Not to feel happy for Ruth Davidson?

[highinthesky]

I have no love for Conservative politics but I have long thought that Ruth Davidson is a force for good.

I am also overjoyed when I hear that friends are expecting babies. I'm always pleased for acquaintances or even public figures that I've never met when details of a new baby are revealed. Having a child is a magical, wonderful part of life.

My natural reaction to the announcement of Ruth Davidson's pregnancy is not happiness, but surprise and then envy. She's such a capable and warm person, my logical brain knows she would be a good parent. So why was my response so dissonant?

This is so unlike me. What is wrong with me?

[TooExtraImmatureCheddar]

I’m with smiths - I like Ruth, how can she be a Tory?

I was surprised because I assumed she was all out for her career and maybe replacing Teresa May one day. But she is young and has years ahead of her to do that in.

[Shenanagins]

I think it would still be in the news as she’s a senior political figure (opposition leader in Scotland) and pregnant. It was certainly big news when it was announced that Tony Blair was to become a father again whilst in office.

[LittlePaintBox]

I wanted a DC3 but never fell pregnant, and I used to feel terribly jealous of others having DC3 ,4, 5 or more. I came to terms with it eventually as a) I know so many people who haven't been able to have children at all b) I had postnatal depression twice, so probably a good thing not to have to go through it again.

There is a touch of 'having it all' about Ruth Davidson, but she seems so happy about her pregnancy I can't help but feel a bit happy for her.

[PaintedHorizons]

I was annoyed - but I often am by public announcements. So you're going to have a baby -it's no big deal for anyone but you. And if she were a straight man no-one would bother.

I do have kids but they were a long time coming (circumstances not infertility) and I used to hate that smug "big announcement" that some, (by no means all) made.












9

[PaintedHorizons]

ps - doesn't mean it is wrong or I wish anyone ill - just expressing an irrational feeling in the spirit of the OP.
(And no idea where that random 9 came from)

[elkiedee]

I was a bit annoyed by something on the radio just now - she was adamant that nothing is going to change and she can make it look easy. She can presumably afford the kind of flexible childcare she will probably need when she returns from maternity leave, but it's not so easy for many women in Scotland and the rest of Britain.

[Amortentia]

I’m not sure how you like someone who has tried to justify the rape clause for tax credit claimants. Lucky for her child it won’t end up living in poverty, unlink the many other children in the uk who will thanks to her party.

[Queenofwands]

I don’t think she is rolling in it. Didn’t she have to put off her wedding to pay a big vet bill for her pet dog? Politicians who don’t use their position to feather their own nests are not rich.

[DannyConcannon]

I have an instinctive mistrust of Tories, but have always liked Ruth Davidson, basically because she seems like a good laugh. Was definitely pleased for her when I heard the news.

[lonelyplanetmum]

I also mistrust Tories especially at the moment, but agree RD seems better than many other choices available.

I too had an unexpectedly weird reaction, as normally happy for any baby news.

My first thought was, great for them, but I wonder why can't her partner carry the baby?! Then RD can pursue her career with less disruption? I then gave myself a very severe talking to:

1. I don't know them and know nothing about their relationship, fertility, partner's career, health etc.
2. It's their private decision who carries the baby.
3. Why on earth should I endorse a view that maternity leave and parenthood impairs your career?

No need to chastise me, I've already done it myself.

[lonelyplanetmum]

Also thinking about an earlier post, it was completely sexist of me.

There was definitely an element of 'oh well you won't be as much use in saving our broken politics for a while '. I would not have had that reaction if she was a bloke.

[Kokeshi123]

Oh, is RD herself going to carry the baby? Somehow I assumed it would be her partner! Still, I am guessing that babycare tends (in general) to be split in a more equitable way in two-woman households (though it would be interesting to look at research to see if my assumption is true).

I don't agree with all of RD's politics but hope she has an easy and happy pregnancy.

[lonelyplanetmum]

Oh,I don't actually know.I assumed it was RD who was pregnant as she made some references to having to sit down or leave a debating chamber or something.See that is interesting! I feel better about it if it is her partner carrying it.Ridiculous. I will take a very feminist platform about maternity and motherhood not affecting women's careers.

(Apart from a post referendum increased interest in politics why am I interested at all!)

[LokiBear]

Shedding have trouble concieving. It was an active decision not to have children that she changed her mind about. She fell pregnant quickly when she did. As someone who has lost a baby and also struggled with TTC I would be sympathetic to that. Not the case though.

[LokiBear]

She didnt^

[MyotherUsernameisaPun]

@LokiBear that isn't true. She had IVF which was successful and that's why she's now pregnant. And for PPs upthread it is Ruth carrying the baby not her partner.

[SadWinky]

MPs and MSPs aren't allowed to take parental leave as they're not considered employees so any mat leave arrangements she will have had to arrange informally www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.newstatesman.com/politics/feminism/2018/04/ruth-davidson-having-baby-mps-still-can-t-take-parental-leave-0%3Famp

[Rufustheconstantreindeer]

Don't feel bad. I always say that when a horrible judgemental voice says something nasty in your head and then a second voice asks 'wtf why do I think that?' the first voice is the way you've been socialised and the second voice is who you're choosing to be - which is much more important!

Excellent

[BringMeTea]

Myotherusername that is such a helpful notion. I shall try to remember that.

OP I reckon it's a complicated combination of things. Your feeling that you won't have another dc, socialization regarding gay women and sperm donation, envy of financial resources to 'make it happen'? Just musing.

[SerenDippitty]

I was mildly disappointed. I'm always pleased when public figures/celebs "come out as being childfree by choice or are honest about being sad about not having them. Not that I wish that on anyone, it pregnant celebs are rather worshipped. I wish M&s Davidson well though.

[highinthesky]

MyOtherIsername - I appreciate your words of wisdom.

On reflection I think it's likely that I envy her for getting her shit together and planning a pregnancy despite a lack of a male partner. For me the time has been and gone.

[Queenofwands]

Reading between the lines I think her partner was the preferred biological mother but had issues conceiving. I think Ruth then decided to step in. That’s a tricky situation as there can be some jealousy from the partner .... good luck to them both, I hope it all goes well.

[PeachMelba78]

My family and I were actually interviewed on this very subject! If you want to watch it, you can view through iPlayer (BBC2 Scotland TimeLine 26th April) or here - m.youtube.com/watch?v=jj5Php1CaXg

[SadWinky]

What a gorgeous family @PeachMelba78 ! Thank you for sharing that

[PeachMelba78]

@SadWinky thank you! I hope we normalise what it’s like to be same sex parents