Welfare check

[Louigoo]

Hi,
I posted the other day about my 3 year old little boy who was taken into hospital with severe constipation and that I had to “unblock him” at home which would take a build up of laxatives and other medicines. My advice was asking if I should send him to nursery as they seemed to think I was being stupid keeping him off.

Fast forward 3 days later- I have kept him off. I took in the hospital letter and explained again everything what was going on and once I reduced the levels of laxatives he would be back.
I have just getting a phone call from the nursery saying there is a guy coming out to do a welfare check on him and explained with everything in the press about kids being abused this is something they have to do. Which I totally get and I have no issue with my son being checked but I’m just wondering if this is standard procedure?

I’m quite an anxious person and tend to over think everything and I get the impression they seem to think I’m making a mountain out of a mole hill with comments such as “everyone goes to the loo, it’s life” “nursery is the best place for him and we can do exactly what you’re doing at home”.
And because I’ve refused to have my son be uncomfortable they are sending someone out. I just feel a bit hounded.

[Louigoo]

Thankyou for the advice! And il deffos try the strawberry’s and kiwis coz he loves them! I’ve found he’s eating a lot more now everything is starting to come away. (TMI sorry)

And surely I can’t be charged for the missed hours? I’m grateful for the free hours but him being poorly is out of my hands and il not be sending him back till I feel like he’s well enough. Surely the council have to understand that?

[IsobelRae23]

Probably because of the funding then. But still 🤷🏻‍♀️, but a shit (excuse the pun) way to go about it, it’s not as if you’ve just phoned and said he won’t be in for 3 weeks. I bet they have no idea how constipated he really is. Because they deal with babies all the time they know it all (no offence to those who work with babies), just like a nurse I once worked with, who would not believe a service user was as constipated as we said he was, until it came through his mouth. She swiftly changed her tune then.

[shearwater]

I can't imagine you will be billed for missing nursery due to illness. If you are, kick up a stink and don't pay. The welfare check will ascertain that he is genuinely ill and you will likely hear nothing more about it.

[WhatsMyPassword]

I have just getting a phone call from the nursery saying there is a guy coming out to do a welfare check on him and explained with everything in the press about kids being abused this is something they have to do.

rubbish - I'd be calling Child Safegaurding at the LA and asking for their policies

[tmh88]

Agree with @whatsmypassword is saying. Seems madness for them to visit after a hospital letter! Think some people get like a power trip from doing things like this. Hope your son is feeling better

[CaptainCallisto]

DS2 went to nursery using the 15 funded hours. He got appendicitis just after Christmas, spent nearly a month in hospital (due to complications after surgery) and then another two weeks at home before the GP cleared him to go back. We had to pay for the six weeks of missed hours, in spite of us providing the council with letters/surgical notes/discharge papers Coming after I'd had to take six unpaid weeks off work to care for him it absolutely crippled us!

[dollydaydream114]

Normal in the secondary school I worked in

Yes, but school is compulsory. Nursery isn't. The OP is under no obligation to send her child to any nursery at all and can keep her child at home whenever she wants for any reason she chooses.

If, as others have said, the check is related to the public funding of nursery places, that's fine, but the nursery should have explained that on the phone.

[StressyDressyHeels]

@CaptainCallisto that’s appalling!

[Louigoo]

@CaptainCallisto that is terrible 😭 hope your little one made a speedy recovery.

I’ve got nothing to hide so I’m going to let him come in the morning- not that I have a choice about it but I think I will be making a complaint.
Since my son started this nursery in January it’s been one think after another and I’m getting sick of it. X

[slipperywhensparticus]

Did he show up? (Nosey)

[EttyG]

I'm shocked at pp having to pay for missed funded hours. Is it because the nursery only get the funding from the LA if the child attends?

They don't tell you any of this when you apply for it!! DS2 has funding, so if i want to go on holiday next year in term time I'm going to get charged?!

I think it's even more appalling that parents are expected to pay when the child is off ill.

