To wish we could stop over complicating Christmas

[Beswitched]

Ever more elaborate decorations, Christmas boxes, expensive branded advent calendars, fancy alternatives to the standard Christmas Dinner, competitive posts on Facebook, manic manic shopping, trips to lapland, Secret Santa angst etc etc and the whole shebang starting in November.

Aibu to wonder what happened to a couple of presents from Santa, simple presents for family and friends, putting the beloved and tattered decorations up a few days before Christmas and enjoying a roast dinner together?
It all seems to have become so elaborate these days.

Several years ago I told the family, step-family, extended family & friend groups that we were downsizing Christmas. One room gets decorated at home, a few lights elsewhere. Kids get the 'something to wear, something to read, something you want and something you need' gift list only and only edible items in the stockings.

Since then, we plan get-togethers in the lead up instead of present giving with people we need to see.

Come the actual Christmas week, it is just us. No big family events to stress over, no endless travelling or seeing in new visitors for days on end

We love it. It's chilled and we have a few days to be spontaneous over the holidays too without trying to attend 'do's'!

Do it your way, don't stress about what others are doing!

I’m a bit of an old Scrooge so happy to join in this but I do think it’s getting worse. Seemed to be a lot more people of my acquaintance putting their tree up in mid November this year than ever before. There’s no need. We put ours up quite early as we have two small children (last weekend our tree went up) but at least that was in December! If it were up to me I wouldn’t bother until school broke up (both DH and are are teachers) but I can see that’s a bit late for some people.... but is it just going to keep creeping forward now? Will people be putting them up in September by the time I’m a Granny?!

It might just be me but I don't see how Christmas Eve boxes have becoming a wanky new trend on MN, my Nan used to do them for my mum and her siblings on the 70's and I know quite a few other people who have been doing them just as long.

It’s not compulsory to buy things just because they are advertised or because other people have them. We don’t do a lot of it and still have a wonderful family day with lovely food, lots of company, songs, games and (mostly) happy memories. We spend a fair bit on nice wine though!

I agree with you, OP.

I've spent a few Christmases in other countries and they had their traditions and spending but the consumerism wasn't quite as bad as here.

its just 1 day

If only!

Do what you want to do. Ignore what you don’t. I’ve no idea why people on here find that so difficult.

It’s not all consumerism either. We do EOTS and apart from initial outlay on the 5 euro elf (which will last years) it doesn’t cost a red cent.

If people annoy you on social media, block them for the period. Again, not difficult.

Bloody autocorrect 😫 *become
*in

I agree a more informal version of Christmas Eve boxes have been around for a long time.

New PJs for Santa was a thing when I was a child.

Done:

• traditional advent calendar, and one with pockets which has a little chocolate in.
• some shopping on Amazon
• send cards to family in Australia, USA, India and Germany
• booked boat to see Father Christmas (more an excuse to have a w/e with my sis really, as the kids we are taking are too old to believe!)
• arranged various family visits and booked Premier Inn for New Year visit with family.
• booked sitter for our book club Xmas do on the 23rd

Not done:

• decorated. Will visit old chap who sells trees from his allotment and ask him to put one by for us to collect w/e after next. Love my Woolworth lights!
• ordered any extra food or drink.
• organised visits with other family members - all can be visited in a day so it's OK.
• any actual shopping in a shop (taking 1/2 day tomorrow).
• wrapping (no gifts to wrap yet).

It seems odd to hear 'last minute Xmas bla bla' on the radio. It's not last minute at all, is it?

We do new jammies on Xmas Eve (My Mum always did it)..... it's our wee tradition and we also have spaghetti bol.

We do Elf on a Shelf but he mainly just cuts about the house leaving chocolate wrappings and DD loves it. None of the wrapping up the couch shenanigans.

DD is only grandchild and we say kindly when asked what she needs "nothing". She got a new bike last month from Gumtree because it was a bargain, she's massively outgrown her last one and she has about 10 things to open, most expensive of which is £20 from us.

She's been sat down and said she's already had her really big present so don't expect too much.

The clutter is driving me nuts and we are driving home and back so TBF we don't have the room for tonnes of stuff.

I have 7 full bin bags of outgrown clothes/toys/stuff to give away and they're going to the local refugee charity this week

TBF we've gone a bit OTT with the food order and I'm staying out of the Mrs Doyle and her mate row which will no doubt commence with MIL and DH!

LaurieMarlow, how did your family know Santa's size for pyjamas? :-)

Elf on a shelf is rubbish, I'd never heard of it except on here until I put on one of the morning programmes on TV and it was being talked about there. Quite negatively actually so I'm glad I'm not alone. It all gets a bit much in my opinion.

