To think I'll always be a fatty

[foreverfat]

I really do want to be told to sort myself out
I lost 3 stones on 2017 have regained the lot
Was so so hard to shift the Weight but so si easy to regain it
Feel like a lifetime of hating myself and starving then binging is impossible to reconcile
I have a good husband job kids bit can only think k about weight and what I'm going to eat or drink or not eat or drink.
I have a friend and all we ever talk about is weight
Slimming groups seem to perpetuate things.any ideas how can I actually change
I really do not want diabetes or weight related cancers but cannot see a way out of this

Also Stevie multiple studies have been done concluding people in the 'overweight' category live longer healthier lives than those in other categories. I think BMI is a crock of sh!t, but putting it in to terms people will readily accept is helpful for this argument.

I'm not here to provide scientific facts just relief from negative body image and being a slave to diet culture. Google will give you everything you need if you want to research further!

The use of the word diet here is missleading, your 'diet' is what you eat everyday, nothing more. If you want to lose weight you need to change what you eat, and accept that you might not actually be able to eat what you want all the time, even most of the time and that it might be hard work. If you want to be thin more than you want eat whatever you want then it will work.

Be kind to yourself. You need to be in a good place mentally to lose weight. Think of it as healthy eating not a diet. Do not feel guilty for taking time to yourself to exercise.
I’ve been overweight for years.
Leaving my stressful job has been a life changer for me. A real you only get one shot at this life type of thing.
Since January I’ve lost 2 stone in 10 weeks on SlimmingWorld. It’s criticised on MN but I’m doing it as healthy eating plan - lots of protein fruit and veg, no mugshots or mueller lights.
I’m also swimming and generally taking more time for me.

Another one advocating exercise. My weight has been a massive struggle, but I've found since I started building/training muscle with weights and vinyasa yoga it's changed my body shape and boosted both my metabolism and mood in a way cardio didn't. My weight is higher than ideal but body shape closer to what I like than when it was lower.

The other thing I found useful was filling half my plate with veg, then adding a wee bit of protein and a wee bit of carbs, concentrating on eating whole foods that I love instead of cardboard crap that makes me feel cheated!

*This is why I tend to advocate exercise over diets.

Someone will be along to tell you that you can't outrun your fork.

I say bollocks.*

You can say what you want, doesn't make it right though. For your average working person, with a busy life, the amount of exercise needed to 'outrun' a bad diet isn't achievable.

Sort your diet out, use the exercise as the icing on the cake (keeping it topical).

Oh, and do not 'eat back' your exercise calories.

Stevie She said a lifetime of hating herself.

Yes, I know. However she did not say that she measured her worth by her looks: they were your words.

I used to think this way. I was just getting fatter and fatter and trying to love myself and dress well regardless. And then I just got sick and tired of getting out of puff going up some stairs.

I gradually overhauled my entire lifestyle. Not as a temporary fix, but changing the whole shape of my life: the way I thought about food and exercise and everything.

So my message is it can be done. I lost a third of my body weight. I went from 15 stone and size 20 to 10 stone and size 10. I also finally got the gym bug and the endorphin rush other people talk about. I am amazingly fit now. I can’t believe I am this person.

So yes, it can be done. People do it. Quite a lot of them actually. It takes work. But It’s possible.

Personally I like going to a slimming group. Makes me realise I’m not alone. I’ve bumped into people I’ve not seen for years and had some lovely conversations. Sat next to a lady this week who has lost 8 stone since April 2018. So inspiring. She was talking about having a PT and it made me think yes I could go to the gym after all.

Also Stevie multiple studies have been done concluding people in the 'overweight' category live longer healthier lives than those in other categories. I think BMI is a crock of sh!t, but putting it in to terms people will readily accept is helpful for this argument.

Great. Then what are we all worrying about? Let's just overeat ourselves healthy

Could you and a friend go for a walk a few evenings a week then build from that? Shift the focus from what you're eating to getting more active. Hopefully this will boost your confidence and healthier eating habits may follow.

Stevie

Now who's inferring?

I find being accountable to someone really helpful. I scrapped the gym membership and decided to use the money instead to get a personal trainer. He comes to my house once a week during my DS's nap time. He sets me exercises to do throughout the week (mostly HIIT style, and stuff I can do with bodyweight and one kettlebell) and asks me weekly how my eating is going. He tailors it to me and my needs and goals. Probably a bit more expensive than the gym (£25 per week) but money well spent for me.

This is the thing that people don't realise is so very hard about losing the weight..it's not necessarily the weight loss itself, but the lifetime of vigilance required not to regain. It's not something I have every managed (the 2nd bit). Trying to accept myself instead..but the world is not a kind place.

