AIBU to expect childminder to have more children?

[LifeAndSoulOfThe]

Apologies as the title may sound a little rude, I’ve been looking for a childminder for my daughter. We have found one who is lovely, the only thing is she will only have one baby (DD) then 3 other children who are between 1.5-3, now I like her a lot but I’m worried about a small group of children and none are her age.

Thoughts please?

[Cattenberg]

My childminder seems pretty organised at managing the ratios. Whenever her “one under one” reaches their first birthday, she has another baby lined up to start. So, your baby might not be the youngest for very long.

It’s up to you whether you feel a nursery or a childminder would be the best fit for your child. Almost every parent I know has gone for nursery care, but I’m happy with the decision I made. DD was only one when she started, and I thought she’d feel more secure in a home-from-home environment with one consistent carer. She’s really bonded with the regular children, too.

The childminder does take the children out to toddler groups and other activities, so I don’t feel they miss out on the social aspect. I think they get the best of both worlds, really.

[4amWitchingHour]

It may be that your childminder will end up taking on a child of your DDs age once your DD is older and the ratios allow it. You are overthinking this though.

[LifeAndSoulOfThe]

Thank you for all your opinions, I now understand a lot more & I genuinely feel more comfortable. As I said ^ first time parent everything is so new. I can now see the positives of being the only baby for 6 months or so.

Did the PP ^^ my baby will be 6 months

[username1724]

My dd started at the childminder when she was 7 months old. She was the only baby. By the time she started school she had 3 others in her year group that all went to her childminder. It's also good for them to interact with different ages, they learn so much from them. I really wouldnt worry and as others said, our childminder could only have 1 baby at a time for good reason.

[RubyandMax]

This is literally the main benefit of a childminder

Your baby is in a family setting and gets more attention as the others are a bit older. Babies don't care about mixing with other babies, they want/need adult attention.

[Doyoumind]

If you want your child mixing with other children of a similar age you send them to a nursery rather than a childminder.

[MumsGoneToIceland]

I understand your concern, I had similar concerns at the time (11 years ago now!) but it was never an issue. Young children will mix with various ages and not notice the age difference, plus my childminder would join up sometimes with other childminders and she took them to groups so they would mix with similar ages. Also once they turned 3, they went to preschool too so got to mix with similar ages there too. We love our childminder (eldest is 12 and only just stopped going, youngest still goes at 9 and still loves going and helping out with the younger ones).

[edwinbear]

No it wouldn’t concern me because babies don’t ‘mix’. When they are older and do play with each other, then yes, I wanted DC to mix with lots of similar aged children so they went to a nursery.

I used a CM when DD was a baby and DS a toddler, it worked very well, but a nursery was right for them as they got older.

[BoomBoomsCousin]

She won't have others her age as a baby but that may change as she gets older and the CM's charges change. For the first couple of years it won't make much difference. Once she's a bit older having older and younger children around her will, generally, make for a richer environment.

I think the benefit of moving on to school with children you were in childcare with is a bit of a mixed blessing - it gives a little familiarity for the first few weeks but it can lead to not branching out and making friends with others. The four years she is in the childcare environment will be much more important than the possible benefits of moving to primary school with a couple of known faces.

[cantlivewithoutcoffee]

If you pick a childminder, its because you want the 'family' environment with children of different ages. If you want your child to be with those of the same age, then send them to a nursery.

One of my cousins went to a childminder where he was the only child she looked after alongside her own children who were 2 and 3 years older than him. He is now 22 and still considers those children as his older siblings; they took him for his first drink when he turned 18, introduced him to uni life and shared many other milestones with him.

I do feel you're overthinking it though - at this young age, it is most important you pick who you are most comfortable leaving your child with. When they are older (2.5yrs+ in my case), you can move to nursery so they mix with others the same age and make those friends who they may end up going to school with.

[MollyButton]

If your baby goes to a CM at six months, they will be the only baby. But eventually the older children will "move on" and the CM will take new children. Remember those 2 and 3 year olds will be starting school soon. Also if she is a sole CM (she works alone) then she may well take her charges to a toddler group, or when they are older just do "wrap around care" for pre-school.
I wouldn't rely on other children from a CM going to the same school, and it can be tricky with a Nursery too; unless you live in a very small place.

