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AIBU?

Shouting ballet teacher

37 replies

ManagedTeaCups · 10/02/2018 10:40

Stood outside my dd first ballet class she’s 5, not sure if teacher still knows I’m here.
I know some of the girls are doing exams soon and she said it might be tense. She’s just shouting at two girls really loud ‘for goodness sake how many times Anna’ etc
Is this normal poor dd she must be wondering what’s going on i told her it would be fun

OP posts:

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ElphabaTheGreen · 10/02/2018 15:44

Russians (and Chinese) are brutal when it comes to ballet teaching, though. That kind of training died a death years ago in the West. It's just not acceptable and none of the accredited dance organisations (RAD, ISTD etc) would sanction it in any form - not even strictness to the point of cruelty (e.g. telling students they looked like sluts).

I did a summer programme with a Russian teacher from the Maryinski (Kirov) once. Lawdy, she was a mare.

KurriKurri · 10/02/2018 14:59

I remember watching a programme a few years back about a very talented boy from Uk who went to live in Russia to train at one of the top ballet places there. He was about 15 IIRC, My God they were strict - they kept smacking this lad if he got something wrong - totally different thinking. (Maybe Bridgetoc is one of them ? )

I mean thats not relevangt to your ltitle girl obviusly, but just an example of the thinking that sometimes accompanies dance training.
My DD is a pianist, she had a russian piano tutor at university and this woman was awful - rude vile and generally very strict. Some pupils (uni age) used to come out of thier lessons in tears. DD hated her at first then became determined not to be beaten donw and started standing up for herself. For some reason this went down well with the teacher and they reached a kind of uneasy truce. DD still thinks this woman was awful though (and she actually chose not to do a performance module in her last year because it would mean more time withthis woman)

There has to be a better way to get the best out of people than intimidation. You can get respect and instill discipline with fairness and kindness and showing respect.

Fosterquestions · 10/02/2018 14:43

My ballet teacher was like that, I think she enjoyed making kids cry!

Dolphincrossing · 10/02/2018 14:43

Abby Lee Miller hasn’t been released early, has she?

What’s bridgetocs problem?

sixteenapples · 10/02/2018 14:41

I was told I was terrible - and loved it. The worse he told me I was, the harder he pushed me the better I did. We all loved the sport, (not ballet) and we won competetition after competetition!

I went to another class when I moved and the teacher was all about being nice and nobody learnt anything.

If it is not fun don't send your daughter. Simple. If others enjoy it - that is up to them.,

And all ballet teachers are nasty?? How ridiculous

YeahInnitYeahInnitYeah · 10/02/2018 14:29

I think we've been lucky. Wonderfully lovely and gentle ballet teachers so far, at toddler, preschool, pre primary and grade 1 classes. Not heard any shouting other than from a mum who follows her child around yelling at her to pay attention etc. Parents aren't even supposed to be in the room!

HighwayDragon1 · 10/02/2018 13:58

DDS ballet teacher shouts, a lot! DD doesn't seem to mind and enjoys going, she's been there 4 years now, if she didn't like it then we'd move her.

Witchend · 10/02/2018 13:39

Just a word of warning though. My DC had a sweet ballet teacher, never shouted always lovely... Then dd2 started getting bullied. I approached her (she'd been a teacher) and told her. She started by denying it, then when I persisted the only response she could give was "she should rise above it".
It was so obvious that other parents were telling her too.
I moved to another school with a teacher who did sometimes shout, but she dealt with bullying straight away and wasn't afraid to tell a parent.
So sometimes the soft, nice approach has its drawbacks.

idontlikealdi · 10/02/2018 13:38

Dts ballet teacher controls the class and it's her eyes. Seriously she speaks barley above a whisper but keeps a class of five year olds firmly under control.

ManagedTeaCups · 10/02/2018 13:31

😮
What an awful thing to say.
There’s another class locally that her friends go to so we’ll be trying that instead!

