Bf rates uk vs us

[Silkyanduna]

Just found out my American sil is expecting and she said they only get 6 weeks maternity and that’s pretty standard for the US. This made me think how much I would have struggled to breastfeed past this point if I had had to go back to work. With the uk in comparison having pretty good maternity leave AIBU to question why the Uk breastfeeding % is lower than in the US ?

[Intohellbutstayingstrong]

Besides the health benefits many women who fail to breastfeed are devastated by this

And why do you think that is?
Because they feel they are somehow 'failing' their baby. They feel like a 'failure' as a mother right at the start of their parenting journey; because it is rammed down people's throats that breast is best and FF may as well be poison.
I had to listen to a woman while sat waiting in a baby check clinic that she would rather her baby starve than give it formula. It is this mentality that is pushing women to the brink because for whatever reason BF is just not going to happen. I was also one of those women.
If someone confided in me that they were having a shit time of it BF I would actively encourage them to FF. I have no issue with that at all

[FluffyHeadbands]

It's my view on an anonymous parenting website! Those who don't want to at least try BFing should, IMO, be supported and encouraged. If there are genuine reasons why they can't, then fine, FF.

Most UK women say they want to BF but our rates are abysmal. So money needs to go into support. And I play my small part by being a peer supporter but in my group we welcome everyone and I am not judgmental in real life.

But privately I think it's sad when women give up through lack of support or yes, don't want to even try.

[ethelfleda]

intohell
I think you’re being a little over the top. Nobody rams the breast is message down anyone’s throat. Nobody says formula is poison.
You have to remember that the NHS is a business. They spend money on promoting the breast is best message for the same reason they promote 5 a day or regular exercise - because over a whole population it means healthier people. Which saves them money. Nobody is saying that not eating 5 portions of fruit of veg is going to kill you, nor do they say nothing bad will happen if you do. It’s just fact that it makes a population, on the whole, healthier.
They wouldn’t spend money out of their limited budget promoting this message if it wasn’t true. Not every breastfeeding mother is militant about it! Just like not every ff mother thinks breastfeeding is the wrong way either.

[AssassinatedBeauty]

Does the US have the same issue around formula being seen as no better than poison?

[Intohellbutstayingstrong]

They spend money on promoting the breast is best message for the same reason they promote 5 a day or regular exercise

I dont think anyone feels 'devastated' or a 'failure' if they are not eating 5 portions of fruit and veg a day.

[Intohellbutstayingstrong]

Nobody says formula is poison

I think you missed my point here as you well know.

[le42]

Out of curiosity what is the BF support like in other countries that have similar societal / health / culture to the U.K but higher BF I’m thinking France, Germany, Netherlands and US? Just wondering if anything can be learnt from how they support mums?

[SnuggyBuggy]

Biologically breast is best, it contains more beneficial stuff than formula, why can't we be honest about that? I mean women have the right to choose whether to breastfeed or not but like all choices it should be an informed one. I don't agree with calling formula poison but let's not pretend it's the same.

Women who feel like they have "failed at breastfeeding" are being failed, this isn't happening as often to women in other cultures, why shouldn't we ask why? Why shouldn't we want better?

[OakFramer]

but as a society we should be asking why so many in the UK are unable to breastfeed compared with other countries.

Why?

Why anyone cares how someone else wants to feed their baby is beyond me.

I had to listen to a woman while sat waiting in a baby check clinic that she would rather her baby starve than give it formula.

My MIL did this. Starved her baby because BF was rammed down her throat as the only way. SIL was hospitalised.

[OakFramer]

Nobody rams the breast is message down anyone’s throat. Nobody says formula is poison.

Yeah they do. Some people are militant about BF, without thinking about reasons why.

[ethelfleda]

dont think anyone feels 'devastated' or a 'failure' if they are not eating 5 portions of fruit and veg a day

Maybe not. But many people feel offended if someone says they’re unhealthy in some way. Does that mean the NHS should stop promoting health benefits of certain lifestyle choices? In case they offend people?
I’m sorry women feel that way, they really really shouldn’t. But it does not mean that breast is best ceases to be a fact. Science is unbiased and people’s personal feelings absolutely cannot stand in the way of getting messages like this out there.

[SnuggyBuggy]

I think there is more to life than just looking at our own immediate interests. Personally I give a shit about women who want to breastfeed being let down.

[NewAccount270219]

My MIL did this. Starved her baby because BF was rammed down her throat as the only way. SIL was hospitalised.

I think 'starved her baby' is a needlessly horrible and accusatory way of putting it. 'Persisted with trying to breastfeed when it wasn't working and, in hindsight, wasn't allowing the baby to thrive'.

[OakFramer]

What would help is if people stop saying failed/failure. BF didn't work, so support the mother, not make her feel shit.

[OakFramer]

I think 'starved her baby' is a needlessly horrible and accusatory way of putting it. 'Persisted with trying to breastfeed when it wasn't working and, in hindsight, wasn't allowing the baby to thrive'.