[CaptainCallisto]

We were told that there's a leeway, so you can miss up to x-amount of sessions (which apparently varies by LA). Once you've gone over that permissable number of sessions you have to pay for the full whack. Obviously six weeks off in one go took us over and they failed to give any kind of shit about the reason why

[Louigoo]

Hi!
Yes he came. He took one look at my son and said he had no concerns and it was the law that he had to do this. Then for the next 30 minutes continued to ramble about how nursery is the best place for him, the benefits of going and then listed off all the positives of it. All very strange considering he didn’t once ask about my sons well being or what they could do on their part to make this whole process easier. He then ended the visit with “I hope to see him on Monday or I will have to have another visit”.

I’m not sure if they have targets or whatever they have to hit regarding attendance but it seemed like it was for their benefit he was in nursery. Which he will be, but not till I’m comfortable enough with him going back.
Thankyou all for your replies, I’m very grateful xx

[OnlyFoolsnMothers]

I hope to see him on Monday or I will have to have another visit

I would be looking for another nursery!

[BlackeyedGruesome]

Is he hypermobile? Gut issues often come with that.

[BlackeyedGruesome]

Ps choose a different school. If he has a condition and they are a bit arsey about it them 7 years is an awful long time to put up with it.

[Embracelife]

If he has various issues make sure he is listed as having ing medical condition and get this recorded
Use the visit to show all medical letters and get medical needs plan in place
And any educational needs

[JoxerGoesToStuttgart]

I can’t believe he said that! This nursery needs some serious retraining! I would be making some phone calls to the local authority and then making an appointment with the nursery manager to complain.

[mankyfourthtoe]

Your local council will have an early years department who administer the grant. Ask them if it's relative to the welfare check.

Then ask to be put through to the welfare check department and ask what it is your supposed to be doing. He's not fit for nursery and you've provided medical evidence and it's not for their staff to say whether he's fit.

[Confrontayshunme]

Is his nursery just an independent one or is it attached to a local authority school? My DD went to a nursery attached to an infant school, and they were very clear that absences were reported just as if they were in reception. I still took DD out for holidays and things, but maybe that's why?

Also, the only time I heard of them doing a welfare check was a child whose mum kept taking him to hospital for all these invasive procedures and telling people how ill he was, and it turned out that she was making it all up (Munchausen by proxy or whatever it is called now). That little boy needed a welfare check and thankfully she got the help she needed, but she did tell everyone who would listen that he was unable to eat without a feeding tube, and it wasn't until school caught him scoffing Christmas chocolate and he was fine that they realised.

[Littlemeadow123]

"I hope to see him on Monday or I will have to have another visit"

Make a complaint against this man as this is harrassment and bullying. Welfare visits are supposed to be for checking on the welfare of children, not for blackmailing parents into sending their children to noncompulsory nursery.

Its no wonder that cases of neglect get missed when welfare people are wasting their time on situations like this.

You are his mother, its up to you to decide where the best place doe him is, whether that is at home with you or at nursery. You are well within your rights to withdraw him from that nursery and not ever send him back.

[MotherofDinosaurs]

OP you won't be charged for missed hours, that is total nonsense. I don't know why people just make up stuff like this. Please don't be browbeaten by your nursery like this. You are doing exactly the right thing by keeping him at home.

[MotherofDinosaurs]

Just to clarify, your nursery will submit a claim for your 15 hours via a funding portal at the beginning of each term. If you have missed a ver significant number, there is an adjustment period at the end of term when they can amend their submission. So there's no reason for them to charge you.

[fargo123]

There's no way in hell my child would be returning to that nursery. Daycare isn't the slightest bit compulsory and for this place to behave the way they have is beyond reprehensible.

He then ended the visit with “I hope to see him on Monday or I will have to have another visit
He's threatening and intimidating you. I'd definitely be putting in a complaint about that.

[CaptainCallisto]

MotherOfDinosaurs I'm not making it up. In March of 2013 we received a bill, from the council, for the funded hours that DS2 missed whilst in hospital. We went in, gave them plenty of evidence that he'd been ill, and were told that he would not be allowed to return to nursery until we had paid as we had gone over the permitted absence period.