[BikeRunSki]

I think OP is concerned that if there are no other children her DC’s age at the CM, then when her child starts school, she’ll have no friends her own age to move to school with.

OP, the childcare choices you make now need not be binding until your child starts school. It is fairly common to combine CM/preschool once a child is 3; this gives plenty of time to make friends before starting school.

[Thestrangestthing]

it’s my first baby so maybe I’m over thinking this.

Maybe a bit

[nannynick]

Babies don't need to be with other babies. If you want friends for your DD of similar age then find parents with similar aged child to meet up with at weekends/days DD is not with childminder.
People move a lot so even being friends with another baby of similar age she may not go to school with that child.
Children tend to make friends when they are 3 or 4 years old, when they are attending pre-school and music groups and places like that.
The childminder may meet up with other local childminder's and so your DD may get to know others of similar age who may eventually go to same school.

[TheTrollFairy]

It wouldn’t concern me. The thing I love about DDs nursery and why why have chosen the particular schools is for the age range mismatch.
DD goes to nursery but it unlikely to go to the same school as any nursery friends

[Emmelina]

Childminders tend to work alone and therefore have strict ratios as to how many children of each age they can care for. OFSTED regulate them as they would a nursery, and it’s really important all children are safe and their needs met fully.

From Pacey:
A childminder may care for a maximum of six children under the age of 8. Of these six children, a maximum of three may be young children and there should only be one child under the age of one (a child is a young child until 1st September following their 5th birthday).

[MyOtherProfile]

What @RubyandMax said. This is why we chose a CM. There was a lovely family style atmosphere and both of mine benefitted from being the only baby when they each started at 8 months. By the time they were 4 and in their preschool year they mixed more with their own age which seemed a good preparation for school.

[Schuyler]

YABU. It wouldn’t and didn’t bother me. I liked my baby being in a smaller environment. The childminder having so few children meant they went out to lots of fun places. My child thrived. I moved him to nursery when he was older.

[SaleQuestion]

My dc has been with a childminder since 10 months. She started as the youngest and she’s now the oldest at 4 years. Since she has been with the childminder she has attended with children younger and older (including some after school children). I think mixing with children of different ages has had a really positive impact on her development and personality.

The mix of age range is one of the things we like most about about our dc attending a childminder. If you’re unsure and would prefer your dc to mix with similar aged children have you considered a nursery?

[Herecomespenny]

My DD has been with a childminder since she was 7 months old.

It doesn’t bother me that she doesn’t have other children her age to play with while there. It never actually occurred to me and that’s not why I chose a childminder.

That said, she does go to nursery as well as a childminder and she’s got other children her age to play with but the room she is in is for 0-2s so some of the kids feel a lot older.

I’m not sure what you want OP 🤷‍♀️

[dappledsunshine]

Completely normal for a childminder as previous posters have explained its to do with ratios.

If it's really important for you that your baby mixes with others of the same age then a nursery would be better. Although honestly at that age the baby is too young for it to have any really benefit.

[Doidoit19]

Wouldnt bother me in the slightest. Neither my son or daughter really interacted with children their own age as babies, it was always older children, and it was never an issue.

[PureAlchemy]

As pp say, a childminder will only have one baby at a time. If you want your DD to be around other babies, you’d need to send her to a nursery.

But I wouldn’t worry about a baby not being around other babies. Babies don’t really play with other babies, it’s more important that they have a secure relationship with the adults caring for them.

By the time your DD is of an age where she’ll be interested in playing with children her own age, she’ll be old enough for the childminder to have a few other children the same age at the same time. The childminders I know tend to take their charges to playgroups regularly, so they also mix with other children there too.

Plus childminders often do wrap around care for nursery school once kids are old enough to get the free hours at nursery, so it’s not necessarily an either or thing until your DD starts school.

[AlexaAmbidextra]

How much mixing can a baby do?

[Justontherightsideofnormal]

I used to be a Childminder and no your child will not miss out by not being with children of similar age. Childminders are a dying breed so if you are lucky enough to secure a place for your child embrace the unique early years your child will get, its such a great environment for youngsters before they get to an age where they need to attend school x