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AIBU?

to be really upset and hurt by dp's comments

62 replies

namechangerasscared · 27/05/2007 16:50

Ok I am a regular m'ner but have changed my name as am really ashamed by my situation. My dp keeps going on about my weight (i am about 2 stone overweight) and when i eat things he says things like "are you sure you need that" I find it really hurtful, now he has suggested i join a gym, but we have 5 children and really dont think i could find the time energy or even inclination to start going to the gym? AIBU or selfish. another thing is he complains about ahem down there and keeps not so subtly suggesting i do some more pelvic floor exercises so that "he can feel something down there" I feel really upset and hurt and also a little ashamed

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DeviousDaffodil · 27/05/2007 17:07

He sounds like a control freak to me.
I f your pelvic floor musclees are that weak see your GP.
There are electric toners that you can get.This may help.
Washing up once a week what a hero.

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namechangerasscared · 27/05/2007 17:06

He is quite overweight too but doesn't seem to think thats a roblem!

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namechangerasscared · 27/05/2007 17:04

he doesnt like me going out much as it is his house we moved into and he is very particular about keeping it clean and tidy. But he said he wouldn't mind washing up after dinner one night a week for me so I could go to the gym if I wanted.

I do sometimes wee a little when i laugh too, but surely that is fairly normal after 5 children???

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Jaspermatthews · 27/05/2007 17:02

you ould try, apparently they take time to strengthen.do they feel weak to you iykwim?

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Judy1234 · 27/05/2007 17:02

Poor you. No one would agree he's approaching this right. May be there are ways he can help you lose the two stone though. Does he need to lose weight too? You could do it together.
If he's not happy with the sex I suppose at least he's communicating. More oral sex?

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namechangerasscared · 27/05/2007 17:01

we have been togther for 2 and a half years only 1 of the dc's are his the other 4 are from a previous relationship.

i do feel that sex isnt the same as it used to be but tbh doubt pelvic floor exercises will make much difference

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DeviousDaffodil · 27/05/2007 16:58

Poor you. Men can be so unkind, this is bordering on bullying behaviour.
If he starts again ask him if he is willing to look after kids while you go to gym/ out etc. He is undermining your self esteem.
Do you want to loose weight?
If you don't tell him to get stuffed. As for down ther maybe he is not BIG enough to touch the sides!

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Jaspermatthews · 27/05/2007 16:58

does he give you any free time to maybe go out alone? so you ould go out to exercise if you wanted to?

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Jaspermatthews · 27/05/2007 16:56

love, you have 5 children, of course going to the gym isn't the first thing on your mind.

do you think you need to do pelvic floor exercises? they are easy to do.

of ourse i mean that your dp is nasty by saying these things too. hope you are ok?

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Thelittlesoldiersmummy · 27/05/2007 16:55

What an arse sorry but I know how you feel although my DH says things not to hurt but does he was talking about a building this morning and said it was massive with a little entry then said a bit like you! and wondered why I got upset! I really do think that they forget to think sometimes x

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lissie · 27/05/2007 16:55

sounds nice how long have you been together?

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pageturner · 27/05/2007 16:55

Blimey, he's a charmer isn't he?!

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