More WWYD - if your teen DD had gained a lot of weight

[mistybridge]

Tricky I know but how would you deal with it? 5’3 and about 11 stone.

[davisday]

Has she recently started birth control?

[arwenearlythereyet]

Could you start doing couch to 5k (or another shared sport) together?

[reallyanotherone]

Out of interest, how do you know what she weighs?

I don’t have a clue what my kids weigh. Haven’t since they were abot 8 weeks old.

Could she be heading for a growth spurt? I grew quite a bit from 16-18.

[Cambalamb]

8 stone and just the right weight for 5' 3" and I am medium not small build.

Just the right weight for what?

[WaxOnFeckOff]

My DS just turned 17. We decided as a family in january we were all going to eat healthier and get fit for our summer holidays. He had the most to lose, we just did it quite matter of factly and we all weighed in every week. He's lost 3 stone. We all now have a healthy BMI, I was slightly over and DH and DS1 were at the top end of healthy.

DS2s confidence has really grown and he says he has never been hungry, he's just making smarter choices when he is out and we've been more careful with portion sizes and family meals and the types of snacks we have available. We are all now just maintaining where we are.

I agree don't make an issue of it but there is nothing wrong with having a conversation about being a healthier family.

[SEsofty]

Pregnant

[reallyanotherone]

8 stone and just the right weight for 5' 3" and I am medium not small build.

I am 5’4 and 8 st is eating disorder territory. At that weight i was eating 500 cals a day. My “fighting weight” is about 9-9.5 st. I was a competitve athlete at that weight. Even now, sedentary with an office job, post kids, i don’t look terrible at 10.5 st.

I naturally maintain muscle, and am very “dense”. I had a teamate an inch smaller than me who was similar- she was 12st at 5’3 and was tiny. Just pure muscle.

Just because you feel massive at the bottom end of your weight range doesnmt mean other should or do.

[Notcontent]

I can’t believe that people on this thread are saying to ignore it and that she isn’t very overweight. She is, particularly given she is only 16! Now is the time to address it.

This is why we have an obesity crisis. Because everyone is in denial.

[Wittow]

She isn't "very overweight" as the PP says; a BMI of 26 is only slightly overweight. What size is she? Has she mentioned herself anything about food and weight being an issue for her? For god's sake don't make her feel 'less than' or self conscious for this. How is her self esteem?

[Shitlandpony]

I like this article op, don’t know if that’s any help.

Talk and listen
Aisling Pigott, a paediatric dietitian and spokesperson for the British Dietetic Association, says it is important to "talk to children from a young age openly and honestly about food as a positive thing".
"Have open discussions about enjoying food, take the focus away from body image to health and wellbeing, as opposed to look and image," she says.
"Don't use negative words like 'fat' and 'ugly' with your children - don't talk about cutting down and not eating certain foods as it makes children want them more," she adds.
With older children there are many more influences so teenagers should be approached sensitively, Ms Pigott points out.
"Don't attack and don't talk about long-term consequences for their health because they don't care, as teenagers live in the here and now," she explains.
"Focus on how they look at the moment and help them work on gaining more positive self-esteem."
Overweight teenagers will display unhealthy eating behaviours - often restricting their food intake and then overeating.
Boosting their self esteem can work well in stabilising their eating habits, according to Ms Pigott.
"Reassure them and remind them everyone is a different shape and size - and it's just about keeping within healthy norms."
Share this story About s

[WaxOnFeckOff]

For a 16 year old child the BMI tracker doesn't use the same format:

www.nhs.uk/Tools/Pages/Healthyweightcalculator.aspx

OPs DD would be overweight but not quite obese.

[deathisforever]

My mum has gone on about my weight my entire life, believe me, it's a relationship ruiner.

She knows if she's overweight and she knows wether she's happy at the size she is or not. Let her come to you.

[WaxOnFeckOff]

At 11 stone 4 you are into Very Overweight, the child calculator doesn't call it Obese.

You just need to be a few pounds out in your estimate or have overstated the height by an inch and we are talking about a very overweight child here.

Your DD will be well aware OP and probably not happy about it but whilst you don't want to over focus on it, small changes could make a big difference and she might not even overly notice.

[WaxOnFeckOff]

I mean she might not even overly notice you've altered her food.

[Meandyoumake2]

How about a Fitbit? And educate her and yourself on my fitness pal - 3500calories deficit per week for 1lb loss in weight. Maybe a shopping trip when she has a certain amount off?

[Aaaahfuck]

How much weight has she put on? If she's 11 stone but was 8 that's a lot compared tp 10 up to 11. Have talked to her about it?

Also what time period are we talking about? I think rapid weight gain can be a sign something is up either physically or mentally. Telrwad carefully and focus on health and wellbeing rather than appearance. I know people will say otherwise but not everyone is built to be slim. She may be a bit of a bigger person.

[countrybunny]

I'm nearly 11 stone and 5ft 4 but a size 10 😕

[Shitlandpony]

At 11 stone 4 you are into Very Overweight, the child calculator doesn't call it Obese

You just need to be a few pounds out in your estimate or have overstated the height by an inch and we are talking about a very overweight child here

The thing is that calculator covers from 5-16 or 5-18 I can’t remember which is a very rough and not particularly accurate way of calculating bmi once you get to 16, which is pretty much an adult in most other respects physically. My dd is 16 and been discharged from paediatrics in to all adult nhs specialists now.

Anyway, op could just have easily over estimated and her dd could be 5’4 and 10.11 stone.

Who knows? Op is not around.
I know that two of my dds went from 11stone to 9 between 16-18, completely on their own. I know that puppy fat is pretty much de bunked but I think it’s been proven hasn’t it that there is a change in calorie expenditure at this age?

[Tomboytown]

I was 11st at 18. I would kill to be that weight again. It was perfectly acceptable and when I look back on photos I’m positively skinny

[WaxOnFeckOff]

Anyway, op could just have easily over estimated and her dd could be 5’4 and 10.11 stone.

Indeed.

Adults tend to overestimate their height and underestimate their weight but at 16 she could still be growing and therefore could just as easily underestimate. The range of healthy is much bigger for a child, less so as an adult.

[Pols10wp]

I think you need to understand the root cause before deciding what action to take e.g. is she stressed and comfort eating, are you making large portions,what about exercise? I would tread carefully and be very subtle in your approach otherwise you could give her a complex.

[AgnesBrownsCat]

Id get her to follow slimming world but without the low fat crap they push . So protein , no bread , lots of salad, veg and fruit . Eleven stone at 16 is very overweight . Help her to sort it now before it gets worse

[AgnesBrownsCat]

Weight is 80% diet related and only 20% exercise. Easier to eat less than go running for hours every week .

[agnurse]

If this was a very sudden weight gain I would be concerned about emotional eating and also sexual abuse.

I'd also be looking at the possibility of a hormonal problem. PCOS can cause weight gain.