....to hate the phrase "inappropriate behaviour"?

[Greensleeves]

It sets my teeth on edge. I've heard teachers/nursery folk say it of children fighting/shouting etc, "XXX was behaving inappropriately". It sounds....cold, and formal, and a bit straight-out-of-a-textbook. Not quite human somehow.

AIBU?

[chocchipcookie]

Dear peachy. I have chosen not to engage with anyone back home as my therapist says you are all a negative energy.

I'm off to reclaim my power now.

[Peachy]

If you knew where I came from you'd be PYSL (if you knew the place obv)

[McEdam]

Pushing a pen up your nose is now called self-actualising. Probably. I don't like 'inappropriate behaviour' either, so mealy-mouthed. You can avoid labelling children easily by saying 'that was a naughty/silly thing to do' rather than 'you are naughty/silly'. You don't need bloody stupid euphemisms.

[Hurlyburly]

Putting a pen up your nose is called self-actualising?

Not in my office.

[pointydog]

when you have to talk about 'inappropriate behaviour' as often as teachers do, you need as many different ways of possible of saying the same thing.

[NKF]

I hate it as a phrase but I think there is some behaviour that is okay but not right for the context. Eg yelling and running is fine in the park but not in the restaurant. I suppose the phrase helps distinguish the "not here" behaviour from the "must never do." I still don't use it though.

[LoveAngel]

Judging on how some MN-ers throw up their arms and screech about their kids being called 'naughty' or 'silly' etc, I can understand how this 'inappropriate behaviour' malarkey has crept into usage. Personally, I think 'Just say what you fecking mean'.

[Blandmum]

I thing because parents sometimes throw a strop when you say it like it is.

And refuse to believce that little algenon could be anything less than 120% perfect. And if he doesn't behave it is because he is soooooooooooooooooooooooo clever and the rotten old teacher just will not see it!

[handlemecarefully]

I think LovelAngel is right, it's a form of confrotation avoiding 'politesse'

[VeniVidiVickiQV]

What about "This is unasseptible behaviour"???

[pointydog]

and what's not clear about 'inappropriate behaviour'?

It's all drummed into 'em, you know.

[chocchipcookie]

Yes, Martian Bishop. Cleopatra is exceptionally creative and full of spirit. And very articulate at our dinner parties.

[Blandmum]

Is she good with an asp???

[LaCod]

lol at unasseptabl;e

[Kathyis6incheshigh]

I hate it too & am trying to work out why it creeps me out so much.

I think it is because it is so false - it is condemnatory whilst claiming not to be. Kind of reminds me of euphemisms, like a Bond-style villain saying he is going to 'liquidate' someone instead of 'kill'.

It is also self-righteous - the person saying it is implying 'I am too correct and perfect a person ever to use a word like naughty' - and self-conscious. And it makes me think of the worst kind of political correctness, where people use language as a power trip under the cover of being concerned about the rights of the disadvantaged.

(Am wholly aware that none of this is necessarily implied by the word, but this is what I associate with it, anyway )

[Blandmum]

and also it infers that someohw the person being talked to, needs to be told that putting abnother child's head in a head lock is unacceptable behaviour. As if they could be any possibility that this is thought OK by some

[LittleBella]

Oh absolutely right Kathy.

I hate the idea that the person saying it is defining what is appropriate or not. "naughty" in that sense, just sounds more neutral. We might all disagree on what constitutes naughty, but with inappropriate it's one of those Alice in Wonderland words - it means exactly what the speaker wants it to mean, neither more nor less. Hence its vaguely sinister overtones, I think...

[Blandmum]

because if that person does think the behaviour is OK, there is probably a strong chance that they don't actually know what 'Unacceptable' means, and needs to have things explained with great care.

[Kathyis6incheshigh]

It's authoritarian whilst claiming not to be.
It purports to just be a descriptive word, but actually it is prescriptive, because who decides what is and what is not appropriate?

It makes me think of Modern Parents in Viz telling Tarquin off for non-age-appropriate behaviour if he argues with them.

[Kathyis6incheshigh]

x-posts LittleBella.
Exactly!

[MrsScavo]

Children are never punished for inappropriate behaviour... they face a 'concequence'.

[Kathyis6incheshigh]

LOL MrsScavo - so true.

[Blandmum]

and very often, not even that!

[LittleBella]

I was talking to a new childminder today and she was telling me that she's not allowed to use time out now.

She just has to tell the child that it's inappropriate behaviour.

So no consequences at all. Good old OFSTED.

[tori32]

I don't know where this childminder was trained but that is not an OFSTED regulation. The rules are that under no circumstances are children to be humiliated or to have corporal punishment including smacking. There is nothing to stop a childminder from taking the child away from the situation and explaining what they have done wrong i.e. time out.