To think that this isn’t appropriate work wear?

[Howmanysleepstilchristmas]

Fishnet stockings, with suspenders showing 3” below the hem of a miniskirt?

[Chocolatecoffeeaddict]

It's underwear, that's why it's not appropriate. When I worked in a nursery years ago, in the summer we had the option to wear a vest top but the straps had to be an inch thick to cover bra straps. Suspenders is a step further than a bra strap..

[ZanyMobster]

AynRandTheObjectivist - yep comment of the day, I did an ugly snort laugh at that one especially as the description made me think of him instantly!

Definitely inappropriate and unprofessional. Not practical at all. I work on a MH unit and have only ever seen sensibly, comfortably dressed people (including the patients most of the time ).

At DHs work they had to spell out everything to the office as on dress down days people were rocking up in denim ripped hot pants and cropped tops and often clients would visit for meetings. People are really that stupid unfortunately. I am not even sure they thought to put no suspenders on display though

[AynRandTheObjectivist]

Glad I entertained

adjusts boa and corset

Whatever happened to Fay Wray
That delicate satin draped frame
As it clung to her thigh
How I started to cry
For I wanted to be dressed just the same....

[SerenDippitty]

Years ago someone I worked with was wearing a short though not mini skirt with quite a deep slit. From the back you could quite clearly see she was wearing lace topped holdups. I’m not sure whether she realised the tops of her stockings were visible or not.

[AnoukSpirit]

Actual fishnets or micro fishnets?

Suspenders aside, I wouldn't think anything of micro fishnets in a professional workplace. To me they'd be no different to patterned tights or textured tights. Fishnets proper would be different though. Depending on the rest of the outfit and who they'd be working with, still possibly not enough for me to speak to someone about.

Suspenders are not supposed to be on display. I'd consider that unacceptable in any professional environment regardless of whether they were attached to fishnets or the most boring stockings ever created. Just like having your lacy underwear deliberately on show above the waistline of your trousers.

And I'm not someone who's obsessive or picky about "upholding standards of professional attire" or whatever. My general view is that looking smart is about how you present yourself and behave, not just conforming to a traditional set of clothes labelled as "smart". People look a scruffy, unprofessional mess in a formal suit all the time.

As a service user, I'd be deeply uncomfortable if a member of the team working with me attended an appointment with suspenders on display. Why? Because I would feel like they had deliberately chosen to expose their underwear to me and I consider that inappropriate and to be a violation of my boundaries! But that is influenced by the fact I'm speaking as a service user who sits in the category of "sexual violence survivor", others may not feel the same (even others to whom that also applies).

I wouldn't care that much - if at all - about a mini skirt if they weren't exposing themselves to me, and nor would I massively care about the kind of tights/stockings. Unless they were so nice I wanted to know where they got them from.

[DasPepe]

One could argue that in certain professions a certain “look” is desired/expected and practical. Almost like a uniform: though We have broadened the criteria so much it does feel as though you can wear what you’d like.

Clothes, like everything else we can chose to put on or display our individuality, give away a myriad of cues,open to interpretation. In a professional setting, especially in addition, health related, this is simply “noise”. It is distracting and diluting your position at work. A slogan T-shirt on my doctor would make me trying that she/he are not focusing on their job (because I’m not)
Not just sexually distracting (although that does sound like this is the case)

It’s like using a red pen. Peoples expectation is that a red pen means either a correction or something really important.
If you are just using a red pen because you like it, everyone will need a small amount of time and energy to work out that it is not a correction/important. It’s extra processing power for our brain. Some might revert again to this assumption and need to remind themselves again further on. It happens almost unconsciously becuause of pre programming. But th constant distraction from the norm is there. If you just used black or blue pen this would not happen.

[EvaHarknessRose]

Not the most practical during a restraint or the most professional image. I would suggest your dresscode needs a bit more detail. My manager once had to have a word with someone about lots of visible cleavage on an older adults mental health ward.

[notacooldad]

I work in a place that you can more or less be as casual as you like as long as you haven't got a multi agency meeting or similar to go to. During the summer the guys were in shorts and flip flops looking like they were going surfing and the women wore stroppy vests and denim skirts.
However if none turned up with suspenders on show I am confident they would have been sent home to re dress.

[AnoukSpirit]

As for victim blaming... Why?

My first thought was how uncomfortable it would make a lot of vulnerable SUs feel. Was your first thought that she would be the one who'd end up uncomfortable then?

