I'm bored of all my mum friends

[RainbowGlitter]

I've got my judgy pants pulled right up high at the moment.
I'm bored of their petty squabbles, their one-upmanship and the unrelenting dullness of their Fatface clothing.
I like their children, most of the time, and I need the reassurance that all our kids are heading in the right direction when I have a wobble.

So should i drop the friendships that are really just due to having kids at the same time.

the unrelenting dullness of their Fatface clothing

So you’re in Surrey, right

Is the competitive stuff something that happens as your kids get older? DD1 has just finished reception, I’ve done the school run every single day and despite talking to all sorts of different people I have no idea what reading level their child is on and they have no idea what mine is on! I can’t even see how that conversation would arise.

Designate yourself scholastic Switzerland 🇨🇭 let them exhaust themselves with it.

Yabu
Bored with not of

My youngest is going into year 6 in September and I won’t be sad to see the back of the primary school. I avoid it as much as I can already.

Some of the parents there are just awful. Stereotypical middle class mummies, with nothing better to do than form cliques and bitch about others; kids, teachers and parents alike. They’re in a constant battle over who has the smartest kid/best clothes/car/holiday/blah blah blah. Ooh! They make me want to vomit!

I would drop the WhatsApp group and any other social media where you can see the nonsense.

@RainbowGlitter It's bored 'with' by the way. Just returning your judgy-ness.

I think the friends you make when they are little is necessary, especially if you live in a village. They are your support through lots of things, but by the end of Year 6 it can feel completely suffocating. I only see about 3 of those mums now my boys are in L6 and Yr8 and I didn't bother making actual "friends" with the senior parents, as I don't need any more, just people you see and chat with at the side of the rugby field or whatever!

Use the summer holidays to cool off with these people a bit. Go on holiday, see other people from your past, spend time with your kids on your own. It'll make you feel better about September that way.

I have a really low threshold for this too and the early years are the worst.

I think it's important to keep 'mum friends' in perspective. In the end, you're not friends with these people because you had an entirely free choice of who to be friends with, you're 'friends' with them because they happened to give birth in the same geographical area at the same time as you and thus your DC have ended up in the same class as one another. When I've got fed up of the petty squabbles and boring conversations among playground mums remembering this has helped me to smile and keep things in perspective. Go out for an evening with a really good, old friend who you've known and liked forever and have lots in common with - that will remind you who you choose to be friends with and make time for.

I don’t blame you, I have friends that have been very good friends at some times and dreadful to deal with at some others. I would say, make yourself a bit scarce, concentrate in the good times, don’t meet them so often until the “phase” has passed.

I have distanced myself a bit when my SAHMs friends top topic was gossiping about the marriage of the men who collected the laundry (that lasted for a good few months). From the good friend who climbed her self made pedestal and refused to climb down, from the one who enjoyed telling me so many times about how popular her kid was when mine was not getting any invites, or the one who pointed out she had taught her girl to spell in six languages when she knew how much we were struggling with dyslexia.

I have survived well away from them and still enjoy meeting them from time to time, they are perfectly ok in small doses and I suspect they think the same of me.

JinglingHellsBells bugger, lost the ability to write proper, this thread will get deleted for sure.

P.S. You're spot on with fugly, mumsy Fat Face!

If your children are in exam years, then you don't need to be friends with their friends' parents to facilitate your children's friendships. So feel free to drop the friendships, surely?

hhhmmm, is it just me who would love some mum friends? I just haven't managed to make any!

I work full time though, and most of them don't, and they are forever going for coffees, dinners even week ends away, the are perfectly friendly to me when I am around, but I am not in the "group", mind you, I wouldn't want to be in the group as such, but some mum friends would be nice!

The only mum friends I have are the ones that were already my friends, and then stayed friends when we had kids

After my first, I decided to stop trying to be friends with people simply because they had children the same age.

Still had kids round for tea and all that and was always pleasant to other parents. But didnt yet and become friends for friendships sake.

My friends are my friends. My best friend also happens to be a mother. But we are friends because we get on.

Sorry pressed post too soon.

If these people are only friends because your kids are the same age or friends, take a step back. You arent obliged to be friends with them

**I love the way “get a job” is the answer to everything on MN.

Difficult, high needs baby? Get a job.
Irritated by “mum friends”? Get a job.
Persistent rash on left arm? Get a job.**

That made me laugh. I have a difficult baby and I’m really looking forward to the end of my maternity 😂

I've a year 10, a year 7 and a year 5 so 15, 12 & 10.
I do value how much everyone clearly cares for their kids and how protective they are but it does seem to tip too far sometimes.

I've not felt the need to get tutors or do excessive amounts of after school stuff but my friend's / peers are keen to justify their decision making process and I don't think they should. I'm really not interested and I'd rather talk about the book we were supposed to read in bookclub or who's been where and seen what.

I have friends that I’d not have spoken to without the child connection , who are fabulous fallible human beings who I’ve belly laughed with and whinged to . There’s another group who are acquaintances . Perhaps you’ve confused the two. Regardless a 6 week summer holiday will help !

Are they really friends?

More like close aquaintnces

I've gone out of my way to not make mum friends I sit in my car until the kids come out, then put my sunglasses on and charge through the crowd. Sitting around with a load of other mums talking about their kids who I dont care about sounds like my idea of hell.

So you have had one at primary for years and years OP? Maybe you have just had enough of it. Not long to go now, just year 6.

*Mintysmoons
My youngest is going into year 6 in September and I won’t be sad to see the back of the primary school. I avoid it as much as I can already.

Some of the parents there are just awful. Stereotypical middle class mummies, with nothing better to do than form cliques and bitch about others; kids, teachers and parents alike. They’re in a constant battle over who has the smartest kid/best clothes/car/holiday/blah blah blah. Ooh! They make me want to vomit!*

I can just imagine. I would have hated to be a stereotypical middle class mummy with nothing much to talk about except '...bitch about others; kids, teachers and parents alike'.

There were times when I wondered if I was 'odd' in some way but of course I'm not, I'm just me. We can't all like, or be comfortable with, the same things. I enjoyed going to work, part time at first, gradually increasing my hours; it was interesting and I met a good cross section of people, some of whom became good friends.

What makes you interesting?

I agree with Fatface, although I do have a size 12 FF hoodie that was baggy even at 8 months pregnant.

Well shit. I rather like the fat face jumpsuit thingy I'm wearing today.