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AIBU?

To think I shouldn't be named and shamed for not clapping

373 replies

Aberforthsgoat · 22/04/2020 22:17

I clapped originally and it was lovely and everyone turned out for it here
Last week, after a rough night with DS I fell asleep after he went down and missed the clapping
A post went on our community Facebook group actually naming and shaming me.
I was mortified. The post said everyone else turned out and I showed the street up and if I can't spend a minute showing my appreciation I don't deserve to use the NHS if I or my family get ill
I ignored it at the time but I can't get it out of my head it's really upset me.

OP posts:
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Am I being unreasonable?

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orangejuicer · 25/04/2020 08:35

Any idea when the clapping will stop?. At the end of lockdown?

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Sassanacs · 25/04/2020 08:33

Oh what a load of bollox, shaming you online for not doing something 'they' believe you should be doing. Who the fuck do they think they are!

If it were me I'd definitely respond and tell them to get their head out of their ass.

I haven't clapped once because you know what I'm still getting on with my life in this current situation as best I can. Just because I can't go outside doesn't mean that my routine stops. I only just about get round to eating my dinner come 8pm so clapping publicly isn't even on my radar.

I think all front line staff are amazing and the fact I don't 'show face' makes no difference to my appreciation of the people who put themselves at risk to help others every day.

This virus really has brought out the best and worst in some people.

I saw a quote the t'other day that said "we are all in the same storm but we are not all in the same boat" - people need to remember that I think.

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meins · 25/04/2020 08:27

That's awful. We do it on our street... However sometimes someone feels ill and claps from their bed (we have a street group chat) or sometimes they r feeding their newborn. It's an awful thing to do, and says much more about the unhappiness of that person than about u! Maybe I would b tempted to reply politely, to clear my name! X

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lily2403 · 25/04/2020 08:17

I have never joined in the clapping...lots of my family are nurses, care workers and prison officers.
They know I appreciate them. My street didn’t bother at all.

Also a couple of nurses I know have said they would appreciate a fair wage instead of all the clapping 😂

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Fowles94 · 25/04/2020 07:17

Well they'd hate our complex of 90 apartments as no one does it 🤷‍♀️

I'm in bed with the kids at 7.30pm every night and do my bit by cooking my keyworker tea every night.

Either confront them or leave them to their nasty way.

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MangoBiscuit · 25/04/2020 06:05

Yanbu OP, horrible behaviour.

Your thread has made it into (been ripped off by) the Manchester Evening News

www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/uk-news/tired-mum-named-shamed-facebook-18143150?utm_source=facebook.com&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=sharebar

Lazy "journalism " Hmm

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Seabreeze18 · 25/04/2020 06:03

I’ve missed every clap due to my kids bedtime which we are always strict about, due to sleep issues. I also feel sorry anxiety about standing on my doorstep with the big show of it all. However I feel like I am probably being judged by all the neighbours and that upsets me. Wish we could stop it! Just ask for donations instead?

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Bunter888 · 25/04/2020 03:26

I think clapping is the most pathetic thing I have seen. No other country does it, as far as I am aware, and most healthcare systems in the world have nowhere near the resources of the NHS. Think of Iran or Indonesia. My daughter in law is a nurse in New York. Often they run out of masks, but don't threaten to strike; they work though it.

I wouldn't even mind if they were any good at what they are doing. But the fatality rates for under advanced respiratory care are so high that it is clear that many doctors and nurses have little idea of what they are doing with this particular virus. They had three months notoce to get up to speed.

Look at ICNARC data.

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80sMum · 25/04/2020 01:51

YANBU. The clapping thing is not compulsory!

I have not so far joined in with any of the clapping, bashing of saucepan lids and general noise making that takes place every Thursday, nor do I intend to.

That doesn't mean that I am not immensely impressed by and grateful for the dedication of our NHS workers. It just means that I don't feel comfortable standing on my doorstep and clapping to nobody. Neither of my neighbours clap either. I think the only houses in our neighbourhood that had people clapping and clanging were those with children in them. The rest of us don't join in.

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Everlandia · 25/04/2020 01:38

I’d let rip back at them, interfering busybodies! I was one of few families in my street to go out on the very first night and have remembered every week since, because I want to, not out of some misguided sense of ‘what will the neighbours think’. Last night, after running around after elderly parents and a poorly wee one running a temp, I genuinely forgot it was Thursday and after rushing around, making a late tea, tidying away the dishes etc. I realised I’d missed it. I was upset. However, I’d be livid if I was shamed for it! Thankfully my neighbours aren’t complete morons and I’m sure realise we aren’t all standing by with nothing else going on in our heads and our lives! My OH is a keyworker, I have friends and family who are. They’re grateful for the praise but equally they’ve all said they wouldn’t want people to feel guilty if they don’t do it! I’ve set an alarm for next week, mind you, but a poorly kid does come first! Put them in their place and tell them to be thankful they have enough time on their hands to be monitoring their neighbours and perhaps get a volunteering role to use some of that unnecessary energy up! I hear Curtain Twitchers United have vacancies!

