To wish there wasn't a stigma attached to being trans?

[OrderMeAnotherCurry]

For context, I am a transwoman. I know that it is impossible to change sex and that I am male and always will be. I can continue to take hormones and have surgery to make my body resemble that of a woman but I know I will never actually be a woman.

I don't want to ramble too much and I just want to get to the point but in my darkest days I used to hate the fact I was male and would never be able to change that. I was self harming, attempting suicide, starving myself, etc because I hated it that much and didn't know how to deal with it.

I know that as I have gotten older and learned how to deal with my issues without feeling the need to turn in on myself, I have also began to accept that I am not female and that is okay. I am trans and there is nothing wrong with that.

I wish that I was able to shout loud and proud that I am trans but I feel like everywhere I look it feels like I am being pushed into having to say that I'm a woman and that I'm being pushed into pretending to be something that I'm not.

Women deal with things that I as a transwoman will never have to and likewise I have to go through things women never will. Acknowledging those differences between us shouldn't be viewed as a bad thing or branded as being bigoted or transphobic. We deserve rights and protections but we need different rights and protections to that of women because we are different. Different does not mean lesser than or worse.

I think if there wasn't a stigma attached to being trans then we wouldn't need to have people insisting that transwomen are women as if being different is some kind of dirty secret.

I don't think it's doing anyone any favours to constantly pretend that we are exactly the same and don't need different kind of support when it comes to services such as mental health support, rape crisis and domestic violence, etc.

Perhaps we need to move away from the idea that being different is somehow othering or viewed as being a bad or shameful thing. Perhaps we need to embrace these differences instead.

[Changednamesorry]

thank you. this thread is excellent.

[LurpakIsTheOnlyButter]

I haven't read the other posts.i don't care what anyone else thinks. I think MN has become very feminist/transphobe/packofwankers lately.

I think whoever you are is whoever you should be, become, or continue to be.

Bugger the rampant right wing feminists. Being a person, be it male/female/trans/whatever just be who you are. And be happy.

[Noqont]

I haven't read the other posts.i don't care what anyone else thinks. I think MN has become very feminist/transphobe/packofwankers lately

Without even reading the posts how can you even come to that conclusion

[LurpakIsTheOnlyButter]

I was referring to all the transwomen shouldn't be allowed to share changing rooms etc posts of late, not that everyone on this thread was a wanker.

But MN seems to be a hatey place of late for trans people.

I just wanted to say I am not one of them

[LadyMisty]

I don't know an awful lot about this, I only know what I think about it, and please forgive me if anything I say is wrong or offensive as I'm not intending to be offensive to anyone. Whilst I believe that biologically we can never change what we are born as, I also believe that a person can live as whatever makes them happy, or whatever makes them the most comfortable with themselves. A person can be born male and identify as a woman, but that does it make them a woman, the same as me wanting to identify as a 21 year old, but I will never be 21. It just cannot happen, biologically.
I've read a few posts about trans women shouldn't be allowed to use women's toilets, and I personally don't understand the reasons as to why people don't want them to. A bit about what I read was that women wouldn't feel safe with a trans woman in a female toilet. But I really don't get this, because there's nothing stopping a man from walking into a female toilet. If a man is wanting to do something bad to a woman a "women" sign on a toilet door is not going to stop him.
I am personally happy for a trans woman to use female toilets as it's where she feels more comfortable.
There's a lot I don't understand though. I don't understand the struggles of a trans woman, because I am not a trans woman. I can imagine some of the struggles but I do not personally know them. The same as a trans woman can imagine some of the struggles of a woman but will not personally know them.
Curry I really do admire you for speaking out. I wish these were issues you didn't have to face. I wish you could just be you without all the politics. I hope one day soon you will feel safe and not feel as though you have to be either one or the other.
I hope that came across well. Curry, I hope the future brings about the changes and the acceptance that you deserve.

[BuntyII]

YANBU. I do feel angry on behalf of trans women (and trans men) who have gone through the process of gender reassignment, have their gender recognition certificate, all the trauma, expense, pain and hassle that comes with such a long ordeal. Only for the government to consider bringing in self ID.

Anyway, be proud of who you are. But if you would ever like to be considered a woman, I would be only too happy to oblige.