AIBU? School says sports day on Saturday is compulsory

[weekendsareforfamily]

My son is in year one, so second sports day now. Last year it was scheduled on a Saturday but the weather was bad so was cancelled and rearranged for a Tuesday afternoon. This year it is planned for this coming Saturday. My boy has a swimming lesson from 09:30, the children have to be in school for 09:00.
On the FB group chat someone has asked whether they have to go as they are working and cannot get the child to school. The receptionist has replied saying yes as its a compulsory day and we have all known about this since September last year.
Now I was planning on popping into the reception to say my boy wouldn't make it because he's swimming but now I am worried I will be told tough and that I knew about this so should be bringing him in. I am worried I will be fined if he doesn't attend but it's a Saturday?! Do I tell the truth and risk a fine? Do I lie and make up another reason? Do I lose out on the money I have already paid for his swimming lessons (we have already lost out on two from going away at last half term)? Arrrgh
WWYD? Thanks

[weekendsareforfamily]

Yes, I will ignore all the other times I have attended out of school hours meetings and performances. I will ignore the money and donations I give to the school to raise funds for the children. I am such a terrible parent for not understanding why a school thinks it's fine to take away the children's weekend when they are spending these past few week practising for sports day rather than their usual lessons. I know no other state school from my history or friends/family that have a sports day on a Saturday. The summer fete that was to follow is cancelled btw.

[BewareOfDragons]

Just don't go.

My children have sporting commitments at weekends and evenings. Their TEAMS rely on them to show up to their matches, so they have missed school plays and would skip a stupid primary school sports day for a proper sporting event/commitment.

[Iamtryingtobenicehere]

Sorry to be crude but ..... bollox to that. Weekend is for family time, school doesn’t get a consideration. Swimming lessons take priority. As does anything else you normally schedule.

[my2bundles]

To repeat, not attending sports day or other event has nothing to do with not supporting the school. We all have other commitments, some which we carnt reorganise even with all the notice in the world. We also prioritise other things over school events, things that hold more importance at the time or hints that we are 100%commited to. Why is that so hard for a handful of posters to comprehend?

[TorviBrightspear]

I am just truly bemused that with one year's notice a parent can't make the effort to turn up to one single Saturday event. Shows a massive lack of commitment to the school.

I am chair of a PTA. I organise and volunteer at many events for the DCs secondary school, raising a good sum of money.

I also would not commit the DCs to a Saturday sports day. If the event was that important, the school should be holding it in the normal school week. Even a year's notice is irrelevant. At present, I have two disabled parents who could end up in hospital at any time, and I also believe my DCs should have the chance for downtime after homework is done.

[BakedBeans47]

Ignore the sanctimonious posts and blithering on about “enrichment activities”. Even if I could make it I wouldn’t go. Schools call the shots enough (rightfully so) without pulling a stunt like this. It certainly doesn’t make you “unsupportive” if you don’t go.

[ChocolateWombat]

The school my child goes to has 2 compulsory Saturday events during the year...they are published over a year in advance. Probably 95% of the children attend them and it is part of the culture of children to go, and of parents to organise thing so their children can attend. Many parents are also at these events.

People go whether it's cold or hot, wet or dry, convenient or not so convenient. Those events make a difference to the experience of school and build its culture. I'm glad that the parents understand it is important and support those 2 events, even when they might prefer to do something else. And I want my children to go to a school where parents take this attitude......isn't this part of why parents move their children...because in some schools parents just aren't supportive enough, and the implications of that permeate everything about the school.

In some schools, the culture isn't to simply expect to support and attend, but to expect to not support and attend, and particularly to feel annoyed about any suggestion of being to,d what to do or that something is strongly recommended or compulsory.

This isn't really just about sports day but about attitudes towards supporting schools....not just supporting our own children, but recognising that in supporting the school itself we Indirectly support our own children too. If this is the big one off Saturday event of the year where they ask everyone not to be there, actually attending or not attending is pretty indicative if your level of support. Yes, one or two people will have to go to a wedding, but those who choose not to go to the one 'compulsory' event if the year that they were to,d about a year before, because of something like a simple swimming lesson are simply not willing to profile ise the school on this one occasion.

[SunnyShades]

@weekendsareforfamily

"Taking the children's weekend away"

Ignoring the fact that even if the event was over the whole weekend(in which case you should still support it), you have 51 other weekends to have family time and do whatever else.

This is a few hours out of one weekend a year. The school is quite right to impose sanctions on DC and parents who can't be bothered. I'd be imposing detentions on DC to make up the time missed.

[butlerswharf]

What @Teacherontherun says

[ikeepaforkinmypurse]

Sports day on a Saturday in a state school! I am impressed, what a great idea!

It means all the teachers are giving up their own Saturday, which cannot be easy with childcare. The majority of parents tend to work Monday to Friday -everybody seemed to have had to book a day off around me - so the school is trying to be more inclusive to all. Of course there are some shift workers, you cannot include absolutely everybody, but that school is impressive.

For a one-off in a year with a year warning? Yes, I would take my kids, it sounds a shame to make they miss out.

Schools can't win, whenever they organise something, there's always going to be one parent who complains.

[my2bundles]

I support my child's school, he and I are also committed to his sport if choice EVERY SATURDAY. We are not going to let his club, coach and team down because some random on the internet wrongly assumes we don't support his school.

[TorviBrightspear]

I'd be imposing detentions on DC to make up the time missed.

No you wouldn't. It's a Saturday. Compulsory schooling is Monday to Friday, and any school trying to give detentions for an activity taking place out of hours will be on a hiding to nothing.

