On the brink of breaking lockdown - what would you do

[MyNameForToday1980]

We've stuck by rules of lockdown to the letter. As have my parents.

DM and DDad are keen to visit tomorrow.

DM has been shielding (she's on the list). They're desperate to see DS. DM has been asking for several weeks to visit, I've said no; partly to do our civic duty, partly to protect her.

There is a good chance that this is the safest possible time for them to visit as DS returns to nursery next week when our lockdown bubble will be broken.

We've been working form home with DS(3) since the week before lockdown officially started. DS hasn't even been in a shop since the start, DH and I have each been to the shops twice in the however-many-weeks it is now. Literally no other contact with people.

We WOULD NOT be socially distancing in the garden (not big enough) but we are not a particularly physically close/huggy family.

I know it's breaking the rules. And until yesterday I wouldn't even have considered it.

But it dawned on me, if we don't do it now, DM and DDad might not be able to visit until there's a vaccine, and there's a fair chance DM won't make it that long (not terminally ill, but long term immuno compromised with underlying conditions).

WWYD.

YABU - don't do it
YANBU - do it, take reasonable precautions

[greenlynx]

I think you could do it. It’s the safest time now, before your DS back at nursery. Our neighbours had grandparents visiting today, I suspect for the same reasons. It didn’t occur to me to judge or call police. A lot of people are going back to work/ to school on Monday so want to see relatives and friends before that.
I also think that you will be ok inside if you were staying at home last 7 days and didn’t go shopping. I would give you Mum separate cutlery/cup and make sure that she is not touching anything newish in your house e.g food packaging, magazines.
There is an article on BBC about social distancing rules and it says that it’s ok to let a small child hug your leg as it’s difficult to stay away from them anyway.

[itchyfinger]

OP was in exactly your position, and I met up with my shielding parents. Much safer now than it will be once at nursery.

[laudete]

If you really think this could be the last time you/your child sees your mom before she dies, I'd go with it's her risk to take and her choice to make. Your parents have been shielding so they don't pose a risk to you. You and your husband have been outside so your household poses a risk to them. You can't buy memories; they're all we have left when the last days end. Your mom is old enough to know what matters the most to her - and I think it's time with you. x

[Bakedbrie]

Doesn’t matter what stupid government says - infection and death rate sadly still too high....given her condition< I’d hold off just until rates drop off.

[Lipz]

Look if your mother isn't too worried about her ill health and the possibility of contracting covid and the rest of you are healthy and wouldn't feel guilty if she did get it, then go for it.

[whywhywhy6]

Yep I’d do it and free once the kids are socialising with other kids you should keep distance from them again.

[whywhywhy6]

Agree, not free

[richele4]

I'd do it. Everyone else is now!

[Namenic]

It does sound like it is lower risk compared to alternatives (unless they don’t see your son for months). As pp said - maybe in a park where there is a lot of space? And with masks? Your DM is also an adult, so don’t feel that you are responsible for her health.

[Colouringaddict]

We broke lockdown rules today for pretty much the same reason as you. My DD and DSIL are both teachers, they have my 2 dgc, who are returning to nursery and school on Monday, so I won’t be able to mix with them until the summer holidays now.
I don’t regret it, I have stuck to the rules religiously, but Monday being the ease of the rules just isn’t practical

[TheBeastInMsRooneysRoom]

I would. This is not going anywhere fast, so now is a good time to do it.

[RJnomore1]

@cornish009 I meant it’s very selfish to put this decision on the op as of it goes wrong she’s the one who would live with the consequences.

I think it’s unfair to put a loved one in that position. I wouldn’t do it.

[agonyauntie2020]

I would do it.

[PhilCornwall1]

We are off to see my parents today, the weather is going to be hot, so we'll sit in the garden.

I'm high risk and should be shielding, I've not 100% done it (pretty much), but I'm totally done with it now. A form of normality is needed.

[mocktail]

If your garden is too small for social distancing then meet in a park instead. Or meet in your parents' garden instead. You don't all have to be 2m apart, just your household needs to be 2m from theirs, so you don't need a particularly big space.

[Inkpaperstars]

I really hope this weekend isn't the safest it will be for a while, and an inevitable rise in cases starts now. I can see why it would be that way though. Fuck. Are we really just headed back to square one? Even if R rises, case numbers will still be falling so long as R is still below one. We seem to be easing things while its perilously close though.

[DefinatelyAWeeGobshite]

I’d do it. I met my mum on Wednesday for her birthday after not seeing her since early Feb. We went a socially distanced walk down the esplanade and it was so lovely.

[Firef1y72]

From what I've just read, the extremely clinically vulnerable are going to be "allowed" to go out and meet with one other person (socially distanced) from tomorrow.

Personally I would allow them to make their own decision, especially if they have a life limiting condition.

But maybe go for a walk/picnic in the park instead of the garden.
And can you teach your lo the "social distancing hug", it works really well with my SEN boy (10 going on 4), when he wants to give someone a hug he hugs himself while the person he wants to hug does the same. It's not the same as a real hug, but better than nothing

[MaximumDose]

Do it. We did similar yesterday as next week our smallest will be back at school and i wouldn't want to risk it then.

[Shosha1]

We did it yesterday, for exactly the same reasons. I'm on the shielding list and on Monday DS will go back to work and DGD will go back to nursery. We all felt it was safer now than after.

[Mummyoflittledragon]

It sounds as thought you've done everything you can. I’d do it. I wouldn’t meet in the park. Not everyone socially distances there and those people pose a far greater risk to your parents than you by the sound of it.

[Parmavioletmum]

I would do it. We are doing similar with my parents and sisters today. We havent seen each other since the start of lockdown (my parents have done a couple of standing at the end of the garden prior to the last 2 weeks) and we have all been completely isolating, not even going to the shops specifically for the last 2 weeks. Both of my sisters are returning home as they have to return to work in childcare setting as of Monday so we have all agreed now is the safest time indefinitely to see each other and them to see the kids as both my partner and I are in the vulnerable categories. Mental health is important too and it sounds like you have all been completely isolating so the risk would be ever so minimal. You need to weigh up the pros and cons against risk but in your situation, I would.

[iMatter]

Do it.

As you say, it would appear this is the safest time.

Have a lovely time

[WanderingMilly]

Do it but do try outside, even if you can't distance. Or a walk in the park or whatever if possible. Gloves and masks if they need to come inside for a quick use of the loo.

[DomDoesWotHeWants]

Do it. You will regret it if you don't.