Damn religion gets in the way too.

how did your family know Santa's size for pyjamas?

That would be telling.

Elf on a shelf is rubbish

In its simplest form (which is what we do) it is moving a soft toy around the house. My children adore it. What’s ‘rubbish’ about that?

@AllergicToAMop I agree, I think a wreath making workshop is a lovely thing to do, crafting and plants are good for your mental health. It's also a non booze or food activity to do of an evening.

We just do what we want to do which is largely recognisable from our childhoods.

We keep the gift list fairly toned down. For the DCs, it's quality not quantity (especially with a birthday days before)

We don't feel obliged to do the same traditions every year. There's some winter wonderland/ panto type events, but not everything, every year.

DH's tradition was presents on Christmas Eve, so we do little things like pyjamas (that they need at some point anyway) but it's not A Big Thing.

We don't bother with things like Elves that we can't be bothered with just because other people do.

it is confusing as it’s a big roast dinner basically

I love MN. A little bubble where everyone has a sunday roast every week. Where all meals are cooked from scratch using organic ingredients.Where everyone cooks every day and never buys ready made with some frozen veg.

A lot of people DO find it complicated cooking a roast dinner - meat/multiple veg/roast potatos/gravy/yorkshires/pudding all at the same time to be served at a certain time and especially when you're doing it at a scale you're not used to. And in my case after a couple too many Christmas morning cocktails...

Amen it's utter madness that so many people buy into. I'm keeping it simple this year, pizza and nibbles for lunch means I won't be stressed and can spend more of my time chilling (and drinking) and less time getting stressed. Win win all round. Maybe for once I shall enjoy christmas......maybe lol.

@shoxfordian I used to feel pressurised but have stepped back in recent years. It's opened my eyes though to how much of the nice parts of Christmas have become buried beneath a mountain of consumerism.

I've tweaked the list by @PBo83 a bit

Yes:

• Christmas Tree naice one in living room, trashy one in hallway outside kids rooms and baby real one I have at work and then comes home with me when I finish up for Xmas and it lives with the festive branches in the kitchen
• Wreath
• Presents for our own kids We have so many nieces and nephews that we don't do Xmas gifts - only Birthdays. [Same thing with siblings as there is so bloody many!]. We do both sets of parents a hamper each though - we fill it full of stuff we know they will like / use
• Visiting close family and meeting friends at a time that suits everyone good excuse to spread the festivities but also to allow for peoples busy schedules
• Christmas games
• Christmas dinner a turkey roast with a few extras and a lovely dessert but none of the unnecessary bits that nobody cares about
• Christmas films and Christmas tunes
• Christmas Eve pub has now become Christmas Eve meal with in-laws all DP's side of the family get together for their Xmas meet up. My side meet up at a family birthday party on 29th each year
• Chocolate advent calendars for kids
• Father Christmas mine are still young enough to all be believers and long may it continue

No

• Elf on the bloody shelf
• December 1st nonsense
• Christmas Eve boxes I may do new PJ's if they have grown out of last years / we have no hand me downs from older cousins
• Huge piles of presents (mostly plastic tat)
• 14 types of veg with Christmas dinner
• Christmas jumper day us adults don't do it, kids participate but we don't buy. It's either hand me downs / jumpers from prior year or some tinsel on something they already own
• Secret 'f'ing Santa I hate it but have been roped into it for one get together this year!
• Christmas cards this makes me a bit sad as I do kind of like the premise of Christmas cards, it is nice to let people - especially older people who are more of the card giving generation - know you are thinking of them
• Buying presents for EVERYONE (plus their kids) - Just agree in advance not to, less stress, less expense and spread the joy of not giving. As mentioned above our family is just too big for us to buy for everyone [11 siblings / partners and 15 nieces and nephews] so screw buying for everyone, in one go
• Rushing about to see everyone on 'the big day' (see them when it suits you all)... and please don't turn up unannounced on Xmas day. Had my SIL / BIL and wild 2yo descend just as I had served dinner a few years back [to be fair it was late as Xmas dinner traditionally goes but still...]
• Advent calendars that cost more than a couple of quid

I do donate to the class xmas hampers and teacher gifts (much prefer them to get vouchers rather than 30 boxes of chocs). I also make sure I send a little gift to people who I want to thank (My youngest is disabled so I get a little something for people involved in her care) and we get our lovely neighbours a hamper for putting up with us.