In my previous post I was contrasting my professional environment with how I feel as SU, because there is a power differential in the latter. And that makes a big difference to the impact of how you - the professional with power over the SU - dresses, if how you've chosen to dress is with your underwear on display. Not to mention the fact that presumably she is also dealing with people who are already distressed or talking about/working through causes of distress.

It's intimidating, inappropriate, triggering, distracting, uncomfortable and distressing to be vulnerable, potentially dealing with difficult things, and then to be faced with a person who has power over you deciding wilfully to display their underwear to you. It has the potential to erode trust and make people feel unsafe.

I wouldn't care about a bra strap. I don't want to see the knickers or suspenders of staff treating or supporting me. I would be upset if they were clueless enough to need that explaining. I suppose if she doesn't understand this though she might also lack the insight to understand the power imbalance that exists in her role?

In my own workplace the power differential is only in terms of seniority. It's nothing compared to that in mental health settings. We're peers at work, albeit with reporting lines, so the impact of clothes choices doesn't have the same impact on people.

I wouldn't appreciate a colleague exposing her knickers/suspenders to me, but it also wouldn't make me feel intimidated or vulnerable in the way it would if a mental health professional did that to me.

[TomHardysNextWife]

I'd have sent them home and told them to come back in appropriate clothing!

That's gross, just exhibitionism pure and simple.

[DPotter]

Not professional ware at all. Your policy needs tightening up pronto.

I remember when I worked on site with a regional secure psychiatric unit, female staff were advised to wear tights at all times, even with trousers "to help prevent penetration".

[Alpacanorange]

Inappropriate to reveal underwear as outerwear, can’t believe people of work age need this pointing out.
People think they are entitled to do say wear whatever they want because they want. I would have sent her home.

[starbrightlight]

I'm agog at how articulate (or should that be literate?) all you Mumsnetters appear to be. (Misses point of thread entirely, distracted by the simple pleasure of the English language being written so eloquently, and more important, clearly).

[Boodapoo]

She asked why? What an idiot.

[Rebecca36]

Definitely not appropriate for the environment in which she works. I'm surprised there isn't some sort of dress code.

[Wishiwasa]

@notacooldad
had a great image of a stroppy vest muttering away stroppily through the day. And am assuming you meant anyone rather than none turning up in suspenders being sent home to redress. Still giggling at the image of grumpy vests and the outrage of managers finding none of their staff had arrived in suspenders!

[Nothisispatrick]

I don’t think it’s victim blaming as I would find it very distracting if I were her patient. Not because I find it sexually attractive, I just would just be shocked and not able to look away!

[notacooldad]

@notacooldad
grin had a great image of a stroppy vest muttering away stroppily through the day. And am assuming you meant anyone rather than none turning up in suspenders being sent home to redress. Still giggling at the image of grumpy vests and the outrage of managers finding none of their staff had arrived in suspenders

I'm an idiot! I really should wear my glasses when I use my phone to MN!
Funny comment back at me though!

[delphguelph]

Surprised you don't have a uniform.

[MissusGeneHunt]

Totally inappropriate. As someone who has been a 'resident' of a MH hospital in the past, I would have felt hugely uncomfortable with this. All the staff (clinical or not) wore casual, comfy clothes, suitable for safe restraint if required, and made us all feel the same. God they were a good bunch of people.

But dammit, Janet... this employee is totally wrong. Deffo say something if it happens again.

[Leighhalfpennysthigh]

Fuck no! Though I say as someone who spends their working life in tracking bottoms, trainers and a fleece or polo shirt!

[tempester28]

It is disrespectful to your service users.

[LemonysSnicket]

It's not professional because it has sexual connotations and they break very easily in a care situation

[Howmanysleepstilchristmas]

I agree with all the points made. I did send her home to change. Retrospectively it occurred to me to wonder whether sending her to change because her clothing was potentially sexually distracting or intimidating was on a par with schools asking girls to wear longer skirts because their short skirts were potentially distracting to boys. It seems that the majority feel it is not. Would a similar length skirt (ie inches above where suspenders end) be appropriate in this environment without suspenders then? Or not? I certainly wouldn’t wear one, and would probably have spoken to staff if they had to advise against it, but not sent them home to change. Would this be fair? Where is the line drawn?

[Collaborate]

It isn't unreasonable I think to stipulate that skirts or shorts need to be of a certain length.