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cherish123 · 25/04/2020 01:12

That's awful. Speak to the administrator of the group and ask the post to be removed. If it is not, perhaps there is somewhere on social media to report it. If you can't get it removed, you could calmly and politely post that it is your business whether you clap or not. Just because you are not clapping, does not mean you appreciate the less. What an ignorant person. What is this? The stasi? Where I live, no one claps. That doesn't mean we don't appreciate the NHS.

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Lovely1a2b3c · 24/04/2020 23:39

Maybe reply to your neighbour mentioning the eejits who were clapping (in crowds, with no social distancing) on various London bridges last and the previous Thursday night.

Say that you would feel guilty clapping when it's encouraging such irresponsible behaviour; which will ultimately lead to more work for the NHS.

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Sconio123 · 24/04/2020 23:31

You're a better person than I am.

I'd have taken a screenshot, posted it publicly on Facebook. Posted it on Twitter. @ at as many people I could think of, and let the public show the tosser what REAL naming and shaming is.

But yeah, I'm vindictive like that if someone has a pop :)

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Esselra · 24/04/2020 22:49

I’ve just seen this come up on sky news feed haha

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FelicisNox · 24/04/2020 22:46

You need to get back on that post and say:

It's taken me some time to answer this appalling post as I was utterly shocked to find my neighbours could behave so badly, I didn't realise that bullying was an accepted behaviour in my street. I stand corrected.

As you well know I normally do clap for carers, however, I had been up all night with my son and fell asleep.

Thank you for publicly shaming me for something that the last time I looked was completely normal.

Thanks to this awful post I now know to avoid you all like the plague.

It's shame you didn't have the back bone to say this to my face so I could have corrected you before it got to this stage.
One more thing. #BeKind

Then leave the page and from now on you do your own thing, stick your nose in the air and ignore the bitches.

They did this because they believe you won't stand up for yourself... show them otherwise and don't mix with them again, even if they apologise. They've shown their true colours so don't try to repaint them and don't be intimidated by them.

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Lovely13 · 24/04/2020 21:44

Oh for goodness sake with those people and their stupid nonsense. It’s meant to be a gesture of goodwill and thanks, not some stasi compulsory act. Tell them to sod off. And get off that forum.

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bangheadhere40 · 24/04/2020 21:14

This is on sky news

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Ken1976 · 24/04/2020 21:13

My daughter is a nurse and I live with her family. I have never been out and clapped . Not once . Neither has she 😂

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Midlifebaby · 24/04/2020 21:08

Hi OP, I saw this post when you wrote it and didn’t reply but felt sorry for you. Just saw it as a headline in Sky news - I bet your neighbours feel like right twats now Grin

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Fosler · 24/04/2020 21:06

OP. Just ignore. Honestly, words fail me. You do not have to respond, just ignore.

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FabulouslyFab · 24/04/2020 21:06

I stand in my back garden and applaud all by myself. I clap for all of us and how brave we all have to be just now. I can hear others in the village clapping and cheering.
I don’t applaud at the front of my house because my two nearest sets of neighbours, who clap and cheer, are not letting anything get in the way of their social lives. I feel we are applauding different things.

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Fosler · 24/04/2020 21:04

I don't clap! I'm a carer, I'd be clapping myself! That would just be embarrassing! 😀
As a carer, it's nice to know that people are more aware of what we do, but honestly, no one needs to clap for me. I love my job, it's very rewarding and I'm more lucky in that I work for an amazing company who take great care of us as well as our clients.
I pray that we will all be back to normal soon but I hope that there will be a shift in people's opinions. I've run my own business, very successfully for years yet I'm judged because of my job, as if I'm not capable of doing better. Well, I was judged but I think that, for now, that's changed. I hope for all of us key workers, who I have always appreciated anyway, we will gain some respect.
Anyway, thanks to those who clap but please don't put yourselves at risk. 💐

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Honeycake50 · 24/04/2020 20:55

This reply has been withdrawn

The OP has privacy concerns, so we've agreed to take this down.

urkidding · 24/04/2020 20:50
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TJM123 · 24/04/2020 20:43

Can you report them to the admin of the group? That is not ok. You or your family might have been poorly, or any number of reasons you didn’t want to clap! They sound unhinges for sure.

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