It's what MIL says. She starved her baby because people told her BF was the only way. Her words, not mine.

[SnuggyBuggy]

The mother's themselves often seem to be the ones using the word failed. The way we ram home breast is best but don't do enough to support women struggling to breastfeed encourages women to feel this way.

We need to reframe the narrative as them being failed and ask ourselves why this is happening so often here and what we can learn from other countries where it doesn't happen so often.

[ethelfleda]

What would help is if people stop saying failed/failure. BF didn't work, so support the mother, not make her feel shit

I 100% agree

[Silkyanduna]

Thanks for the replies it has been really insightful - the posters from the US in particular that gave first hand experience.

I didn’t realise there was such a difference in maternity leave in different states. Makes me feel lucky that the uk has such good maternity and I got to spend as much time as I did with my dc.

To poster - that are saying why do I care what other people do. I dint care what other people do it’s up to anyone his they feed there child - I personally was dead set against breastfeeding till I had my first (now been feeding for 3years) but was interested that something you would persume would help breast feeding- being with baby longer is clearly not the case and was interested why this was the case.

[Roxyxoxo]

Eurgh, my milk didn’t come in as my care whilst in labour was terrible and they missed something which meant I needed emergency surgery and lost a ridiculous amount of blood and my milk was delayed coming in. In hospital there was no support unless you wanted/could breastfeed, in subsequent appointments no support for formula feeding and have had it referred to as artificial feeding, second best and no one needs support as it’s the easy way out; which when you have been made to feel guilty for your body not working as it should and like you are depriving/harming your baby is not helpful. By all means educate women on the benefits of breastfeeding, but don’t bloody make them feel guilty and effectively abandon them support wise if they can’t or choose not to!

[Roxyxoxo]

Sorry for the rant

[orangejuiced]

BF is better for mothers and babies and is the natural progression for both after the baby is born.

Some people can't or don't want to bf, it's not an issue, formula is a substitute. I'm happy to hear the truth though that bf is better, formula companies would love to lie and tell us the opposite, like they did in less developed countries.

[le42]

I think the experience varies so greatly hospital to hospital and mum to mum but in my case.... I lost 1.7litres of blood in the hospital and my body just didn’t produce colostrum. I had about 5 midwives try to hand express to get it going (so painful might I add) but I produced like a few drops. My baby lost a lot of weight in the first few days and we were repeatedly given formula to give him.

I constantly expressed a strong desire to BF and though the midwives were verbally supportive, practically speaking they would come and try to get a latch for about 1 minute then give up and leave me with the formula.

I kept expressing to build up the supply, it was so so painful but eventually my milk came in strong supply, by that point the latch was proving very difficult so my saviour was nipple shields.

Fast forward 2 months and BF is going really well but I’d certainly say my experience was lots of BF support in theory but practically speaking not a lot and very quick to give us formula as if to shut me up.

[Tinyteatime]

Why do people care about the U.K. breastfeeding rates?

Because, unless women are lying about it around 80% want to breastfeed and start out. Why wouldn’t they? It’s free, biologically normal and there are benefits to both mother and baby. I read an article that had a bit of a different take on it the other day which was interesting. Breastfeeding is the biologically normal function for breasts and most women expect (unless you have a pre existing condition that you know of) them to work.

theconversation.com/breastfeeding-isnt-just-about-the-baby-womens-bodies-matter-too-112901?fbclid=IwAR3dRbTvsywTHjAdKsLn4yKXPPBzuXqrgFkQ-p-X2QW15ZwD-wmTeKKYXNA

[Natsku]

Out of curiosity what is the BF support like in other countries that have similar societal / health / culture to the U.K but higher BF I’m thinking France, Germany, Netherlands and US? Just wondering if anything can be learnt from how they support mums?

Well here in Finland there was a lot of support in the hospital after giving birth. We stay for longer, 2 days minimum generally, I stayed for longer each time because breastfeeding wasn't going well so they kept me in until it was going better and my babies were gaining weight again (post-natal wards were nice, two beds to a room, with my youngest my OH stayed in the other bed). With my youngest there were no bottles used in the hospital, when he needed top ups (which was donor milk rather than formula. I assume I could have asked for formula instead but I was fine with the donor milk. My oldest had to have top ups too but back then they gave it in a bottle which made things more difficult) we were shown how to give it with a medicine syringe. Basically they put a lot of effort into not scuppering breastfeeding from the start.

But I do wonder about the exclusive breastfeeding rates - I had to give formula top ups over the first weekend home but I was back to exclusive breastfeeding by the monday when I took him to be weighed and the midwife ticked the exclusive breastfeeding box even though he hadn't been exclusively breastfed.

[SnuggyBuggy]

I've read so much about horrible postnatal wards. I spent a lot of those early days topless and sobbing and having to do that on a shared ward may well have been the thing that caused me to sack off breastfeeding.