People have different parenting styles. I completely get that. However, there is "letting kids make their own mistakes" and there is being irreponsible and ruining other people's stuff.
Some months back I offered a friend fruit from our garden. She enthusiastically said yes. We were away when it was ripe, so I explained carefully which trees it was (she wouldn't necessarily have found them easily otherwise) and that other plants in the same area were delicate/ needed not to be trampled/ had poisonous fruit and leaves. She said "oh I'll send the kids in then". I referred her back to what I had said about delicate/poisonous plants, and said it would be better if she could pick the fruit herself, as I was not comfortable with unsupervised 8 & 10 year olds potentially picking the wrong things.
Got home to find delicate plants trashed, branches ripped off, fruits picked unripe & thrown on the ground, saplings pulled out of the ground. Fruit trees with ripe fruit were also pretty trashed, all the fruit taken and branches ripped off and thrown on the ground.
Saw friend, mentioned the garden was in need of a bit of TLC. She said "yeah the kids had a great time" and had apparently sent them in to play by themselves on several days. 
Apparently it takes a village to raise a child (she loves this phrase) so sending her kids to play in our garden when we are away is appropriate...
Since then she has been making digs repeatedly about me being a helicopter parent and how her kids are independent learners, fearless, brave, inquisitive, etc while my DS is scared of other people, can't walk or talk yet because I mollycoddle him.
FFS. DS is normal, he's 1. Her kids are indeed fearless, but inappropriately so in the context of trashing our garden with zero supervision. GRRR.
Or am I uptight and denying her children their right to a childhood?
AIBU?
to suggest friend supervises her own kids?
Taubenpost · 18/12/2017 00:19
Another one here who thinks Butterys response is perfect.
My ten year old is 'spirited' 
but wouldn't dream of leaving carnage in someone else's garden.
Let's face it, she just couldn't be arsed going with them could she?
Cheeky cah.
Ruthsmum you think breaking branches, trampling plants, ripping up saplings and wasting unripe fruit in someone else’s garden is just “kids being kids?”
It’s really, really not.
And the idea that the OP can’t be upset about a friend’s kids wanton destruction of her property on the off chance that her own child also turns out to be a spoiled brat in 9 years time is quite ridiculous.
I'd go with Butterymuffins response, don't worry about being rude you don't need her in your life.
I had a pack of feral children trash my garden once, when I had just moved in, my tree has never been the same and the mum never apologised for it. This was 20 years ago and I'm still angry on behalf of my tree 
Just to pick up on the village to raise a child aspect - if you're part of her village that she wants helping her raise her children, you have right to discipline the children, right?
But I wouldn't bother with her, and I'd keep the children locked out of my garden at all times.
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Tired of your feral brats and your endless digs at me. Your kids destroyed my garden. And all you do is put me down. Get lost!'
Please say that to her OP, pleeeeeeeaaaase!
Seriously, you need better friends, start being a bit more choosy about who gets your time, your friendship and your fruit!
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