My son.. Please can I have advice

[Happymind]

This isn't an AIBU, but I know this is one of the busy threads and I need as much advice as possible.

My son is 16 (almost 17) and is six months into his A-levels. He is suffering with depression and anxiety and is currently awaiting therapy sessions. He is finding his A-levels difficult due to the fact that he studying three different subjects and at the moment, it's an effort to get up and dressed for the day let alone find the motivation to study and get his head around his subjects.

After a long chat, we decided that it may be in his best interests to quit and look into studying one subject that he is interested in. I know this isn't possible to do with A Levels, but does anyone else know what is available to someone of his age in terms of studying for a qualification.

I find the whole further study options confusing having not looked into them properly beforehand. If he went into another form of education, would they accept him at this stage? And if he did have to wait until their intakes, would he be allowed to work until then? (I'm not sure seeing as they are meant to be in education until 18).

He is passionate about film studies and originally wanted to get his A levels to enable him to attend film school. If he doesn't do A Levels, is that still possible with another qualification?

Sorry for all the questions, I just feel desperately sorry for him and don't want his to waste his life away but equally don't want to force him to do something that is adding to his mental health issues.

Many thanks in advance.

[shinynewapple2020]

Would an apprenticeship be an option for your DS instead of A levels or a full time BTEC? My DS decided that A levels weren't for him at the end of his first year and decided to apply for an apprenticeship instead, combining work experience with a qualification, whilst getting paid. It's definitely been the best thing for him.

[sashh]

OK I'm going to be a pedant. It is BTEC (formerly business and technical education council).

I'm being a pedant because Btech is an Indian qualification and I don't want the OP or anyone reading this, maybe in the future, to start researching a qualification from India.

Sorry for the pedantry.

OP

Time out of anything to work on your ds's mental health is valuable.

[erinaceus]

@Happymind I thought that once you chose a pathway that you were stuck with it. I didn't realise how many other options were out there.

I’ve got anecdotes by the lots of them of people who variously dropped out of school, A-level programs, who missed or resat a year or two of education at whatever stage, who lost years of their lives to health problems of all sorts (including MH stuff, I missed two years of education through MH problems and know people who missed, like, a decade of their lives who are now doing postdoctoral study or in careers or who have families of their own or all three).

It sounds as if there might be two interrelate issues at play, the MH stuff and the education stuff. My experience is that in general people other than the sufferer and perhaps their family tend to chronically underestimate how disabling MH stuff can be especially if it is “only” depression/anxiety, hence your son’s school not letting up in terms of pressure.

The other experience I have is that the situation around a person matters a lot to their mental health, so supporting your son to explore other options than the path he is on (even if he decides in the end to press on with his current path) is a supportive thing to do I think.

The suggestion someone made of doing an online course over the summer is a good one. These can be quite demanding, easily A-level level of difficult and useful to learn something new, keep someone occupied and also valuable for CV. Your son could take one jointly with someone (you? A family friend?), I got a lot out of the one I took in parallel with some colleagues (was a work-related topic).

Hang in there

[PaulHollywoodsSexGut]

From working and living with film and media peeps I would say that IF HE IS UP TO IT he volunteers.

Now what that looks like I don’t know but if you are in or near London/Manchester you’d have a plethora of options.

For the other major cities of the UK you’d have several opportunities too to examine - and not just for film. My friend who works for the BFI as part of their digital team started at 15 making cups of tea at Granada TV.

I would agree that his MH must come first but if he wants to take a different path then research all options, let him cease his ALevels and then plan plan plan.

As you say the worst case scenario is he stops ALevels and has nothing else and sinks further down.

Good luck.

(And BTW as a child of Scotland in the 1990s where we could take 3/4/5 Highers as we wished I’ve consistently been surprised at the folk I know made to take THREE ALevels. ALevels are fucking hard).

[WisestIsShe]

I was you at the end of last academic year. DS just couldn't cope with the a level pressure, he was totally miserable and retreating into his shell. After discussions with him and college he moved to a BTEC in business this year and is like he's a different person. He's up and wants to go to college, he's acing his assessments he's even made a couple of friends. I wouldn't have believed it could make such a difference in such a short period of time. As pp have said as long as he gets good marks the BTEC gives enough points for uni, if that's the path he wants to take.

[MyOwnSummer]

I have a relative who works in the film industry, and has done for many years. He is now quite senior. He went to a private school where they realised that he wasn't much good academically but was fantastic at art, so he trained to do clever stuff with computer graphics and has made a career out of it.

He says is going to be years before that industry recovers. It is not a good time to be starting out in the industry, though by the time your son finishes study / training it might be OK again.

If he really wants to study film I would strongly suggest that he identifies which practical skill he wishes to learn - CGI, camera operator, sound production etc rather than just doing a generalist "film studies" course. Having a technical skill will be far more useful than being yet another wannabe director with zero experience or contacts.