To ask how many of you are truly happy?

[Jojojingle]

I went out with 3 friends for dinner tonight and all they did was moan about how unhappy they are with their life, they seemed genuinely shocked when I told them I loved my life and seemed to take that as an insult?
I’m 35, two dd’s aged 3 &7, no husband, average job.
My life is by no means perfect but I’m happier than I’ve ever been, I earn an average wage and have no spare money, dh left us 2 years ago so I had to move to a smaller house next door to my parents but I like that because we’re close and my dd’s get to see them everyday and dh was a waste of space anyway. My friends have always got trouble with their boyfriends/husbands which I’m so glad I don’t have (I’m staying single for the foreseeable) but they still try and get me to start dating again, they moan about how their children behave and one even keeps telling us she wishes she had never had her ds. They are the only friends I have really and I spend all my time at work or with my kids but I’m genuinely loving life right now.
I guess what I’m asking is are you truly happy in life? Are my friends just moaning for the sake of it?

[minionsrule]

I'm a believer of life is what you make of it.
Yes i am happy, i have all that i need. Is DH perfect in every way? Nope but if i sat and wrung my hands at his imperfections it would make us both unhappy. Am i perfect? Defo no lol.
Everyone has different standards of what makes them happy... some people never are.

[bumblingbovine49]

No, I would say I have been pretty unhappy most of my life for one reason or another but I try not to moan at when out socialising as it is soo demoralising for others (and for me)

So if I had been out with you Op, I would have focussed on talking about other things and acting cheerful. It is so boring to have to listen to people moan about partners, weight, jobs etc

Than again it means very few people know me very well

[Kingsclerelass]

Yes. Just me and beautiful ds. Good job, nice boss, a home I like and (a little bit of) money in the bank. No-one moaning, criticising or generally being dissatisfied. I might be tempting fate but life is good. 😊 I know I am v lucky.

[comingintomyown]

I am happy generally but have worked quite hard at it over the years and still do really. I have an extremely good life and appreciate the small stuff but am prone to self pity at times rather than unhappiness per se.
What’s annoying is the main things that aren’t really how I want - hate my job and need to lose weight/address alcohol - are within my gift to change but I have dragged my feet and I know they impact on my happiness levels.
As has already been said though I think happiness is an emotion that comes and goes sometimes a few times a day !

[comingintomyown]

Agree bumbling I never really talk about my weight or the fact that after 8 years single I wouldn’t mind some action , I expect that’s more to do with feeling uncomfortable about it though than sparing my friends

[biscuitaddict]

I have friends like this, they like to bitch and moan about their OHs and I refuse to join in! It makes me a bit cross because it's not like they want any real advice either just for a 'yeah me too' type validation. I consider myself happy so I avoid the topic if possible!

[Elementtree]

Yeah, I'm good.

I'm not happy all the time but I snap back quickly when things go south. I'm a relentless optimist - it's a delusion that works well for me.

[brogueish]

Me! I am.

Life's not perfect of course, but I am hugely grateful for what I have and I fully appreciate that everything could be so much worse. There but for the grace of god, and all that. The journey's not been easy but I feel very lucky to be where I am now.

[Dandellion]

Yes I'm genuinely really happy with my life. I married exactly the right man for me, even after all these years I am still head over heels in love with him and fancy him to death Our teenage DCs are honestly lovely and never any trouble, doing really well at school and lots of good friends. We don't have any money worries and can afford whatever we want (within reason). Have nice circle of friends and am close to my family. It's just all really, really good and I know I'm incredibly lucky.

[Xenia]

Genuinely very happy indeed. I am very lucky however as I am just about am never ill and am never mentally ill either. Those two things alone make it much more likely I am happy.

[lilybetsy]

I agree with those who said you have to work at being happy. Yup have to consider all the things you have that are blessings and be happy for them. Forge connections, smile, appreciate the small things...

I am happy now, for the first time in more than 18 years, because I am in control of my life. No abusive man making my life, and my children’s lives, miserable ...