I wouldn't be able to handle "being on a diet" and restricting myself every day. I have generally decent habits (shame about Christmas and Easter) and can handle 5:2 with an isolated day at a time and defer what I desire until the next day, by which point the feeling has passed. Much easier than a long term sense of deprivation which can lead to a rebound binge. Life happens which is where I sneak a pound here and a pound there, so I'm using the 5:2 to compensate for those occasions and phases where I consume more than I burn.

My Fitness Pal is a great app. The hard bit is being ruthlessly honest, not letting a bit of this slip past and getting the portion size right. It's a good tool to assess what you are actually taking in and seeing what you can reasonably adjust (food choice, portion size). It is helpful to think of food in terms of its nutritional content. Is a meal balanced. Is the fat content of the avocado better than the donut. Has a meal got a range of protein, carbs and veg?

Exercise is great for boosting metabolism and feeling good. It buys some extra calories, but not that many. It grieves me that a pack of mince pies is the same calories as a Half Marathon, because it does not take me over two hours to scoff 6 mince pies It does however on average boost me by a couple of hundred valuable calories per day (which being a short food lover really matters!

Assess your current habits. What is good, what needs tweaking? Over time, amend them, reduce portions, be more selective. It can be done without a "diet" but it will need a lot of patience, but that way the results will last.

People that do make the difference long term are those who change habits and don't feel deprived along the way. It can be done

I’m another one who doesn’t like ‘diets’, including calorie counting. I am doing something at the moment where I try to change one habit at a time. So pick something that you think needs work; maybe no alcohol in the week, or finding time to do some exercise. Change one habit and I genuinely think the rest falls into place eventually. You won’t fancy a plate of chips before a dance class etc.

Now who's inferring?

Sorry, you've lost me there. Who's inferring? And what are they inferring?

OP i am like you and it isnt as simple as calories in/calories out, particularly if you've been bingeing and starving as the body panics to make best use of binge calories. My doctors BANGED ON about me eating too many calories and not getting enough exercise (lol, done 8hrs+/day manual work most of my life!) and when i finally started logging calories i was averaging 400/day when i needed 2800 for my workload so they were

I now have to really fight my urge to restrict and count calories and obsess over everything that goes in my mouth and its a constant battle.

I find lack of stress and plenty of sleep help me lose weight.

I'm agreed with those who say it's a lifestyle overhaul. I've just joined SW and to start am writing down everything I eat - bloody hell I was fooling myself before! I thought I ate well but I eat too much, and not enough filling foods ( I get hangry!). I'm not dieting but using SW online is helping me set goals and feel accountable while making healthier food choices cos I'm avoiding too many bloody 'syns'.
Don't lose heart - focus on health and not weight. Get that good food in you, avoid ANYTHING processed including 'healthy' low fat meals.
I've taken up a sport - it's really helped as I'm cutting down on alcohol so I have energy to do it, sleeping better as I'm physically tired more during the week ( but in a good way) and it's given me time to myself that isn't work and isn't family.
can you carve some time out for yourself with a hobby/sport to take the pressure off?

There 's plenty of valid views on here. But the idea that overweight people live longer and healthier lives doesn't seem to be garnering much support

it was pretty obvious.

OP -not here to argue, sorry for hijacking. genuinely just offering help to overcome something that I have struggled with myself for years that I know can ruin a person's mental (and physical) health. If you did want any more info about what I mentioned upthread please feel free to pm me

I think that looking for a diet option is looking for a quick fix. Just make healthy little changes.
For example bin fizzy drink massive change in calorie intake. Drink more water helps the body function better. Start one exercise class yoga or Pilates.
Go to your class and go get a pedicure or something nice afterwards.
Stop overthinking everything you have one life. Loose weight gradually and safety and enjoy doing it! Please don’t make yourself ill over it!

I mean statistically yes, it is very unlikely you will lose lots of weight and keep it off forever. I'm fat and would like to not be. I don't know what the answer is really.

I think is something in the whole slightly overweight people live longer and healthier thing; BUT, my understanding is that it is a bmi of around 26, so very slightly overweight AND that’s only when you hit 60. Before that, I think the ideal is usually around 22-23. Or so I was told by a doctor friend.

But I also believe it’s a pretty blunt instrument. Obviously someone who maintains a healthy weight but also smokes a lot, drinks a lot and takes a lot of drugs won’t be as healthy as a slightly overweight person who has a healthy lifestyle otherwise.

Also there are the Jonny Wilkinsons and Brian O’Driscolls of the world, who are technically obese but because of being very muscular.

But most people aren’t Jonny Wilkinson...