Birthday weekend ready meals - OK or not?

[whiskyowl]

MIL has one of those birthdays coming up with a '0' on the end.

DH and BIL are paying for a weekend away for six of us to celebrate. This involves hire of a cottage, a special activity for a day (£200), and we are also paying all food and booze. We've made a huge cake, too.
Obviously, the costs here are quite high.

We will all help cook one meal on two of the evenings. However, this means cooking after the all-day activity, when we will all be pretty tired.

I suggested that instead of cooking from scratch on that night, we got some ready meals in from that posh frozen place, Cook. We could then just bung them in the oven and chill out.

This idea was met with horror from BIL and partner on the grounds that it 'sends the wrong message' and 'wouldn't be spoiling MIL'.

I've never really thought of high-end ready meals as inferior, and I'd never judge someone who served me one. (I'm generally just grateful to be served any food at all!) But I am very definitely not as posh as the rest of them.

Would you be offended at being served high-end ready meals in this situation?

It's a funny one. If this happened on my mums side of the family it would be a total let down, everyone would be in shock, no matter how posh the ready meal it would be frowned upon, which is in a way sad.

If it was my dads side of the family, it would be totally normal, if not a treat. A posh ready meal would be better than packet pasta, because no one can cook and i don't think they even realise that other people can and do cook. Also in a way sad.

I think if it fits around what you're doing, tastes good and makes things easier in any way then no problem with it!

Are you sure that your bil and partner weren’t just trying to wind you up? Anyway the best way of dealing with them would have been to laugh and say tough luck coz you aren’t cooking. 🤷🏻‍♀️

BTW I love the quiches from cook.

I’d be in there with a Cook lasagne and green salad, and I wouldn’t be canvassing opinion!

One of the reasons I'm asking is that it's our turn to host the Christmas celebration for DH's family this year, and I was planning on doing one Cook readymeal, but now I feel like this will be seen as a lack of effort/care and really poor hosting - it will be yet another sign of how "common" I am

OP, you need to stop this way of thinking. Just do whatever you want to do and stop worrying about this type of crap. Going through life agonising about stuff like this is pointless.

It's not for the celebration meal itself though, is it? It's something to eat when you've all come back from a long day of activities so it doesn't need to be posh & spectacular.

If BIL is so shallow worried about sending the wrong message (to whom exactly, anyway) he can fork out for the food for that night and sort it all out. Looks like everyone has left everything to you and your DH anyway.

I love Cook - a Cook voucher is my go to present for new babies - usually very well received by the exhausted parents.

My go to dinner party menu at the moment is salmon rilettes which you could make at home and bring with you and bung in the fridge, COOK Hunters Chicken with homemade colcannon and purple sprouting broccoli and Eton Mess with bashed up posh patisserie meringues. If there are 4 of you in the kitchen then you could prepare it in 30 minutes......

I'd get 'shove in the oven' ready prepped stuff from m and s or Waitrose and wouldn't consider it cheating in the slightest!

Interesting to see that there's a split of opinion emerging.

I felt really quite scolded at the response I got, so I'm glad I'm not the only one who would consider ready meals to be appropriate. If Mumsnetters agree with me, I can't be failing that much in the poshness stakes

"you need to stop this way of thinking"

You're absolutely right, you know . Sod it, I'm going to do a Cook lasagne at Christmas anyway! It's not like they won't be getting a from-scratch roast on another day. It's just to prevent day after day after day of me slaving away in the kitchen.

There is a bit of a back story to this. PIL are a bit strange - they don't have very good social skills at all, and are very controlling (because of their own anxiety issues). BIL is still very much in what the Stately Homers call the FOG (fear, obligation, guilt) - you could add denial in there too. DH is much less so, having had quite a bit of counselling to enable him to stand up to them after they suggested that I 'wasn't the kind of girl you marry'. (Bloody cheek, I am totally a good wife!! ). So, having thought about this all a bit more, I reckon BIL is probably more frightened of causing 'upset' than we are.

Well in that case you are doing them all a favour by not falling in and going along with the madness! Think of it like that if it helps?

I think Cook meals are totally appropriate. They are delicious and pretty healthy and trouble free. What's not to like? I don't have proper dinner parties as I hate cooking, but I do "kitchen supper" type things with Cook meals a lot (it's the chatting and being with friends that matters to me, the food just keeps us sober longer).

Your event, your choice though. I bet you'll have a great time.

Cook meals are absolutely fine for celebrations! (And at least one of my family members has successfully passed one of their desserts off as her own!)

I wouldn’t feed guests a ready meal. Get a takeaway or eat out.

I don't eat ready meals so I wouldn't be pleased at being given them for my birthday celebrations.

Cook meals are yummy!

Sounds like your BIL just volunteered to cook for everyone

They sound ridiculous.

Either, a) fuck ‘em and serve the Cook stuff. It’s fine. It’s not a cooking competition.

Or b) bring something which isn’t a “ready meal” but which is more or less prepared by someone else already and is of undeniable quality, like a whole wild smoked salmon.

BTW, Lasagne never sounds like a great choice in this situation - a reminder of every crap ready meal you’ve ever had. Even if it’s good, it screams “no effort”.

Obviously those who think COOK is like a bog standard ready meal have never had one.
Its like homemade food !
Your BIL is a twat

I wouldn't have a ready meal - too pricey for my parsimonious Yorkshire roots - but I would be the one offering to do ALL the cooking to avoid read meals. In the past, I've taken stews, curries, quiches, lasagnes, puddings to large gatherings. It ensures you get out of doing the washing up, if nothing else.

Fall back option would be fish and chips with Champagne (or Prosecco or Sekt or Cava).

I would, however, not object if my DBro and SIL brought ready meals. If he's got money to burn, that's fine.

I’d probably prepare a tagine & shove it in the oven on a low temperature & it will be perfect. Couscous with chopped parsley & pinenuts & you are good to go. Looks good & very marginally harder than decanting ready means into my own dishes.

Have to say that any of the Cook meals I've tried are not that nice - and as I like to avoid unnecessary effort I have tried quite a few . Particularly the lasagne which seemed to have hardly any meat. I certainly don't have any ethical objection to it though.

Sounds to me as if wouldn't be spoiling MIL'. volunteering to do the cooking that day.

Just sayin' though, the standard of food from Cook is , on average way better than I can produce without major effort. Our local one is happy for customers to supply their own dishes... no cheap, but v v easy. Bag of leaves, a lemon sliced and a jar of dressing. Sorted.

I don't understand the outrage towards people who choose not to have ready meals whether they're from Aldi, Cook or anywhere else. I'd rather someone made me a nice sandwich than gave me ready meals.

If we book a Uk break, often to celebrate a special birthday, then I organise a Cook delivery.
I’m a good cook myself, but the thing is, I don’t want to have to produce copious amount of food, being responsible for taking every single tiny ingredient, cook in a kitchen I don’t know, probably without the necessary batterie de cuisine, having to wash it all up. Most important of all I want to enjoy the celebration myself, with a drink, or five!
Cook food is fantastic, their ethical stand is great (they are a B Corp company) and their customer service is simply outstanding. They also do catering sizes and their portions are generous. Really, what’s not to like?!

It really doesn't matter who rates Cook and who doesn't.

Of the 6 people going, only 2 want it. It should be whatever the person who's celebrating the milestone birthday wants.

Just interested in where this "high end" frozen ready meals come from? Intrerested lol