[user546425732]

@mrsm43s Education can be a priority of parents without sending your children to school on a Saturday. Mine have never been to school on a Saturday yet have had the full benefit of the education on offer and have been picked for any number of sports teams all without missing any academic education or family time. Your post is smug and misguidedly so as all it does is highlight the fact that you are paying for an expensive education for your children when mine are getting the same benefits at a state school and still have their weekends free.

[SunnyShades]

Compulsory schooling is Monday to Friday

Wrong. Compulsory schooling is whenever the school wants it to be, which just so happens to usually be Monday to Friday. But some schools do have compulsory Saturday morning school.

Compulsory schooling could be on Monday evenings and Sunday mornings if schools wanted.

[PuppyMonkey]

There's really no other time in the whole school year that they can hold Sports Day other than a Saturday? Barmy.

They've only got themselves to blame if people don't turn up imho.

Now Spirits Day I could get on board with though...

[bunbunny]

I don't think it matters that the school arrange it a year in advance - it's still a saturday and people still have things that they commit to on a regular basis on weekend days - just as they do after school and if the school tried to make you stay late for something.

I would tell them that they didn't give you enough notice, that you have an ongoing commitment on a Saturday morning so won't be there, and that if they are thinking of having it on a Saturday morning next year too, then you're giving notice now that you won't be able to make it then either as you know that your commitment will still be ongoing.

If they do try to fine you (which I thought was only if you took dc out of school for more than 5 days holiday or lots of absences, rather than a single morning/day) then I would ask them to show you the relevant law that enables them to fine you for not sending your child in on a non-compulsory school day.

If they find the law then unfortunately it's tough but chances are there isn't one and there will be nothing they can do about it. They have absolutely no right to demand that children are in during non-designated school hours.

And if they get snotty with you about it, ask to see their risk assessment for having their sports day in 28+ degrees heat, blazing sun, (no shade? minimal shade?) particularly for young dc (who overheat more quickly than adults and will have more sensitive skin), pointing out that you believe that running an event in such conditions is a serious failure to safeguard the health and safety of pupils, teachers and parents. As such, you have done your own risk assessment and found that as a responsible parent, there is no way that you can allow your dc or yourselves to take part in such an event, whether it is on a Saturday or a Tuesday - it's still a safeguarding failure.

I bet if you put something along those lines on the facebook page you would get a lot of others that would join in and agree with you.

Bummer for the school and their event, but that's what happens when you have a summer sports day. You frequently run the risk that it will be rained off - and occasionally run the risk that it will be too hot to have it safely.

[ChocolateWombat]

Hey ho! I simply know that I'd rather my DC were in a school where on the 2 Saturday events of the year which the school ask all children to attend, about 95% are there. Many of those would otherwise be at a regular Saturday activity, many of the parents have re-arranged stuff to get their kids there and some have faced an inconvenience. I'm glad they have done that, because the events work and hugely add to the school culture becaue almost everyone is there...if only half turned up, it would be totally different. We chose the school because if lots of things, but much if the school's academic and pastoral success is connected to parental support and in choosing the school, I felt we too had to choose to be supportive parents - of those 2 Saturday events and also of other school stuff too as it crops up - we expect to attend things and for our DC to attend. It doesn't mean we have no out of school activities or family time, but we sometimes will make changes for school activities, although thankfully most are publicised well in advance.

If most people have the attitude of those on this thread, I guess the OPs school sports day will be a flop because not many people will go. It does make me wonder what the level of support is for the school generally and also how people would measure what 'supporting the school' actually looks like.

[Dancergirl]

What's the reason for it being on a Saturday? Why not during the week like the vast majority of schools?

Although I suppose it might be better for some working parents to attend if it's on a weekend.

OP, don't stress and don't bother hassling the school with questions. If you're happy for your ds to miss swimming then go (or go late), if not don't bother! The school won't even chase it up with you if he's not there.

[PieAndPumpkins]

What a load of baloney. It's not compulsory, they're lying. They would not be allowed to make a Saturday compulsory or fine you.

[BertrandRussell]

I assume it’s a private school? You normally have to pay for this sort of crap!

If it isn’t, OP, just say no. They can’t insist.

[PolkerrisBeach]

We get endless moaning from parents at our school when sports day is scheduled in advance for a weekday morning and they either can't get time off work, or it's cancelled because of rain multiple times and they can't make the rearranged dates.

Endless whingeing about how schools don't consider working parents, how it's unfair that SAHMs are the only ones who go, whining about how little Jimmy will have nobody to cheer him on because Mum's down the pit.

And then when a school tries to recognise these issues and books it in on a saturday morning to accommodate more working parents, they bitch about that too.

If I were the Headteacher I'd be thinking "fuck the lot of you, we're not having sports day any more and your kids can just do more maths."

[SunnyShades]

We have a clear policy at my school towards unsupportive parents like this- get in line or ship out.

If parents can't even support a sports day, how are you going to rely on them when a DC needs disciplined? The worst schools tend to be those with the least supportive parents, which is why we don't tolerate any at our place.

[Orchidflower1]

Have they got a day off in Lieu of the sports day?

[Pengggwn]

I wouldn't bother if I was the Head. I'd have a school-only Sports Day, an hour or two on a Friday morning, no parents invited.

I couldn't be arsed with this level of whinging.

[StroppyWoman]

Wouldn't it be easy to do both?
Advise the class teacher your child won't arrive until 10:30 because of swimming lessons, but will be there for the second half. That way your child participates AND gets the swimming lesson you are concerned about