To think I'm not being a CF

[RedskyLastNight]

I hadn’t given this a second thought until I started reading CF threads on MN, and now wondering if the other mum in this story might be silently seething.

DD (13) goes to an after school activity at her school. As it finishes at 4.30 (when it’s still light) and she has a 15 minute walk home through a quiet residential area (the same walk she does every day, to and from school) my assumption has always been that she just walks home after it.
DD has a friend that goes to the same activity and lives a few minutes’ walk/2 minutes’ drive away from us. Friend’s mum likes to pick her daughter up from the club in her car. She always offers DD a lift and DD always accepts.
Dropping DD at home probably adds less than a minute to her journey. I don’t feel the need to reciprocate because I don’t think the girls need a lift. I don’t expect or want DD’s friend’s mum to offer a lift. But am I, unbeknown to me, actually being a CF?

[Aridane]

Snaps with @CAG12

[Redcherries]

Not a cf. I’m always dropping various teens off on our way, or if we pass them on the way into school we collect them. It’s just a nice thing to do for the teens and not anything that I give a thought about with regards parents.

[northerngirl2012]

I agree, more at this age its about the needs of the young person rather than the adults involved. I wouldn't worry, but might text the other parent and just say xx has mentioned you've been giving her a lift home, rather than her walking. Just saying thank you!

[Fuckenstein]

Not cheeky at all. I often drive DDs friend to school, I am going that way anyway and there is space in the car, it makes no sense to make her walk.

[InThisMultiverse]

The CF complains to friend’s mum that DC is brought home without having been provided with a snack for the car journey.

[user1480880826]

You’re not being cheeky. But the other mum is being seriously lazy if she’s driving that distance (unless it’s part of a longer journey)

[BillHadersNewWife]

I have a 15 year old DD and we're always carting her mates about and their parents cart her about. If someone sees a kid's going on the bus and they're getting their own child, it's accepted to collect them.

None of us are aware of it!

[Buddytheelf85]

I’d actually want my DD to walk that distance. But no I don’t think you’re being a CF.

[Redcherries]

I just picked up on it being a 15minute walk 😮 no way would battle school pick up parking for that!

[feebeecat]

I was that other mother - often picked up my dd, and her friend who lived two minutes further on from us. It never bothered me and I would pick them up as I was coming home from work myself, seemed odd to drive past them.
Only time I had an issue was once, during the winter months so it was actually dark, raining, horrible. I was stuck in traffic and got there later than usual and found my dd on her own. Other mother had picked up due to foul weather and left mine behind. Wasn't too impressed by that to be honest.
I wasn't doing it for thanks/presents/whatever, I did it just because my Dad always taught me it was a nice thing to offer, but I will add, it is nice when it's appreciated.

[RedskyLastNight]

Redcherries It's pick up after an after school club, so there is no school pick up parking traffic.
To be fair to the other girl, she lives further away than us - maybe 20 minutes walk or a bit longer?

Thanks for reassuring me I am not being a CF :)

[CardinalCat]

Putting myself into the shoes of the other mother, I would be mortified if you got me a gift for this- it would be so OTT! And I would also worry that, post-gift, I would be somehow beholden to continue doing it, even if it no longer suited me (e.g. my own daughter decided to no longer do the activity, or if we moved house or something). I really think you're hugely overthinking what is a very informal and common situation. I would leave it and next time I see the mum I'd thank her and leave it at that. No fuss, no strings, no sense of obligation.