We're they both U?

[TheMobileSiteMadeMeSignup]

This is more to get opinions as I think possibly both were BU.

Person 1 decides to clear some stuff into the loft while Person 2 is busy fixing stuff in the loft. Usually stuff gets dumped in a bundle to go into loft at later time but seemed easier since loft was open.
Person 1 starts putting stuff up beside loft opening, person 2 says can you do that later.
1: I'm putting it there so I can then come up and put it away.
2: I need that space there in a minute.
1: I'm just going to move it when I get up into the loft. (was in process of coming up into loft)
2: Do you even know where it goes?!
1: points in vague direction
2: No! Can you take it back down cos I need the space!
1: then I'll put it over there (different bit of loft away from hatch and wrong place) and sort it later
2: shouting can you just put it back downstairs and deal with it later?!??
Person 1 moves stuff downstairs again and goes off to do the thing they were clearing space for.

Person 2 now downstairs and finished in loft restarts conversation saying sorry I shouted at you but I'd asked you 3 times to not put the stuff there and you weren't listening. Person 1 repeats assertion that stuff was going to be moved and there was no need to shout. Person 2 now says they are sick of not being listened to and Person 1 and DD need to actually listen (DD is 6 and tends to zone out of anything she deems boring as 6yos are prone to do) and do as they say. 1 pointed out that they could try the "what I say goes" route and see where that gets them. 2 slightly retracted and said how it's about respect. Then left for work.

Person 2 is prone to shouting when stressed, person 1 tends to ignore it to a point unless DD is around in which case challenges it as unacceptable.

dons all protective gear thoughts?

[onalongsabbatical]

Well, hang on a minute. Let's just substitute 'loft' for 'room'. So because person 2 is doing something in this room, person 1 isn't allowed in at all EVEN IF THEY ARE GOING TO KEEP OUT OF THE WAY?
Because it's a loft this is now acceptable?

[purplecatt]

Err no I don't think yabu at all. You weren't affecting him by being in the room.

Don't apologise, particularly after he's shouted at you and tried to put you in your place. The way he spoke to you was unacceptable.

[Antigon]

I didn't say because I didn't want a pile on of it being DH shouting and a load of "man shout, ltb" or anything.

So instead people said Person 2 shouldn't shout. Not sure how that's different.

It's clear you want to live with the shouting, and he is now going to start on your dd (saying she needs to listen). But you don't want to hear that.

[pigeonscooing]

Person 1 was being U.

[AphidEater]

Person 1 was being a total pain in the arse and shouldn’t have antagonised person 2 to the point where they inevitably snapped.

[GnomeDePlume]

onalongsabbatical I think a loft is different in that the floor space is often cluttered, lighting may be poor and height restricted plus there is an open hatch in the floor. All too easy to get distracted while ducking to avoid roof timber etc and trip over the items which weren't there when the person went up into the loft.

[Stompythedinosaur]

Person 1 was being unreasonable. It is unreasonable to start putting items in the loft while the other person is fixing things.

I didn't like person 2's comment about person 1 doing what they are told, though.

[RedSheep73]

I think person 2 was asking for trouble tbh. If I was to interfere while dh was busy (not possible in our loft as it's so small!) I would get an earful. Same if he disturbed what I was doing and didn't listen when I asked him to stop.

[WhenISnappedAndFarted]

Person 1 was being UR