We save all our change throughout the year - silver and £ coins - and use our Nectar points to cover our Xmas spend. We reuse and recycle and hand me down what we can. We don't buy new unless we have to.

It turns out it is pretty easy to do!

Just us and the dog. No tree (see The Dog)

We get all our favourite food, just as we do for any holiday at home. We save up tv series and films to box set gorge ourselves on. Plan walks that may actually get walked this year (see The Dog).

At best we might, if asked on the day, pop over to see some of DHs sisters... maybe! Maybe not (see The Dog, if we feel the need to say no )

No presents, even for my DSis who has just had a bog box delivered to us. I didn't ask for it, it is very kind but I am not panic buying anything in return. Tough - as she wll knows! No cards, no phione calls. Haven't done any of that for most of my adult life.

So nah! Bah bloody humbug!

Our advent calendar is the Christmas story told over the 24 days in little books. You can hang them on the tree as you read them then they all get packed away in the calendar when the tree comes down.
I bought it a few years ago as DS isn't a great chocolate lover and he gets so many sweets in the run up to Christmas. I also thought it'd be a tradition for him to have when he finally leaves home - to take a bit of us with him.

I used to spend a fortune on Christmas food when there are usually only the 3 of us on Christmas day. We tend to see family over New Year as one sister shares custody with her ex H so likes her time with her sons and the other lives quite a distance.

I'd buy a turkey - which is an enormous faff and far too much for three people - just because Christmas means a turkey! I'd get fancy chocolates that we were too full to eat, fruit that went off in the bowl for the same reason. Loads of nuts, buffet food for the evening. Totally over the top.

Now I buy a smaller main course - like a chicken or gammon (which I know how to cook properly so I can do it blindfold which means I don't get stressed trying to juggle everything). We all decide what we want to eat on Christmas day and I try to get a 'special' for each person - so I may choose the meat, DH may choose the extra desserts and DS chooses the starter. That way everyone has something they are really looking forward to.

A small plate of turkey sandwiches on the table for supper (I have to have turkey sandwiches at Christmas with cranberry sauce so I go to the local supermarket and buy three or four slices off the bone which makes up a good few rounds of sandwiches), some cheese and biscuits, crisps and mince pies or trifle. I make individual trifles,keep them covered in the fridge then I put the cream on as we decide to eat them so it doesn't get that 'fridge burn' taste when cream's been left standing - only takes a minute with a handmixer to whip up half a pot or whatever. That way, if we don't eat food it's not wasted.

And I now I buy large slabs of our favourite bars of chocolate. Doesn't go to waste as we like all of it , instead of leaving the toffee or coffee or whatever ones, you can break off as much as you fancy and we know we'll enjoy it.

If I have leftovers it's cold cuts for Boxing day then back to normal food the day after (with the rest of the pudding or trifles or chocolate lasting until it runs out!)

Much easier on the pocket, less hassle and less waste.

Social media has made it more obvious and encouraged it but it’s hardly a new phenomenon.

’ Aibu to wonder what happened to a couple of presents from Santa, simple presents for family and friends, putting the beloved and tattered decorations up a few days before Christmas and enjoying a roast dinner together?’

I was born in the 70s and don’t recognise your description.

We have 1 DS (7) and the Christmas break for us is a break from work and school to spend time together, and enjoy nice food.

I limit presents for him so that he gets from one remaining grandparent, godparents, parents and Santa (who brings a main toy, a smaller one and a small surprise . That's it. DH and I often buy something joint for ourselves (concert tickets or a night away) and a small stocking each. My siblings all chip in for Mum and we get her something nice - this year it's a voucher towards her next holiday. Most presents are bought online so no trekking around the shops sweating in a big coat. There's no last minute rushing around or feeling pressure to spend because of that I think.
We do elf on the shelf but not as a behaviour tool. It's a toy that does funny capers overnight.
Christmas Eve will be spent with me happily puttering around the kitchen to Christmas music and mulled wine with Mum while DS and DH decorate a gingerbread house.
We get a real tree but use it for kindling firewood during the year so no waste. I've had the same decorations for 10 years and I add a posh bauble or two every year that I mark with the year and it usually reflects something nice we did during the year together, or the memory of a loved one.
We watch Christmas movies, play board games, go for forest walks or go out ice-skating. And eating and drinking nice things. I like to cook and have perfected the Christmas dinner. I do spend a bit on fancy foods but that's my only extravagance and I start to buy non-perishables in August to spread the costs.

I think I might be the only one who doesn’t agree with you OP. I absolutely adore Christmas and am willing to do as many Christmassy activities as possible. I don’t think it makes me materialistic, it’s just good fun!!