To ask how many of you are truly happy?

[Jojojingle]

I went out with 3 friends for dinner tonight and all they did was moan about how unhappy they are with their life, they seemed genuinely shocked when I told them I loved my life and seemed to take that as an insult?
I’m 35, two dd’s aged 3 &7, no husband, average job.
My life is by no means perfect but I’m happier than I’ve ever been, I earn an average wage and have no spare money, dh left us 2 years ago so I had to move to a smaller house next door to my parents but I like that because we’re close and my dd’s get to see them everyday and dh was a waste of space anyway. My friends have always got trouble with their boyfriends/husbands which I’m so glad I don’t have (I’m staying single for the foreseeable) but they still try and get me to start dating again, they moan about how their children behave and one even keeps telling us she wishes she had never had her ds. They are the only friends I have really and I spend all my time at work or with my kids but I’m genuinely loving life right now.
I guess what I’m asking is are you truly happy in life? Are my friends just moaning for the sake of it?

[LaurG]

I can honestly say that fir the first time in my life I am truelly happy. Might just be pregnancy hormones....

[JJ2014]

Nope not at all.

Stressed out with juggling work, a 5 year old, study and trying not to hate my husband. I'm frankly exhausted all the time and it's all consuming.

Nothing is working out in a positive way, my husband doesn't earn enough for us to move forward. We live in a small 2 bedroom apartment.

We haven't booked a family holiday in years.

And now I don't care whether we all go away together or not!

[TriHard27]

Me too, life isn’t perfect sometimes and I know other people who have more than I do but no real stress or worries, a good man who loves me, two beautiful dc, a job I like, exciting hobbies and a nice life balance.

[BlondeB83]

I am! But I wasn’t for many years.

[Freyanna]

I feel happy just now, even though I have been very ill I am a lot better now.

I was very sad on Saturday. My partner took a detour going home and we passed the crematorium my friend was cremated in, the hospital she died in, and the road where she had her fatal car accident.

I am glad I can share it with you. My life is very good, but I miss my friends who have died too young.

[Onlyoldontheoutside]

I am content at the moment ,happy some days,a bit stressed others(living with a teenager) but mostly content.For me it is a state of mind,I can't sustain unhappiness for long.

[blueyacht]

I'm happy as a clam. I've got a job I love, a house I love, loads of cats, no partner and no children. I am always doing what I want, when I want and with who I want. I am never bored and nobody ever nags me.

[Bumble1830]

Im happy in the sense that I have nothing to be sad about, However, If I was given the opportunity to change my daily life...would I? Hell yeah

[DENMAN03]

Yes, I am very happy. Life is good. I'm separated but still on very good terms with my husband, have great friends and a job I enjoy and whilst not rich by any means, don't have any huge money issues either. Yes, I could be slimmer but in the grand scheme of things I don't have much to moan about.

[toffee1000]

I fucking wish I could be happy like some of you are talking about. Day to day I’m fine. But I struggle with anxiety and low self-esteem. I was diagnosed with ASD last November and I’m struggling to accept it to be honest. All I can see right now are the negatives. I’m too anxious to do anything... get a proper job, find a boyfriend (or indeed any kind of friend), go and get the help that I need...

I bloody well hope I can read a thread like this in five years and be able to say yes, I am properly happy. Right now I am not living any kind of “life”, not really.

[PickAChew]

With 2 kids with an there are moments in my life that are crushingly hard but I plod along fairly contentedly in between.

[Johnnyfinland]

No, I'm not, but I have depression so my judgement on life is probably clouded. But honestly, out of all my friends, I can only think of one who'd say she was genuinely happy with her life. I don't know anyone else who is. Surprised happiness is so common judging by these answers!

[LonginesPrime]

Another happy single parent here.

I think a lot of it is down to your frame of reference - if you've come out of a shit relationship, you're probably feeling better than when you were in it. Whereas if you've only lived one way, you don't know whether you'd be happy or more miserable doing something different.

I also find that the more simple I make my life, the happier I am.

[Bumblealong1]

@bananafish81 Your situation sounds very tough. I hope you and your partner come through it ok. I don’t have any sage advice but wanted to say that it is of course understandable why you are struggling and I wish you lots of luck.

