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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

2 year old having cup of tea at nursery

363 replies

Pumpkinsoup22 · 02/03/2019 09:46

My dshas just moved out of baby room. When I collected him the other day was told he'd just had a cup of tea and biscuit. I assumed they were role playing and really meant water or milk. However the staff member said no real tea. AIBU to think this isn't really appropriate for 2 year olds.? Before this I've never had any concerns at all with the nursery.

OP posts:
Ali1cedowntherabbithole · 03/03/2019 22:11

daily biscuits isn’t good considering that they will already be having puddings.

They are toddlers. Biscuits at snack time is a) normal and b) fine within a balanced dirt.

Tea is unusual at nursery, but if it's weak, milky and sugar free I'm failing to see a problem.

It is not likely to be given in a strength or quantity to affect calcium or iron absorption. Nor will it contain significant caffeine.

ferrier · 03/03/2019 22:28

Milk is good but full cream milk is full of lactose and calories.

Full cream milk is perfect for two year olds (assuming they don't have a lactose intolerance.). Calories are good.

Boobiliboobiliboo · 03/03/2019 22:33

Full fat milk has the least lactose of all the kinds of milk.

howmanybiscuits · 03/03/2019 23:34

they did tell her tho

No they didn't. Pumpkin says in her subsequent posts they've been giving her child tea regularly without telling her. She just found out now. That's not keeping her informed. Their food policy says only milk and water.

howmanybiscuits · 03/03/2019 23:37

daily biscuits isn’t good considering that they will already be having puddings

Not ideal, no, because of sugar. But the health merits of other foods are neither here nor there. Caffeine is not a food, but a stimulant drug and is not advised for young children.

Parents can choose to give it to their kids if they like, but a nursery has no business making that kind of decision for a child without consulting the parent.

MummasTheWord · 03/03/2019 23:46

Official NHS guidelines are that young children should not have tea due to caffeine, although I had it in a bottle occasionally at my Irish grandmother’s house, I would not give it to my toddler...if parents choose to that is their decision (it is not like something that is proven particularly harmful in small doses or anything!) - but a child carer should not unless the parents have given permission, I am sure Ofsted would agree.

Catsinthecupboard · 04/03/2019 03:31

Probably stupid and off topic but when my db was about 5, my dm gave him tea and hr tipped it into his lap.

He had to go to emergency. I have no idea abt injury, really, bc it was on his "privates," however, he wore my robe for a few days and our vacation was cancelled.

I was very careful to only give my dc TEPID tea or hot chocolate.

whodidapoopoointhebath · 04/03/2019 07:44

I think it’s a generation thing. My mum has mentioned quite a few times how much we liked tea when we were little and had it in bottles! We don’t give our 2 year old tea although we’ve let her have a little taste and I wouldn’t expect the childminder to. I offer her warm milk but most of the time she wants cold milk anyway. Not really relevant but we also don’t give her squash or fizzy drinks, she’s happy with water.

LaurieMarlow · 04/03/2019 08:16

an addictive stimulant every day

You could say the same about sugar, yet I don’t see too many sugar free nursery’s out there.

It's not just about the tea though. It's about trust in their competence.

If there are other issues, then respond to those issues. But moving a settled child is a huge deal and I would judge a parent doing it if there’s nothing more going on than what’s outlined in the OP.

‘But it’s against nhs guidelines’ has become a bit of a last refuge on this thread for those who can’t articulate their problem with tea.

From the nursery’s point of view, I get why it’s easier to slavishly follow guidelines, covers their back. If I were a nursery owner I’d do the same.

However, I’d have no issue at all with turning a blind eye over this. NHS guidelines on nutrition have been, ahem, a mixed bag, to put it charitably. I’m still reeling from the change for life leaflet I saw 4/5 years ago that recommended swapping peanut putter in children’s diets for Nutella Confused.

MummasTheWord · 04/03/2019 09:06

‘But it’s against nhs guidelines’ has become a bit of a last refuge on this thread for those who can’t articulate their problem with tea.

Ummmm definitely not...half Irish, not problem with tea...had it as a child myself...but 40 years later the NHS and beyond and have found that caffeine is not healthy or good for children, and tbh it is pretty obvious.

Parents can decide and monitor levels/amount they have...no judgement there, but I would not accept and Ofsted would not veto, tea being given to young children in a nursery especially without the parents permission.

Not a reason to leave the nursery, but should definitely complain.

LaurieMarlow · 04/03/2019 09:09

the NHS and beyond and have found that caffeine is not healthy or good for children, and tbh it is pretty obvious.

