accepted an invite to come to us on christmas day.

We did a present drop weekend with IL’s early/mid Dec and saw my parents a few days beforehand.

As the DC’s grew up it was so lovely to relax at home in plenty of space, waking up in own bed, pleasing ourselves, doing our own thing/things, when we fancied and not having a 3 hour drive in bad weather when quite often one or more of us quite often had a cold and were feeing out of sorts.