[AjasLipstick]

I am pretty happy. There are things I still haven't managed to achieve but I am very pleased with things in general. On a scale of 1 to 10 I am at a 7

[EC22]

I am.
Nothing dreadful has happened to me and I think I’m generally of a happy disposition.
Long may i stay this way.

[MakeItStopNeville]

I've always been happy. Even through some pretty tough times, I've found it easier to cope with life with a smile on my face, and get really bored listening to people gripe about normal day to day life shit. I laugh at literally everything, and full on belly laugh with, or more probably, at my poor husband pretty much daily. I'm probably really annoying in real life tbh!

[Whyarealltheusernamestaken]

So you’ve already made 2 people sad talking of your wonderful life, then you come to mumsnet for sympathy of it? Show a bit more empathy to your friends and find out their issues...

[HerRoyalNotness]

I’m content overall and that’s enough for me. Happiness is overrated and fluctuates. No one is truly happy 100% of the time. Shit happens, sad things occur, illness strikes.

I was at the dr the other week and she asked how I felt. I thought about it and Right then in that moment I felt great and told her so, that was a happy 5mins for me.

Being fulfilled and satisfied, whether by work, family, hobbies and interests can give this feeling of happiness. Much better to focus on a something than a feeling.

[Starface]

I am.

The happiness equals perfection idea that some pps have is ridiculous. Actually nothing in my life is perfect. But I have a great family who I love spending time with (though imperfect). My job has a sweet work life balance, though progression is slower than I'd like. My newly re-formed house is working well for us, though of course there are still loads of snags etc. We do ok for money, could always do with more I guess but we have enough really. A colleague expressed the view recently that my profession aren't paid enough. It's certainly less than she is paid. I wouldn't turn down more pay, but really we have enough, I have no need for more. Though we do have to budget and cut our cloth etc. Plus I love a work in progress. I need something to aim for and work towards in life, that is part of it's satisfaction for me. If I don't have something to work on I have to find something, or I quickly feel dissatisfied and bored. It does help that we don't have contextual factors that create stress and distress ATM. No one is ill/dying/have died suddenly recently. I'm not struggling through renovations anymore. We had some sudden, young deaths in our family. Though it was a while ago now, I found that overall it put things into perspective for me. I am very grateful to be here and to have the relationships I have.

[MrsTerryPratchett]

Happiness is weird. Some of it is genetic. Some of it is luck. Some of it is work. Some of it is fixed and some fleeting.

I'm lucky and I'm genetically predisposed to it. I can normally find a bright side.

But I have friends who are stuck. In marriages, places or situations that aren't great. Still, no malaria and we have running water.

[justsobloodysad]

whyarealltheusernanestaken the op didn't make her friends sad! They can take responsibility for that, if in fact they are sad. I for one (despite the user name) feel bloody uplifted by this thread.

[Narkle]

Contentment, not necessarily happiness, should be the aim here. It's human nature to always want more, so what makes us happy one day would easily get boring and make us want for more the next day. That's why happiness fluctuates; they're the same hormones as those, which make people become drug addicits with more and more needed to get the same 'fix'.

I am resonably content with my life and work on the bits I am unhappy about. And therein, I think, lies the key.

Some people allow life to happen to them and some make it happen - the former will be perpetual moaners wallowing in victimhood while the latter will always find solutions, even if just mental ones. It's a bit of a spectrum, of course.

[BoogleMcGroogle]

I am today, and at the moment. My life is good, and my close reslationships are good. I'm making peace with the things that are not so good. But a couple of months ago I was very sad, I couldn't really explain why, it was something I needed to go through. I agree that happiness is a state of mind, but minds shift and change, sometimes according to events outside, sometimes inside. I don't think that happiness can ( or should) be there always, but it's lovely when it is 🙂

[Bunchofdaffodils]

I am happy. I am strict with myself about focusing on the positive things. I’m sure if I sat and thought about things that aren’t good in my life I could come up with a long list and feel really down. Always look on the bright side! I hope I’m not too annoying to my friends.