Annoyed at woman who gave DS chocolate and crisps in the park

[Eastie77]

Took DS (2) and older DD to the park today. DS was sleeping in his buggy while DD played. He woke up and was sitting contentedly watching everyone play. I went over to help DD with something and returned barely a minute later to find DS holding a bag of Wotsits and a bar of chocolate. The woman sitting next to me on the bench had given them to him. I have never met or spoken to this woman before. She had a young child with her and a large bag of snacks. I took the chocolate and crisps from DS and politely gave them back to her saying "thanks, he's already had his snacks today and it's his dinner time soon". She then proceeded to ignore me and hand both items back to him! I took them from him and this time forcefully said we did not want them to which she replied "why can't he have them, what's the problem?". I repeated what I had said earlier. She tutted and rolled her eyes .

At first I was just a bit bemused by it all but as the afternoon wore on I became really annoyed as I saw her attempting to hand out various snacks to other kids. Several parents intervened and said no but there were some kids who were on their own/parents not in view who took the chocolates etc. DP thinks I am completely over-reacting but I really don't know who in their right mind would just hand that kind of stuff out to a child they do not know? She had no idea if a child was allergic to anything in any of the items she was giving out.

Btw I don't think there was anything remotely sinister about her (so no need for me to log a call with 101 ) but I do think I should have said something to her...

[TombQueen666]

What an idiot! She should of checked first. My child has allergies to things found in both them foods 😡

[LittleMe03]

Bizarre! YANBU

[Rixera]

My DD is one of those people who magnetically attracts gifts. Always has been. Buying ice cream? Go on, have another scoop. Community picnic? Older children give her their toys.

But whenever we're out in town, the elderly population- mostly Asian- offer sweets, often asking permission to go and buy something especially for her. I thought it was weird at first, but now feel like I should be glad they at least asked! It is very kind though still find it a bit uncomfortable.

[thisneverendingsummer]

What a stupid woman. How DARE she?

It pisses me off enough when this woman walks past my house and gives my cats treats at the foot of my drive. She means well, but it really pisses me off. They are both a little bit chubby - one about 10% heavier than she should be, and one about 15% more. (Both quite oldish, 12 to 13.) I try and keep them from eating too much, and this bloody woman shoves treats under their nose!

It's a very nice area here, and I don't want to fall out with anyone, and so I don't say anything, but it annoys me. I catch her doing it 2 or 3 times a week.

Re the OP; If it was my CHILD, I would have to say something because that is well out of order. As a pp said, your child could have food allergies, or anything... All this 'she was being nice' doesn't wash. Giving sweets to the kids of a random stranger in the park is just odd. And giving them to them AGAIN, when they have been told 'no' once is bizarre, pushy, and controlling...

You really needed to tell her to fuck off.

Easier said than done I know...

[Eastie77]

I know it's considered normal in some places. On holiday in Southern Europe several people handed DD various things to eat, normally waiting staff in restaurants though. In DP's home country people do this all the time. But it's not the norm here and the woman didn't seem to want to hear this because despite several parents handing her snacks back to her she continued distributing them to other children.

user the snacks were in sealed packets, I honestly don't think there was anything sinister going on. I'm not sure if you are joking about calling the police!

[Aridane]

I think you could have definitely phoned the police. You've no idea what was in any of the stuff. It's beyond weird.
!!!

[Galvantula]

Oh that's a bit odd.

If I'm at the park with our DC and they have snacks which other people's kids want to share, I always ask their parent or whoever first, even though it's usually someone we know!

[Eastie77]

Rixera that actually sounds quite nice (sweets from elderly people) if they ask first. We live near an area with a huge Asian population and during certain festivals the kids often get sweets BUT they are handed to me first to give to them

[SaucyJack]

Just chalk it up to a culture clash, and move on.

It’s not shocking or rude that people from other countries have different attitudes to eating treats in front of others than we do.

