Why do parents do this at pick up?

[Infomerkel]

I've name changed for this as I dont want to offend anyone I know IRL.

My DS is in a very small primary school. There is always a set of parents who meet their kids at the pick up doors with a 'treat' (bag of crisps, chocolate donuts, cupcakes etc). But I know where these kids live and its within a 3 minute walk of the school. Why do they need a snack at the door?

My DS is also usually starving after school but can manage the 3 min walk home, wash his hands and then sit at the table to eat.

I just don't get it? I'm foreign so maybe its a custom I haven't come across before? I've always wondered about it, but figured each to their own. But now, DS's best friends dad will often bring a 'treat' for DS as well. It's extremely kind and I'm always very grateful and thank him. But I don't want him having a treat every single day after school. I'm a bit strict at home about not making junk food into a habit but I don't want to come across as judgy or sanctimonious. I also feel odd not reciprocating and bringing treats in.

AIBU to not understand this?

[thornyhousewife]

And I've said it before but anyone who would begrudge a small child having a snack needs to have a word with themselves.

[Dancergirl]

Lots of small children also don’t feel like having a bath, going to bed, brushing their teeth after a long day at school. You’re the parent, however, and have a responsibility

Come on! Those things are not on the same level. Why battle with a child who is tired and crotchety after a long day at school to sit nicely at the table and eat their snack when they can eat the same snack walking home??

My dc were always in a better mood after something small to eat and the rest of the evening then goes much better.

[CSIblonde]

To make the walk home quieter. If they're stuffing their face they're not screaming, shouting, running, poking their brother/sister/the dog or using the school gates & school sign as a makeshift climbing frame. (ex teacher).

[JockTamsonsBairns]

Who even notices what everyone else is doing? Seriously!

But if nobody ever noticed anything that anyone else was doing, then AIBU wouldn't exist!

[Lucked]

The first time I came across this as a child was on an exchange trip to France, all the French children got picked up with a pain au chocolat to Eat on the way home. Hardly anyone does this at my kids school in Scotland

[ImAIdoot]

Perhaps they don't live three minutes away? That would be the obvious answer..

Yep, that or they do things after school like play dates, activities/clubs/classes, get taken on the school run for siblings etc rather than being taken straight home 5 days a week.

[Jackieyoulooknice]

It's soooo weird that you've noticed this and then thought about it, then decided it's bothering you enough to ask on mumsnet and pretend you don't understand because you're foreign.

Their kids are hungry, they probably can't be arsed listening to them whine for 3 minutes.

Maybe just focus on your own kid?

[nokidshere]

On a different tack, I reckon it's teaching children it's ok to eat in the street - something that didn't happen in the past and is totally unnecessary.

Well I'm 57 and eating on the street definitely happened when I was a child. We bought our own snacks on the way home from primary school because in those days we pretty much walked the few minutes to our local one without adults. Not only that, but we spent many hours sitting on the kerb outside the pub with crisps, cockles and coke whilst our parents were inside. And the local bakery used to give us "unsold" bakery food on a Saturday afternoon and we used to eat it walking home or in the park.

I often, but not always, take a snack for my minded children if we aren't going straight home. I can't see why it matters to anyone else. If they don't have an after school,snack they are clamouring for dinner at 3:30 and I prefer to feed them at 5:30

[0ccamsRazor]

With overweight children and child obesity so high in the uk, daily junk food is an issue worth raising for discussion.

[MistressDeeCee]

I don't think it's a case of people peering at what parents feed their kids all the time. It's just that gluttony and food obsession is noticeable when it's everywhere.

Re obesity - I don't see fat children regularly. That isn't saying there aren't any, but I don't think walking into a school you'd see majority fat children. I think it's more of an issue with older teens and adults. The weight message is so skewered tho - here's lots of food, alongside oh you must diet - I'm not surprised.

But I wasn't actually linking the constant munchies thing with weight anyway, just the why must you always be eating aspect.

[Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar]

I make DC wait outside the sweet shop while their friends all get treats
Wtf?

[hazeyjane]

On a different tack, I reckon it's teaching children it's ok to eat in the street - something that didn't happen in the past and is totally unnecessary.

Eh? Ancient Greeks sold fried fish on the streets, Londoners in Shakespearean times had a vast array of jellied eels and pies on the street, Parisians in the 19th century chowed down on fried potatoes (chips on the street...zut alors!). Have a look at the history of street food around the world.

