Flatmate gave her BF a key

[QuestionableMouse]

In uni accommodation. Flatmate was in her room. Her boyfriend opens the flat door with the key and comes in. We'd both been in for about an hour when it happened.

I really need a shower but I don't want to go in while he's here (something about him makes me deeply uncomfortable.) He shouldn't have the key, should he? I feel really unsettled knowing he can walk in whenever he likes. I thought he'd done the same the other night but convinced myself that flatmate was with him.

Thinking about reporting it to the accom office tomorrow but I don't know if I'm over reacting.

[LittlePaintBox]

I'd go straight to the accommodation office, if you speak to her and she doesn't take the key off him you're no further on.

[Viviennemary]

I would report it to the accommodation officer. And I wouldn't want my DD sharing with such an irresponsible person. But I suppose there could be an innocent explanation like he just borrowed the key to pick up something. But even so it's not quite right.

[GreenFingersWouldBeHandy]

I remember your halloween post.

If you've only got 2 weeks to go I'd just leave it. Or you'll just be in a really sh*tty atmosphere for the rest of the time you're there.

[SlothMama]

Seeing as you've only got two weeks I'd report her, if she's made a copy of her key that'll probably be in breach of your tenancy agreement. In all of my student accommodation (uni and private) I had to sign an agreement which stated I must not make further copies of the keys. It's a safety risk, what will happen at the end of your tenancy? He could potentially use that key to gain access as the office won't know to collect it.

[NamechangerT1000]

Agree that she sounds a massive pain in the arse OP! Good luck

[ReanimatedSGB]

TBH, maddening as this selfish cunt is, I think your best option probably is sticking it out. Because there's only two weeks to go, so the accommodation office is very unlikely to be able to move you now, and complaining about her is just going to lead to even more aggravation.

[Sugarpiehoneyeye]

OP, don't mess about here, sort it out today, you've given her a chance to speak, she abused it with lies.
Your peace of mind and safety are paramount. Off you pop ....... 😄

[TomRavenscroft]

Definitely report.

And I thought I recognised your name –she's the 'Halloween decorations are offensive' entitled madam, isn't she?

[Gemini69]

she sounds like a pain in the arse OP

[WeirdyMcBeardy]

"complaining that some paper decorations I'd hung on my door were offensive... I could go on!)"

Oh I remember that thread! She's a twat and a liar. Definitely report it.

[SuperLoudPoppingAction]

Oh is this the Halloween decoration weirdo?

Good luck!
It's so disrespectful of her to do this to you.

[FizzyGreenWater]

Oh right.

Report away - tell the uni office she's antisocial, and also that she lied flat out to you about the boyfriend. They may be able to give her a warning. Or black mark her for next year.

And plan an all-night blender party the night before you go, especially if it's the night before one of her exams.

Alternatively, get a pack of prawns, out of date if you can, take a couple out, and tuck them away under her bed in a corner, or in a spot where they won't be noticed. Should start stinking nicely after a few days. 'haven't seen you lately ShitFlatMate, what's that, you've been staying at OafBoyf's place as there's a smell in your room? What a shame, I miss you both'

[SD1978]

Stupid lag. If you’re already moving out in two weeks, do what you feel works best.

[SD1978]

I think you need to talk to her first. Going straight to reporting, unless you also plan on moving out, is going to make for a very uncomfortable rest of the year. It’s completley reasonable that you don’t want him to have a key, I wouldn’t in the same circumstances, but approach her first.

[QuestionableMouse]

My course only runs for two more weeks and after that I'll be (mostly) back home so not much point in asking for a move. She's a very entitled person- highlights include blending late (after 1am) at night, constantly slamming doors, complaining that some paper decorations I'd hung on my door were offensive... I could go on!)

And next year I'm going in private halls with single studio rooms to avoid all this stress again!

[FizzyGreenWater]

She won't get evicted though because they can't prove it, and she's clearly not scared of lying to you about it so she'll be the same with them.

What outcome do you want from this? - is always a good question. Focus on that.

For me, I'd want to feel safe and happy in my home. So the actual solution would be to move, because living with her (not just having him around) is be definition not safe. If she broke up with him, she'd give a key to the next one, probably. Current boyfriend might even keep a copy of the key he has now if they did break up... The whole thing has alarm bells. You DON'T do this when you share flats - she'd rightly feel horrified in return at the thought of some random bloke you knew being able to access the flat when she might be in it alone.

She's the problem - so move.

[FizzyGreenWater]

Honestly, if this is the person she is - I would cut straight to the chase here and see if you can get a transfer of accommodation, if it's uni flats.

She sounds a pretty bad flatmate, she's willing to lie to you over this so you aren't going to end up winning here - she'll deny it to the accommodation office, he'll still have a key but be more careful about using it, and you'll still spend your time feeling uncomfortable about a guy your senses tell you isn't great, only difference will be that your flatmate will go to greater lengths to hide it from you OR be pissed off and aggressive with you instead.

Ask for a move.

[QuestionableMouse]

I spoke to her this morning and she denied it, telling me I must have misheard and that he didn't let himself in because she'd got up to open the door (she 100% didn't- I heard the key in the door and her door didn't open). Planning to speak to the accom people this afternoon and see what they say.

[Doobigetta]

It depends whether he had her key, or she has given him a copy. The former I wouldn't worry about because he'll have to give it back- he can't keep it and let himself in when she isn't there. But the latter isn't on and I'd report it.

[QuestionableMouse]

Thanks. I don't want her to be evicted but at the same time I don't want a strange man walking in whenever he feels like it.

[UtterlyRainbowed]

Your University will do something.

We all had to sign for our keys and they were these weird super secure ones - each one opened the main door, eight would open a specific flat and one would open a specific bedroom. No other key could fit in any other bedroom lock.

Except that four of us accidentally (complete drunken mistake) found out our keys opened the flat above's door. They were really nice about it and made us chips (we knew them and had them in our flat regularly) but were, understandably, not feeling comfortable about the lack of security. They asked, as a security concern, if they could try our keys in their locks - mine opened two doors. The following day they asked if they could try their keys in our locks and not one of their keys worked. We mentioned it to the Accommodation Office and they came round and tested all of the keys in all of the locks. As a result all flats had locks changed, as did some bedrooms.

They would take this seriously too. If we key shared/had keys cut we were immediately evicted. One of the girls in the flat below passed her key out of the window to a friend to get into the building and she was evicted because someone reported it.

If he makes you feel uncomfortable then listen to your gut

[QuestionableMouse]

I was in a big thick robe and still felt naked. He's very big and very loud and just creeps me out. I'll pop into the office tomorrow and see what they say.

[kaytee87]

Report.

In the meantime, take your clothes into the bathroom so you can dress in there before walking out.

[CocoaGin]

No way is that acceptable. I'd report her. She'll just lie and say he's returned it.
You're not sharing a flat with him and he doesn't need a key.