AIBU to expect childminder to have more children?

[LifeAndSoulOfThe]

Apologies as the title may sound a little rude, I’ve been looking for a childminder for my daughter. We have found one who is lovely, the only thing is she will only have one baby (DD) then 3 other children who are between 1.5-3, now I like her a lot but I’m worried about a small group of children and none are her age.

Thoughts please?

[gospelsinger]

No it wouldn't concern me, as it would feel more like a family. It would mean CM would not be trying to feed two babies at same time. I would not see any benefit at this age of DD being with other babies. I would absolutely only be looking for someone who would be able to give her good care in a pleasent and safe environment and who would interact with her. Older children will interact more with DD than babies.

[Rainbowqueeen]

Wouldn’t bother me at all for a baby.
Once she is old enough to play alongside other kids she will be in the age group where the ratios allow more than one child so will be with children her own age.

[TreestumpsAndTrampolines]

Once they're 3 or so, yes, nice to be with other kids of a similar age.. but a baby couldn't care less - isn't it about 18 months before they even come out of parallel play and realise other people actually exist as other people?

[Poppinjay]

I’m asking whether this would concern you as a parent?

Not at all.

Babies don't benefit from being around other babies. They benefit from beig around children and adults who teach them by interacting with them.

I''ve watched many of my mindees go off to our village school with a ready made bunch of big 'brothers and sisters' looking forward to seeing them in the playground and keeping an eye on them. It's lovely.

Childminders tend to replicate more closely the care your child would receive if they were at home with you and the varied ages of the otther children is part of that.

She's going to be fine.

[Freddiefox]

If you had baby at home with you unless they have older sibs they wouldn’t really be with children the same ages anyway

[akmum18]

I understand your question OP you basically want to know if your baby will be ok not mixing with other babies with just older children and toddlers being there? Babies and toddlers do fine alone as long as she is fed clean and happy she won’t care what other children are there. I assume she’s an only child so not mixing with other children at home either? If she gets a bit older and you’re concerned about that then consider nurseries where she will mix with babies/take her to mother and baby groups, but I wouldn’t let it worry you at this stage they don’t interact or play with each other properly until the toddler stage.

[thethoughtfox]

This is a good thing: other babies are high need and your baby would have to compete for time and attention.

[saraclara]

If you were a SAHM, your baby wouldn't mix with other babies all day either!

As someone else said, the whole point of choosing a childminder over a nursery, is for your child to have a family environment rather than a more institutional one. And this is what families are like, unless you have twin babies.

[Mia1415]

My son was with a childminder from 6 months old. He mixed with older children from day one. He went to lots of other houses, play groups etc and it made him really confident.

[JemimaPuddleCat]

I really wouldn't worry about your six month old daughter not socialising with other babies at the childminder.
I mean, surely she'll get enough of that with her eight month old brother at home?

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/parenting/a3789092-What-age-did-your-baby-start-wearing-hard-sole-shoes

[CustardSlicesOnesNeverEnough]

My dd goes to a cm.
She's nr 2. There's two others aged 2 and 3.
And a baby around 9m

Everytime I collect she's including them all. Even. Painting etc.

Free play the older ones are happily playing and the baby is in a junperoo having a great time.

[BecauseReasons]

Studies have shown benefits to children of mixing with older kids- they pick up skills faster through imitation. Also, babies have no need for a peer group.

[2020BetterBeBetter]

No, it wouldn’t bother me. From the age of three, I would prefer same aged children but not younger than that because I don’t think they benefit.

[BillHadersNewWife]

Why would it concern any parent!? My children never went to a child minder and so were only with their older siblings. They're fine! They mix with children their own age at 3 plus when they start nursery or preschool.

[DecemberSnow]

When your little one is 2/3/4 the childminder will more than likely have another child the similar age, But they still may not go to the same school...

She will mingle with other babies at baby classes / play group / music class etc

[Babamamananarama]

Babies don't need friends of a similar age. They need a strong, attached relationship with an attentive, consistent adult. Which is why a good CM is far better (in my opinion) than a nursery where the key workers will be spread very thin looking after lots of children with similar intense needs.

My sister is a childminder (a very very good one, ex teacher with specialist early year qualifications) and I think a good childminder can be an absolutely brilliant addition to a young child's world.

And yep babies LOVE being around slightly older children and learn loads from them - just like in a family with siblings. I would say until they are at least three, they end up in competition with other children their own age much more often than actually engaging in friendships.

Worry about your child's friendships when they are three. What you need now for your child to be happy and feel safe is an attentive carer who will build a strong bond with your baby.

[JanuaryJones20]

Eh!? I think this is really high and right up to the limit of the ratio for one career. Confused as to why you’d want less time/attention for your daughter. My CM only has 3 plus 2 at wraparound (inc my DC). Wondering if I’m missing something now.

[JanuaryJones20]

If you want loads of kids the same age do nursery.

[LifeAndSoulOfThe]

@JemimaPuddleCat I intentionally changed certain details to try to not to out myself as I know this CM uses MN. Thank you for outing me!!

[Maryann1975]

I’m a cm and have a mix of dc I look after between age 14 and 9 months. The babies live watching the older ones and look forward to the attention from the older ones when we do the school run. The older ones love it when the toddlers shout their names as they see them at school pick up and love giving the baby’s a bottle or cuddling them.
All the ages benefit from mixing with all the other ages, it’s a bit like an extended family. (Just for the record, no one is ever made to ‘look after’ a baby -if they don’t want to sit with a baby their is no pressure, they just seem to like to do it). I find babies would far rather watch older dc going about their play than watch another baby sat still doing the same as they are doing.
We do go to childminder groups 2, sometimes 3 times a week and tend to sit the babies together on a suitable mat, but they don’t really pay any attention to each other, preferring to watch the older ones around the room.
So, no, it wouldn’t bother me if my baby was the only baby in a childcare setting, I think it is a really good setup for a little one.

[Chocmallows]

OP you could have namechanged, changing ages and genders looks worse.

[LifeAndSoulOfThe]

@chocmallows it’s not really the point is it? He/she could clearly guess why but chose to do something pretty nasty/malicious instead. There is no need.

[notacooldad]

No guys. I’m simply asking whether it would concern you to not be mixing with similar aged children?
It dudnt bother me in the slightest.
It never even crossed my mind to be concerned about it at all.

[ploughingthrough]

My dd was our CMs only baby when she was under 1. It was fantastic and such a brilliant setting for my daughter. No need for babies to socialise with other babies. DD is 7 now and very sociable so it didn't effect her adversely. I would always choose a good CM over a nursery for a baby.

[springydaff]

Get the thread pulled op - someone has compromised your anonymity.

I agree with you, no need at all.