OP posts:

ZebraOwl · 10/02/2018 13:27

I've encountered a couple of shouty teachers as an adult & not gone back to their classes. As PPs have said, if you're shouting (unless to make yourself heard running something on stage or similar; or possibly in an emergency to gain attention) You Are Doing It Wrong.

I'd look for another ballet class. Ballet does come with discipline - you should be dressed correctly & have your hair tied back properly; and you do need to listen & learn things as accurately as possible: you're using your whole body for every movement & every stillness & it takes a long time to get that right. But it is also about learning to find a way to express yourself within The Rules; and being part of a long tradition of creating beautiful things & enjoying doing so. Dancing is meant to make you happy. Especially when you're wee.

There are, unfortunately, still abusive teachers out there. Who do things like jab screwdrivers into teenagers' backs to ensure they keep their line right. But most teachers are passionate about passing on their knowledge & experience in a positive way. Take your DD to one of them.

NewYearNiki · 10/02/2018 13:17

Ballet teachers are nasty.

Having done it from age 3 all the way up to age 14 they are pretty strict and nasty.

At about 13 one teacher said to 2 girls leaning on the barre stop leaning leaning on it like a pair of sluts.

bridgetoc · 10/02/2018 13:15

@ManagedTeaCake Your welcome......

#PreciousSnowflakes

Kenworthington · 10/02/2018 13:09

Dd’s Ballet teacher is very strict and a bit shouty but she’s 13, afaik she doesn’t shout at the little ones

Hobbes8 · 10/02/2018 13:08

My daughter's ballet teacher is lovely! She's so kind to the kids (aged 3 and 4) and they all hang on her every word. We bumped into her one weekend and my daughter was wide-eyed and star struck to see her out of class and she couldn't have been kinder to her.

ElphabaTheGreen · 10/02/2018 13:07

My DSs have three teachers (tap, ballet, modern) and not one of them shouts.

The one and only time I got shouted at in my (professional stream) ballet classes was one time when I was 16 and being a stroppy adolescent (and fucking deserved it).

Find a different teacher.

BlueMirror · 10/02/2018 13:06

I'd ask your dd if she still wants to go and let her decide. Ime with the shouty teachers they eventually don't want to go any more even if they like the class otherwise.

ManagedTeaCups · 10/02/2018 12:58

Sod off bridge
Thanks everyone else!

OP posts:

KurriKurri · 10/02/2018 12:57

( that was to bridgetoc not you midsumma)

KurriKurri · 10/02/2018 12:57

Ah - the shouty teacher has appeared !

midsummabreak · 10/02/2018 12:56

I would wait st pick up time, tell 'Anna's' parent to hang around & listen for themselves. I would hope someone told me so I could understand how my child was experiencing their dance sessions. At least this gives Anna's parents the opportunity to support her.

bridgetoc · 10/02/2018 12:52

Get a grip OP and stop being such a snowflake.

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KurriKurri · 10/02/2018 12:52

No need for shoutiness in any kind of teaching of any age. If you need to shout at five year olds to get their attention you've lost the plot.
Find a nice teacher where your DD can have fun.

My Ds went to dancing class at that age which was run by two women - they were really fun and kind, and think the fact that there were two of them worked really well. he loved it and did loads of shows etc (and he never felt self conscious because he was the only boy)

upsideup · 10/02/2018 12:50

I think its quite common for ballet teachers to be very strict, At 5 I was doing 3+ hours of ballet a week and the teacher definately used to shout but really after the lessons she was lovely, she just took her job very seriously and wanted to produce good dancers, anyone who was just in it to 'have fun' would soon leave. However I've since taught dance (not ballet and not at a high level) and never shouted at the kids as I wanted them to be having fun. I think it would be best to find a class a bit less serious with a more fun teacher and fun lesson style, like you said OP.

twoplytwoply · 10/02/2018 12:47

I'd change ballet classes tout de suite.

My DD goes to a lovely dance school she started ballet there at 3, the teacher is really lovely and never shouts. She's in Primary ballet now and although the teacher (same one) is a bit more firm with them, she never shouts.

Her dance teacher gets quite a lot of new pupils who leave dance schools with shouty teachers.

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