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AIBU?

....to hate the phrase "inappropriate behaviour"?

68 replies

Greensleeves · 04/09/2007 17:28

It sets my teeth on edge. I've heard teachers/nursery folk say it of children fighting/shouting etc, "XXX was behaving inappropriately". It sounds....cold, and formal, and a bit straight-out-of-a-textbook. Not quite human somehow.

AIBU?

OP posts:

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LittleBella · 04/09/2007 20:44

She said she's not allowed to use time out.

Also naughty step etc. I don't have a problem with not being allowed to use naughty step, don't feel particularly strongly about it, but was very surprised that she's not allowed to use time out. At least, she thinks she isn't!

tori32 · 04/09/2007 20:59

I think she has misunderstood the guidelines as I am a childminder in a network and we all use time out if it is required from time to time.

LittleBella · 04/09/2007 21:22

Hmm that worries me a bit tbh.

If she doesn't understand guidelines in her own profession, she's probably not that bright, is she?

I am beginning to have doubts about her.

But I digress, sorry.

Kathyis6incheshigh · 04/09/2007 21:25

I think people very often misunderstand guidelines. She might have been on a training course with a duff trainer, or been given some badly written leaflets on it. I wouldn't worry (unless there are other reasons to, of course).

tori32 · 04/09/2007 22:02

Thats possible about the poor tutoring. But the OFSTED guidelines are national standards and should be read before starting in the profession. OFSTED also usually ask you about methods of punishment/reprimand on inspection so if you give an inappropriate answer they will correct you if you are wrong.

Greensleeves · 04/09/2007 23:09

{shock] at a childminder not being the brightest star in the firmament

[dead faint]

OP posts:

MrsScavo · 05/09/2007 13:09

Ooooh, do you have issues whith childminders, Greensleeves?

london11 · 05/09/2007 18:53

As far as I am aware we, childminders, can use time out but are not allowed to put the child out of our sight. Supervision must be maintained at all times.

bubblagirl · 05/09/2007 19:00

i think inappropiate was used as silly and naughty can make a child feel bad as silly can mean dumb when bullied by kids and naughty could make a child feel like its them personally not there actions

so inappropiate cannot be confused as they know its there actions that are wrong and not them

it was found many young children suffering from depression due to feeling inadequate i think inappropiate is a good word as they know it was there behaviour that was wrong and not them personally i think it helps them establish there actions better

FromGirders · 05/09/2007 19:31

OK, I tried to step away from the thread, but I'm still thinking about it twenty minutes later, so -
Greeny, please, quite a lot of CMs take up CMing as a second career because it fits their life much better after they have children of their own. Some of us have been very well educated and like to think of ourselves as quite smart. I admit that some aren't, but that's the same in any walk of life.
Now I'll go away and get a life, rather than worrying that someone whom I don't even actually know thinks I might not be the brightest fairy light on the tree.

Greensleeves · 06/09/2007 16:38

Yes, sorry, it was rude and horrible, I apologise. It was a totally subjective dig borne out of a personal issue with a particular CM. Stupid generalisation, sorry.

OP posts:

lucyellensmum · 06/09/2007 16:51

what about saying - don't do that, it is naughty!! now now, calm down, not you ARE naughty but that behaviour is naughty.

MrsScavo · 06/09/2007 22:42

It would be interesting to hear what Americans think, or any body living in the US.
Many moons ago I knew two boy whos American parents neve said 'good boy' to them, instead used 'good job', and tried not to used the words 'no' or 'don't' when talking to them.

I found it rather silly.

3andnomore · 06/09/2007 22:46

what I find worse is people teling Kids they are "Bad" because they misbehave....and people get excited about naughty, lol...I think bad is much worse....inappropriate is a bit to advanced for yong ones and well, far to PC correct I suppose...

tori32 · 06/09/2007 22:49

FromGirders I do have to second that comment, as before I became a CM I have been a nurse in the RAF, Theatre Scrub Nurse and have also done my Flight Nurse training. So no I don't think that I have a problem with brightness. Like many I found that the NHS don'tpay me well enough to warrant seeing dd for 1 hour per day.

tori32 · 06/09/2007 22:51

lucyellensmum thats what I tend to use. The behaviour is silly or naughty.

3andnomore · 06/09/2007 22:52

lol, not read all there, but the whole american...good job thing...I mean they even use that term with the overweight people on Biggest loser and I find it so so so well...patronising...
also, greeny, has it really harmed tose, growing up in "normal" circumstances, with generally loving parents/parent, when we were told oh that is silly or daft or even stupid....? Just pndering....

SleeplessInTheStaceym11House · 06/09/2007 22:59

i just tell dd what she did was naughty, from time to time she looks at me and says 'am i naughty mummy?' and i say 'no, what you did was naughty but that doesnt mean you are naughty, you just have to remember next time that it is naughty and not do it'!

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