[BumsexAtTheBingo]

Well she was obviously weird but I wouldn’t leave a child so young out of my eyesight long enough for a stranger to approach and presumably open snacks and my child start eating them????
I also wouldn’t consider an child who would take snacks from someone they don’t know to be mature enough to be in the park alone.

[Serin]

I think it is a cultural thing. My DMum isn't English and when we are in her home country strangers have given our DC home made cakes, sweets and even money 😰 It is difficult to know how to react! Am sure she was just trying to be kind but agree that it's a worry with allergies.

[joiningmum]

I have a child with allergies and would've been very uncomfortable about this. Giving them back again would've made me furious! I teach them not to take food off strangers. A woman once put food in my baby's mouth when on my back in a carrier, a baby FFS!

Whatever the cause it's not OK to give snacks to strangers without asking, especially not to toddlers.

[seven201]

My 2 year old daughter has a milk allergy. I would hit the roof at that woman. She could actually kill someone.

[keepingbees]

I was going to say was it a cultural thing. My neighbour (of different culture) used to do the same thing handing my children food over the garden fence without me knowing. They'd come in with cakes and sweets as I was serving up their dinner. She meant well but it was very annoying.
You weren't wrong to be annoyed, but I think it was probably done with good intent.

[Eastie77]

@BumsexAtTheBingo DS didn't open or eat anything. I think I was away from him for maybe a minute. The woman was sitting next to him and I'd guess it takes roughly a second to hand something to a child? He's 2 years old so yeah..not really a mature child yet.

[joiningmum]

Easie77 I'm glad they ask. I don't want anyone shoving sugar in my baby's mouth when they're too young to have anything but milk! (That's happened too).


Of course people have their own cultures, but why force it onto others who may have reasons for not doing the same thing. Respect should be mutual, it's just basic manners to ask.

[BumsexAtTheBingo]

Sorry I thought you were saying she’s fed them to him.
Slightly more understandable as maybe he reached for them and she was just letting him rustle the wrappers?

[DaisyYellow]

I wouldn’t be happy with that either. Maybe it is a cultural issue, but I think most reasonable people would cotton on to the fact that it’s not acceptable here once a few parents refused her handouts.

[FredMerc]

I would be very angry as my son has a food allergy and only eats what I've vetted. My older DS had a reaction only to Wotsits and was never allowed them again . Not ok, surely ppl know this by now!!

[Eastie77]

@FredMerc I will show your message to DP because when I explained the woman was in the wrong because of the threat of allergies he laughed and said he has never heard of anyone being allergic to Wotsits or crisps in general. But he thinks the whole alllergy thing is exaggerated in this country because when he was a child in Italy he didn't know a single child with one

[SchadenfreudeUndeadified]

My youngest has a metabolic condition and is on a strict Keto diet (and always will be, she cannot ever have anything like chocolate or crisps) so this would be unacceptable to me on every level.

This is the sort of situation that would worry me. My kids have cast iron stomachs and the metabolisms of hippos (like their mother), but I know that many children aren't so lucky.

I don't even like people giving my dogs treats without permission, I'd go off it if someone fed my child.

[LadyHonoriaDedlock]

This happens to my dd on the bus - she's an old people magnet! I just thank them, say she can have the sweets after her dinner and then get rid...

[Gigglebrain]

YADNBU! She was so out of order, I would be fuming. As others have said, what is the children had allergies. Plus, children are taught never to accept sweets/treats from strangers.
She was an idiot, I would have handed them back too, and I wouldn’t care how rude anyone thought I was, it’s not her place to give your child sweets.

[HidingFromMyKids]

Mine have allergies.

I would go mad.

Even without the allergies I would probably still go mad. The old never take sweeties from strangers is something I remember from being really young.

[Tartanwallpaper]

A sensible looking middle aged couple once asked if they could give my young toddler at the time (in a buggy, he was maybe 18 months?) a humbug, apparently they felt bad Not giving him anything as he was being so good in the queue at the supermarket. I found it so weird but glad that they asked