😊

[Ronnyhotdog]

Some days I’m happy, some days I’m miserable. That’s life. I can moan with the best of them.

[user5292769]

I'm happy, I'm 34 and I have a devoted DH, two beautiful children, a lovely home, a wonderful extended family, good friends and a well paid, if slightly stressful job. I'm very lucky.

[BendydickCuminsnatch]

Me me me!

Am very lucky/have great circumstances, but equally have very moany friends with similar lives/finances etc. I think a lot of it comes down to frame of mind. I'm very good at perspective/reframing. Even on my blue days, at the core I'm very happy and sunny and grateful. Also very aware shit could hit the fan at any moment, so that helps appreciativeness.

[8FencingWire]

I’m on the road to happiness. Although extrinsic factors can bring happiness, at the end of the day it’s how my mind perceives it.
Happiness is inner peace. Contentment.

I’ve got my little ‘rituals’ that bring me happiness, but mainly a clear untroubled mind is what makes me happiest.
The ability to tacle what may come with a positive attitude is happiness.

[Isadora666]

Somewhere in the middle. The #feelingblessed brigade nauseate me but the dreary rain clouds of doom can also be intolerable.

[inthekitchensink]

I was. I mostly am but after consecutive migraines and feeling my good days being robbed by them I’m getting unbearably depressed again. But I know I was happy.

[Lavender928]

I think I’m many cases when one person’s life changes for better (or worse) the rest including friends stays the same.
There are lots of moaners and it can be quite tiring when all they do is moan but never do anything to change the situation. I used to feel bad not wanting to be around people like this but after hitting rock bottom I avoid them if I can. Meet every now and then but not too often. It can become a bit toxic. And as it was said before we create our un/happiness.
On the other hand we all have bad days and it’s good to have friends we can talk to to get it out though not all the time.
Enjoy your happiness :)

[FireplaceLover]

All of those on this thread saying, ‘life is what you make it’ and ‘happiness is in your own hands’ I don’t think can have lost a close loved one such as a child. Or be like us and have a child with severe autism. I am thankfully not a bereaved Mum but my friend who is would never consider herself happy. She’s 11yrs on and it’s still raw. Since then she has never found joy in anything including her surviving children. Who am I to judge? For me, it’s never having more than 3hours sleep on the trot, no family holidays, no eating out, no spontaneity, my other children not being able to ever bring friends home, being covered in bruises oh and finding poo all around the house; daily. I am blessed that all 3 are healthy but it’s worth keeping in mind that it’s not just about being an inherently joyful person.

[Sparklesocks]

Yes.
Some things could be better, i wish I was a bit thinner, a bit richer, had a bit more stability...but generally I’m healthy, I have a good family and loyal friends around me, I’m employed in a decent job and I live in a nice area. It could be much worse

[InR3alThym3]

This time a year ago I was made redundant. I started a new job and relocated. I've just been on holiday. Over the years I've had many ups and downs. At the moment I'm pretty fortunate and content. I like to be happy for the big and small things in life too, family, friends, laughs, sunshine, animals, colors, nature, seaside...

[Lavender928]

Happiness doesn’t mean lie is always good and nothing ever goes wrong or bad. There are many ups and downs in life.
Two years ago I hit rock bottom, ended up sectioned, without any contact with my daughter which my narc ex made sure off. He manipulated friends and I could trust no one. He had to leave the house. To make matters worse I could get any financial help despite working in this country for 14 years and paying tax and insurance. I was told I had no right to reside in this country. I was stuck. I couldn’t go home because ex wouldn’t let me take my daughter. But I didn’t give up. I’m a resourceful person and did all I could to get out of the hell. Because I wanted to be happy. Being the only single mum in family I was under constant pressure to make it work even though I knew it never will. Ended up with as. Single and happy because I don’t rely on anyone to make me happy.
I don’t know how I would feel if I lost my child. It must be so hard and difficult
One thing that helped me though everything is voluntary work and helping others who are less fortunate... we all have something