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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Rude children at school pick up

63 replies

Home77 · 30/03/2019 09:02

Yesterday, picking up DS from primary school and was sitting on the grass while the children all played in the little park next to school. Some little boys around 6-7 I think were playing with a ball and kicked it and hit me...(was not right in the football area) anyway, I was a bit cross that they didn't say sorry just came and got the ball. Then one of them laughed with his friends and said "You look like a witch"!

AIBU or was that very rude?

OP posts:

missyB1 · 30/03/2019 17:14

Rude little brats. The trouble is lots of parents think it’s oh so hilarious when their kids make rude personal remarks about people. The kids then think they are funny and clever.

ShawshanksRedemption · 30/03/2019 17:21

@ThisMustBeMyDream

I'd understand that if the OP was wearing black, had black hair and may have resembled what a child thinks of as a witch.

However, if the OP doesn't and the child was saying it just to be mean, then that's a different story.

It's all about intention.

ShawshanksRedemption · 30/03/2019 17:25

I too work in a primary school, and have had some choice language thrown at me, usually in anger after I have sanctioned a child for their behaviour. It's not personal, it's part of my job. When the child has calmed down and ready to talk it through, they may not remember what they said, and pretty much all of them have apologised.

Being deliberately unkind though (to get laughs or put someone down) get's short shrift from me.

duckduckgoose2 · 30/03/2019 17:28

You should have asked where their mums were and said something - my dd poked her tongue out and made a horrible face at a driver, I didn’t see as I was in front and I was glad he stopped the car and said.

The mums might not have sided with you there and then but something might’ve been said later.

Rude kids are everywhere - gangs of kids shoving around the buggy. I had some 12 year old exclaiming as he shoved past the buggy and nearly ended in the road - that’s what hard stares were invented for.

WhatWouldDavinaDo · 30/03/2019 17:30

I would ignore & rise above.

It did make me smile yesterday when a little kid (shit) in my road ran up to me with a gun, pointed it at me shouting bang, bang - then when I opened the door, one of my dogs ran out & he absolutely crapped himself.

Instant karma! The dog completely ignored the kid, it was just the sight of DD that made the kid turn on his heels.

ThisMustBeMyDream · 30/03/2019 18:49

@ShawshanksRedemption

"@ThisMustBeMyDream

I'd understand that if the OP was wearing black, had black hair and may have resembled what a child thinks of as a witch.

However, if the OP doesn't and the child was saying it just to be mean, then that's a different story.

It's all about intention."

Don't think you understoodmy post. Children (like my DS) with autism/ADHD will say lots of things (that may or may not be true) without any filter, and without any intention. They simply say things without thinking.

I wanted to get across that children can say what would be considered rude or unkind things through no fault of theirs or their parents.

I have lots of instances where my DS has said something that others have considered unpolite etc and it makes going out in public stressful and upsetting for us as a family. However I can't lock us all away forever. Every interaction that goes awry is addressed and used as a teaching opportunity.

If you want further explanation of autism and ADHD I am happy to explain how it affects social behaviours.

ShawshanksRedemption · 30/03/2019 19:36

@ThisMustBeMyDream I have a DC with ASD and work with children with ASD and ADHD so I'm quite familiar with how it affects social behaviour.

Of course words can come out unfiltered and also in frustration and anger, but IME they are still kids who even though they have these conditions, can still say words where they intend to hurt someone else and be unkind.

ThisMustBeMyDream · 30/03/2019 19:54

The majority of time, those kind of comments are not intended in that way. It is obvious (as a parent) which behaviours are due to impaired social skills and which are just kids being dicks...

ThisMustBeMyDream · 30/03/2019 19:55

(Because of course kids can still be dicks, as can adults!)

WhentheRabbitsWentWild · 31/03/2019 10:05

@Hugo . I know , lollll I comfort myself in knowing I do not have an unnatural wide mouth or bug eyes

Original poster

Home77 · 31/03/2019 10:22

I don't wear black, I have brown hair and wearing jeans and a T shirt...well they were doing it to make their friends laugh as were looking at friends as they said it then they all started laughing. They can be cheeky little kids at that school sometimes- i have been surprised at some of the behaviour.

OP posts:

WhentheRabbitsWentWild · 31/03/2019 16:17

Are you a sensitive soul OP ? Meant in a kindly fashion . Are you a little depressed ? Not saying you are but just asking

It would have once bothered me a lot, OP, I used to take a lot personally but was diagnosed with depression and anxiety (though I am not anxious, in my opinion but there you go) but they were trying to look funny in front of friends is all . No harm meant I am sure.

bookmum08 · 31/03/2019 16:23

You should of said "well yes I am and if you don't say sorry for hitting me with your ball I will turn you all into toads" and grin. It's not really very polite of the children but kids do say daft things. Maybe their teacher has been reading them Roald Dahl's The Witches and they have been asking everyone they see.

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