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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Shouting ballet teacher

38 replies

ManagedTeaCups · 10/02/2018 10:40

Stood outside my dd first ballet class she’s 5, not sure if teacher still knows I’m here.
I know some of the girls are doing exams soon and she said it might be tense. She’s just shouting at two girls really loud ‘for goodness sake how many times Anna’ etc
Is this normal poor dd she must be wondering what’s going on i told her it would be fun

OP posts:
fidgetsmumx · 10/02/2018 10:43

Christ, the nazi ballet teacher..
I wouldn’t be impressed, but then I’ve never experienced ballet school so wouldn’t know how strict they usually are or whether it was normal.

Original poster
ManagedTeaCups · 10/02/2018 10:47

Snap so don’t know if this is what they’re all like?!
I know it’s a very disciplined dance but they are teaching young children

OP posts:
fidgetsmumx · 10/02/2018 10:48

Yeah what 5 year old is gonna enjoy ballet when their teacher spends half the lesson balling at the other children..
maybe have a word at the end of the lesson?

Original poster
ManagedTeaCups · 10/02/2018 10:56

3 shouting episodes 30 min class- so not constant ummm unsure she’ll be back

OP posts:
SoozC · 10/02/2018 12:08

I had lessons from the age of 3. None of my teachers shouted at us, not even at uni. I also worked at a dance school - the teacher was firm but didn't shout.

Dance is supposed to be fun and the children are supposed to want to be there. And it's not a dangerous activity. Shouting shouldn't be necessary.

Original poster
ManagedTeaCups · 10/02/2018 12:13

Thank you I asked asked her if it was fun and she said little bit I’ll be hunting for a class that’s lots of fun instead

OP posts:
Pinkywoo · 10/02/2018 12:26

I only had strict shouty dance teachers at a higher level (teenagers and above), but even they weren't like that with the little ones! I'd try another school.

chickenowner · 10/02/2018 12:27

No teacher should shout at a 5 year old! In fact good teachers can maintain discipline by speaking very quietly. That's what I do.

You have reminded me of what happened when I was a little girl at a ballet class. I think I was about 8 or 9.

We were just about to attend exams so were showing the teacher our dances individually. I performed my dance. The teacher's response? 'That was terrible'.

I managed to hold onto my tears until the class ended and my Dad collected me. I told him what had happened. He marched straight into the classroom, in front of the next class and their parents and, very calmly and firmly explained that I would not be returning to her class and that ballet for 8 year old children was supposed to be a fun activity.

He was amazing!!! I can remember him saying 'Did you tell my daughter that she was terrible? Do you think that was appropriate?'

And my parents found a much nicer ballet school for me. I carried on until I was 15. Smile

KarenHL · 10/02/2018 12:40

This is not usual. Eldest has attended two dance schools; youngest just one (so far, four teach between them).

No teacher has ever shouted at them, this is not normal.

Eldest currently preparing for exam, and teacher (who owns the school) occasionally raises her voice a little. This is either to count beats so class can keep time, or to correct - e.g. X, extend right foot not left.

Sometimes her teacher/owner is under a lot of pressure, an examiner herself, teacher, currently putting together a pro show of the whole school, preparing students for dance festivals and she'd loads of other stuff. She, and none of the other teachers would shout at a child like you describe.

I think you might need to look for another school. My youngest (similar age to yours) would have been really distressed witnessing that, and I would've seen behaviour changes as a result. Sounds like yours has coped quite well.

KarenHL · 10/02/2018 12:41

Flipping autocorrect!

*teachers, not teach.

KarenHL · 10/02/2018 12:45

And *shed, not she'd. Hmm

NoSquirrels · 10/02/2018 12:46

Look for somewhere else.

At 5, any form of dance should be fun. Fun with a strict side, perhaps - ballet expects discipline, but at the youngest levels it’s sll about expression and enjoyment primarily. Technique comes slowly.

Any human can get exasperated with small children not listening, but a teacher shouting 3 times in 30 minutes at 5 year olds is not a good teacher.

twoplytwoply · 10/02/2018 12:47

I'd change ballet classes tout de suite.

My DD goes to a lovely dance school she started ballet there at 3, the teacher is really lovely and never shouts. She's in Primary ballet now and although the teacher (same one) is a bit more firm with them, she never shouts.

Her dance teacher gets quite a lot of new pupils who leave dance schools with shouty teachers.

upsideup · 10/02/2018 12:50

I think its quite common for ballet teachers to be very strict, At 5 I was doing 3+ hours of ballet a week and the teacher definately used to shout but really after the lessons she was lovely, she just took her job very seriously and wanted to produce good dancers, anyone who was just in it to 'have fun' would soon leave. However I've since taught dance (not ballet and not at a high level) and never shouted at the kids as I wanted them to be having fun. I think it would be best to find a class a bit less serious with a more fun teacher and fun lesson style, like you said OP.

KurriKurri · 10/02/2018 12:52

No need for shoutiness in any kind of teaching of any age. If you need to shout at five year olds to get their attention you've lost the plot.
Find a nice teacher where your DD can have fun.

My Ds went to dancing class at that age which was run by two women - they were really fun and kind, and think the fact that there were two of them worked really well. he loved it and did loads of shows etc (and he never felt self conscious because he was the only boy)

bridgetoc · 10/02/2018 12:52

Get a grip OP and stop being such a snowflake.

midsummabreak · 10/02/2018 12:56

I would wait st pick up time, tell 'Anna's' parent to hang around & listen for themselves. I would hope someone told me so I could understand how my child was experiencing their dance sessions. At least this gives Anna's parents the opportunity to support her.

KurriKurri · 10/02/2018 12:57

Ah - the shouty teacher has appeared ! Grin

KurriKurri · 10/02/2018 12:57

( that was to bridgetoc not you midsumma)

Original poster
ManagedTeaCups · 10/02/2018 12:58

Sod off bridge
Thanks everyone else!

OP posts:
BlueMirror · 10/02/2018 13:06

I'd ask your dd if she still wants to go and let her decide. Ime with the shouty teachers they eventually don't want to go any more even if they like the class otherwise.

ElphabaTheGreen · 10/02/2018 13:07

My DSs have three teachers (tap, ballet, modern) and not one of them shouts.

The one and only time I got shouted at in my (professional stream) ballet classes was one time when I was 16 and being a stroppy adolescent (and fucking deserved it).

Find a different teacher.

Hobbes8 · 10/02/2018 13:08

My daughter's ballet teacher is lovely! She's so kind to the kids (aged 3 and 4) and they all hang on her every word. We bumped into her one weekend and my daughter was wide-eyed and star struck to see her out of class and she couldn't have been kinder to her.

Kenworthington · 10/02/2018 13:09

Dd’s Ballet teacher is very strict and a bit shouty but she’s 13, afaik she doesn’t shout at the little ones

bridgetoc · 10/02/2018 13:15

@ManagedTeaCake Your welcome......

#PreciousSnowflakes

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