Yet chocolate also has caffeine in it and I don’t see any outrage over occasional chocolate consumption.

Also, the OP never clarified if it was caffeinated or not.

howmanybiscuits · 04/03/2019 12:51

You could say the same about sugar, yet I don’t see too many sugar free nursery’s out there

Well, we may do in the future once it's better understood how damaging sugar is.

Here's a really interesting article on how misunderstood fat and sugar have been, for example www.theguardian.com/society/2016/apr/07/the-sugar-conspiracy-robert-lustig-john-yudkin
(TL: DR - fat was blamed as the culprit for obesity and heart disease when all along it should have been sugar. Sugar is bad!)

But it’s against nhs guidelines’ has become a bit of a last refuge on this thread for those who can’t articulate their problem with tea

No, you're totally missing the point. It's all about the guidelines. The minimum I expect from a nursery is to be aware of and adhere to NHS guidelines on what's best for my child. If they want to deviate from them, then they need to inform me.

Writing they do one thing in their policy (give only milk and water) and then to do another (give a caffeinated drink) is not on, and it totally breaks their trust with me. What other policies are they breaking and not telling me about?

Thankfully my child's nursery was nothing like that. It's unimaginable they'd do something like this! They were wonderful. And I can imagine they'd be shocked if I told them another nursery did this.

GuidoTheKillerPimp · 04/03/2019 16:54

—I don't know if it's true but my Mum always said real tea reduces your body's ability to absorb calcium so shouldn't be given to children. If it's proper tea I'd just ask for him to not have any next time.—

Maybe research it?

Chilledout11 · 04/03/2019 16:57

It sounds very unusual milk would be better. No need for biscuit. Ok on occasion

TakeNoSHt · 07/03/2019 18:11

Great social habit to get kids into early. You can request decaff only if you like but it’ll be mostly milky and room trmperature. And you’ve gone viral!! A mum says her two-year-old was given a cup of tea at nursery www.belfastlive.co.uk/news/uk-world-news/mum-isnt-happy-after-two-15930062?utm_source=whatsapp.com&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=sharebar

TakeNoSHt · 07/03/2019 18:20

Sorry bad link. This should work-
m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=1623150024496655&id=526712010807134

Windingstreams · 07/03/2019 20:23

But it’s against nhs guidelines’ has become a bit of a last refuge on this thread for those who can’t articulate their problem with tea

For the third time on this thread. It’s advised against because it inhibits iron absorption. Iron deficiency anaemia can cause brain damage. That’s why the NHS say ‘tea is not appropriate for young children’

It’s really not hard to find the reasons. A simple Google will do it

Totaldogsbody · 07/03/2019 21:07

If the policy of the nursery is that only milk and water will be provided then if they decide to change the policy they must inform the parents in writing. This would then provide the parents with the opportunity to refuse permission for their children to receive the tea. The nursery has a duty of care to their children and should follow the guidelines of the NHS.

LaurieMarlow · 07/03/2019 21:20

It’s advised against because it inhibits iron absorption. Iron deficiency anaemia can cause brain damage

If you actually drink buckets of the stuff. Which no toddler will be.

ImNotTheDramaLlamaHere · 07/03/2019 21:21

Decaf?
Normal tea has more caffeine in it than coffee btw

LaurieMarlow · 07/03/2019 21:32

Normal tea has more caffeine in it than coffee btw

No. Tea leaves have more caffeine than coffee beans, but because coffee is much more concentrated a when drunk a cup of coffee is more caffeinated than a cup of tea.

But it could have been decaff anyway.

Bigonesmallone3 · 07/03/2019 21:35

Op stated it was normal tea!

LaurieMarlow · 07/03/2019 21:38

Did she?

NoCryingInEngineering · 07/03/2019 22:13

Our nursery does forest school for the pre school room which generally involves 2-3hrs outdoors. When DS was in that room a regular FS activity was to make a fire to boil a kettle and the kids would be offered hot chocolate or tea with their snack. Seemed fairly sensible to me.

DS usually chose hot chocolate but around the time he started reception he asked if he could try my tea one weekend morning, got a taste for it and now has his own tea mug & fairly regularly asks for a Saturday morning cuppa.

Several grades better than DD who acts like a mini Mrs Doyle, offering 24566784 cups of pretend tea but whipping them away before you can pretend drink them shouting Tea HOT! So she'll be sorted for Forest School in a year or so

Bigonesmallone3 · 07/03/2019 22:15

If you go through the thread u will see op said
Bog standard tea