To treat this as a one off?

[Shakeyitoff]

I was out for a good few hours at the weekend and left my 5&7 year olds in the care of my DH. He agreed to attend something on my behalf and take the kids with him. I explained as he’d never been there before that he could leave the kids in the waiting area where he could see them and to take an iPad and packed lunch for them to keep them occupied while he concentrated on doing what he needed to do.

He told me when I got home that he’d left them in the private car park of the farm for an hour on their own with his iPad and checked on them once in that time. He would have been unable to see them.

AIBU to treat it as a one off, having told him to never do it again or am I minimalising and should I raise a concern with social services knowing it will probably be the end of our relationship. The sad thing is I wasn’t that surprised he’d done it. It was only telling a friend about it yesterday and her shock that had me thinking I’m minimalising things.

[Steamedbadger]

Nutty thread of the day (although I'd certainly tell him he shouldn't have left them out of sight)

[Strugglingtodomybest]

I had to read the replies to even determine what he's done wrong. I would have happily left my kids in the car in this situation. Poor bloke!

[Kedgeree]

Am I the only one who thinks that if you didn't have appropriate childcare in place the easiest thing would have been to miss the dog training session? Surely that would have been better than ending up in a situation where you are considering reporting your own DH to SS when NOTHING HAPPENED.

Why didn't it occur to you that on your list of priorities dog training would come pretty close to the bottom?

Bonkers. There's some bonkers stuff on MN, but this is right up there...

[Sleephead1]

I'm actually surprised at the responses and while I wouldn't ring social services if I'm reading it right he left them alone in the car in a car park for half a hour then checked then another half hour say and had no way of seeing them. So if they had got out and wondered off he couldn't see, if anyone had approached the car he couldn't see is that correct? If so I would be furious yes parents make decisions but I would think most parents would not leave their young children alone

[2birds1stone]

Yeah a bit stupid but only what my dad would have done with specific instruction not to leave the car and If we did to come together etc etc.

Dh left the baby Gate open at the weekend. 18 month went upstairs and was running about like a loon. Went through the what ifs gave dh a ticking off.. he won't do it again.

If he had left them in Tesco csrpark or a multi storey while he did an hour of shopping I would be kicking off but he obviously went through the risks in his head and thought it would be ok... perhaps the kids asked if they could sit in the car?

If we don't let men parent on their own then we get called controlling and overbearing. I doubt he will do it again and perhaps consider another option if a similar situation occurs in the future?

[Mmmhmmm]

Doesn't SS have kids actually being abused that need their attention? 🤔

Ask him not to do it again and move on. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[EstrellaDamn]

If you've got some knowledge of social services, why would you add to their workload with something so pointless?

[OhDearGodLookAtThisMess]

It's not AIBU that's the issue here! It's your insane suggestion of reporting your dp to SS!!

[Shakeyitoff]

Yeah car park is pretty close but not within view. The entrance is at the other end of the barn, so all in all about 100m away. Ok glad you don’t think I need to do anything further and that I’m not bu. Strangely, I gave up glue sniffing when I had kids

Also to add my friend is lovely and she wasn’t shit stirring, just concerned which as I say made me think perhaps I was bu. She didn’t suggest it though.

[MorningsEleven]

You might as well log it with 101 while you’re at it

😁

[Shakeyitoff]

Yes SS do have more serious stuff to deal with. I’ve already said that. I know nothing would come from it. A 5 min call for advice is not going to add much to their caseload though. You’ve all said pretty much that I am not bu to take it no further, so I’ll stick with my original plan.

[SleepingStandingUp]

Sleephead1 I think if OP had said AIBU to be really angry etc she'd have got agreement. It's the AIBU to report DH to SS and end our marriage because he did an irresponsible thing and thankfully no harm was caused

[Shakeyitoff]

Right signing off now. Thanks for all your confirmations that I am not being unreasonable.

[Shakeyitoff]

I was actually asking aibu to treat this as a one off. People have tagged on to the ss bit because that was the alternative I could see if I was bu and minimalising things.

[VladmirsPoutine]

I can't get over the reporting to social services comment...