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AIBU?

to feel that DH's work should not expect him to get a passport?

176 replies

Thebewilderbeest · 25/09/2018 11:02

DH is a TA in a special needs secondary school. The assistant head has asked him to go on a ski trip to France in January. Going on residential trips is not expected as part of the job role and is done by staff on a purely voluntary basis. He has already been away on residential trips in this country - something that many of the staff, particularly at his level, refuse to do on the grounds that they don't get paid enough. He tends to put himself forward for these trips as the students get so much out of them and without staff willing to go they wouldn't happen.

He doesn't have a passport, he has no need to go abroad and we aren't planning on taking any foreign holidays any time soon. When our passports expired we made the decision not to renew them as it seemed like a waste of money as we have no intentions of leaving the country.

DH has told the assistant head that he would be willing to go on the ski trip but can't because he doesn't have a passport. The assistant head is now pressuring him into getting a passport so he can go, as they have a lack of willing volunteers. DH is feeling like he is being guilted into doing it for the students and that he is letting the team down if he says no.

Am I being unreasonable to be a bit annoyed at the prospect of us forking out £75 for something that DH is not going to have a use for after the trip? Not to mention having to pay for appropriate clothing/gear which again, he will have no use for afterwards. He won't be doing any skiing as they have instructors for that but he's still going to be out on the slopes all day.

I've been saying that I think he should say no. We aren't very high earners and it will put a dent in our budget. He is on the fence about it. AIBU?

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Notacluewhatthisis · 25/09/2018 11:40

A free passport would be of no further use to him in the near future after the trip


But the last 10 years.....What if they agreed to pay half? Would that work?

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MissusGeneHunt · 25/09/2018 11:41

@Thebewilderbeest

Ok see your point about JUST doing it for a free passport, but that aside, if he already had one, would he do the trip?

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Thebewilderbeest · 25/09/2018 11:42

@BakedBeans47

The point is he did say no. He's now being pressured to get one anyway.

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Thebewilderbeest · 25/09/2018 11:45

If he already had a passport then he would do the trip. There would still the question of equipment and gear to pay for but if the cost of a passport was not part of the equation then paying for 2nd hand gear or borrowing would be feasible.

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WhatIsThisTomfoolery · 25/09/2018 11:51

I think it's up to him and not you

He may need a passport in the future, you don't know what path his life will take!

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StealthPolarBear · 25/09/2018 11:52

They do last ten years but why not get one when yiu actually need one?

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Lunde · 25/09/2018 11:54

YANBU

Some people just don't understand that £75 is a lot of money on a TA salary and that TA's usually don't get paid in the holidays - so that the passport + ski-clothing + unpaid hours is a huge subsidy that the school are asking for from their low paid staff.

I think that your DH should be clearer that he is not going but the AH should not be pushing this

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prettypossums · 25/09/2018 11:54

So, to clarify OP, if the school say yes, we will pay for your passport, will he then be backtracking and saying he doesn't have the right clothes? Or will he happily go?

This.

TBH op, you're sounding pretty Eeyorish about this, who knows, the ski trip could even be fun? Presumably the rest of his expenses would be paid?

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Thebewilderbeest · 25/09/2018 11:55

I agree it's up to him. Came here to ask if I'm being unreasonable to feel how I do about it.

My post says that I've been saying 'I think' he should say no. I haven't been telling him to say no, that's his choice.

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chocatoo · 25/09/2018 11:55

I’m sure School will fund the passport if he asks.

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Miladymilord · 25/09/2018 11:56

I agree he shouldn't pay for one, but equally I doubt the school will be able to pay for it. So ultimately he isn't an appropriate volunteer for this trip and the school shouldn't be pressuring him

This

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EdisonLightBulb · 25/09/2018 11:56

"Sorry HT, I don't have a passport and getting one and buying winter snow clothing is out of my family's price range. I really am sorry, but my salary simply doesn't run to this"

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ArfArfBarf · 25/09/2018 11:57

I’m not sure that school trips are “fun” for teachers!

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ilovegin112 · 25/09/2018 11:58

I think the trouble is he wasn’t clear enough in the first place, they probably think he’s doing the trip and are trying to jolly him along about the passport

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Thebewilderbeest · 25/09/2018 11:58

I'm sure that he would enjoy the trip. However school residentials are exhausting - he has a bunch of 12-16 year olds with special needs to look after, it's not exactly just a jolly for him.

The rest of the expenses would indeed be paid.

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Thebewilderbeest · 25/09/2018 12:00

Have to log off now to work.

Thanks for the advice all. Food for thought

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DarlingNikita · 25/09/2018 12:03

YANBU. Why should he get something that costs money you can't afford to help the school out? If they want him to go they can pay for the passport. I take it he hasn't suggested that to them?

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ems137 · 25/09/2018 12:04

I wouldn't pay £75 for a new passport until I needed it either! So it costs £7.50 per year. If I'm not planning on going abroad for 3 years why would I waste £22.50 on a passport to sit in the drawer when I could renew it in 3 years time and still have the full 10 years left?

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JessicaJonesJacket · 25/09/2018 12:07

The school shouldn't be pressuring him but he should be able to answer a closed question with a 'yes' or 'no' answer. I can see why the deputy HT was confused by his answer. And even reading all your posts here, I'm confused about whether or not he wants to go on the trip. But I'd start from the basis of 'can I go on the trip?' no I don't have a passport. Rather than 'do I want to go on this trip if I pretend I have all the requisite items needed?'

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museumum · 25/09/2018 12:10

I would have thought a SN school would need to have a fundraising body attached (PTA or charity of volunteers). If they want to ski, which I think is a great idea, then a passport for a TA and use of a school jacket and salopettes is perfectly reasonable to add to the fundraising target.

TAs get what £8/hr term time only? They're not likely to be going on ski holidays themselves unless married to a high earner and should NOT be expected to be out of pocket.

You wouldn't expect a carer for someone who needs 1:1 care to buy their own snow clothes and passport to accompany a client on a ski holiday, and carer wages are similar to TA when the whole term-time only thing is taken into consideration.

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Nightwatch999 · 25/09/2018 12:11

Sorry OP you sound bitter and jealous. If your DH is happy to go then good for him.

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Miladymilord · 25/09/2018 12:12

Yeah I must say I might be doing what I could to get dh a passport. Saving, selling bits on ebay. If he wanted to go he might really enjoy himself

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Racecardriver · 25/09/2018 12:15

He clearly has a good reputation for his work ethic. You should civsider the long term implications of refusing. As it stands if he were to apply for a better job he would get a glowing reference. He should think about that when he refuses. He should also think about getting a better paid job. He is clearly a hard worker. You don't get much if that in Britain and people are willing to pay for it. Has he considered training as a teacher/moving to the private sector?

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prh47bridge · 25/09/2018 12:18

Any business (and I appreciate schools aren't profit making) would pay for this

Some might but it is absolutely not the case that any business would. After all, a passport is not solely for business use. If a business does pay for an employee's passport it is classed as additional earnings and the employee should pay tax and NI on the cost of the passport (although I suspect some businesses get this wrong and HMRC wouldn't necessarily notice).

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Onlyjoinedforthisthread · 25/09/2018 12:22

Do any of you close family e.g. parents go abroad? If so I'd recommend getting a passport as you might need one in a hurry one day should anything happen to them, my sister and I found out the hard way.

Separately I think you are using the passport as a red herring and you don't what your husband to go and that's fair enough.

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