[celticprincess]

I’ve never taken a snack to the gates. The odd time they’ve been given sweets at school for a birthday then they can have them but I never turn up with snacks. If we have to go straight to an activity - which we do one night a week - their snack is in the car - it’s swimming so eating then the 25 minute drive which gets us there a bit early means it’s had about an hour to digest. They do often have a snack when they get home but often if they’re kept busy they can actually wait until 5pm for their tea. If we visit Nanas house then it’s a snack as soon as they walk through the door but I don’t think they actually ‘need’ it.
The after school club does feed the children as soon as they arrive from clas - toast/pizza slice/biscuits or similar. So there must be some believe that they are hungry come 3-20.

[kristophersmum2008]

laughs i get this your kids have had nothing since lunch time 1200 its now maybe hitting 4/5 if theyve had a school dinner the portions are tiny. (i do pack ups because of this) esp a meal for a p1 trying to fed a p7

[Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar]

Eating in the street used to be seen as “common” by some, hazeyjane. The exception was eating chips on the promenade at Blackpool

[AndhowcouldIeverrefuse]

Tut tut OP. Foreigners aren't meant to have opinions. Remember the thread with the Japanese woman and the child who liked squid.

[HermioneGoesBackHome]

It's soooo weird that you've noticed this and then thought about it, then decided it's bothering you enough to ask on mumsnet and pretend you don't understand because you're foreign.

Their kids are hungry, they probably can't be arsed listening to them whine for 3 minutes.

I would have spect my dcs to wait a 3mins walk until we are back home.
I would also not accept winging for those 3 mins.
And I would HATE another parent bringing a ‘treat’ everyday for my child. For one, I can feed said child and I’d rather chose what I’m going to feed him. For two, it would have been nice to ask me first if I was ok with it. (Eg allergies, different diet at home etc etc)

People are talking a lot bout different people, different ways. They are just different to the Op etc..
Just stop been judgemental.

Well as far as I am concerned this father WAS been judgemental if he is bringing something everyday for the OP’s child. He is giving the message that it’s not possible for a child to go out of school and not have something to eat straight away. And that THIS IS THE RIGHT WAY OF DOING THINGS.
Would have been different as a one off for course...

So maybe read the whole OP up to the end and remove the biased associated with foreign and youll get a better picture of what is happening.

[HermioneGoesBackHome]

Andhow yep I agree. There is an undercurrent of xenophobia on this thread that doesn’t make nice reading tbh

[AllesAusLiebe]

I thought I was just being sensitive, but I’m pleased that others have pointed out that there are some really unpleasant comments on here with a definite xenophobic tone.

[FlapAttack23]

Mine gets a 6 pack of creme eggs pre drop.off each pick up.. keeps him happy

[lifetothefull]

Fortunately it doesn't happen too much at dd's school. When it does, it isn't a case of 'Each to their own', as dd spots it and starts on the age old 'How come they get to have xyz?' routine. Now and again I'm happy to brush that one off, but like you op, it would annoy me if I had to manage every day being made to feel like the big meanie who doesn't bring in junk.

[GreenGrassAndClover]

I’ve noticed people take bags of sweets for their children sometimes, I only wish they wouldn’t, because it drives my child mad.

But to be honest, the thing that annoyed me was someone in our class taking GIANT number birthday balloons for their child to school, when they collected them at home time.

AGGGHHH ! Don’t they realise all the children will want this too.

( so annoying ) 😀🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈🎈

[blueberryporridge]

If kids abroad can manage without it, why the insistence that British kids need it?

I lived in Switzerland for a while. I can remember at least one Swiss child who was given some sweets or biscuits every day when he came out of school.

I'm guessing that if you know your child needs some food quickly at the end of the school day, you will bring something for him/her regardless of your nationality.

Mine don't normally need a snack at the school gate but they certainly need something by the time we get home each day.

[stayathomer]

Yanbu because parents shouldn't let other kids even see that they have food, it should be done on the go so there's no bad feelings. BUT I think there are people going ott here. I bring crackers for everyone every day that I give when we're away from the rest of the kids as a welcome thing and a well done for a good day's work. On a Friday they get a pkt of stickers or a biscuit or even a bar of chocolate. My kids are not overweight, they're not brats and they can take the word 'no' easily. There are some ridiculous generalisations and general hoighty toityness on this thread, but there's meanness on both sides!

[PurpleTigerLove]

I haven’t witnessed this at our primary school . Sounds very common to be eating straight out of the classroom . Have they no self control ?