Friend *warning - miscarriage*

[Beachtime]

More of a - is this appropriate or best just to not do anything?

Friend of mine recently had a miscarriage. She'd mentioned when the due date was a few times so I know when it would have been.

I was thinking about sending her some flowers around that time - I don't know anyone whose suffered a miscarriage before so I wanted to ask is this appropriate?

Or do you think maybe I might just be bringing more attention and upset her?

Obvisouly the last thing I'd want to do is upset her more than she already will be around that date.

Thanks in advance for your help!

[Merryhobnobs]

I had a miscarriage earlier this year, one of my dearest friends sent me such a nice card on the due date. It was lovely for my husband and I to have our baby acknowledged. My Mum was going to send flowers but we were going away to visit other family the next day for a few days and she knew we wouldn't be able to keep them. Flowers and/or a note would be really good I think. It often feels like we are the only ones in the world who will remember our tiny baby.

[FlakeBook]

I would have LOVED flowers. My PIL sent flowers when I miscarried and that was lovely.

[Mousewatch]

Please do something, even if it's just a nice call or txt on the day. What a lovely friend you are

[GuntyMcGee]

Personally I wouldn't have liked flowers as they can be too much of a lingering reminder, but a text to acknowledge the day would have been wonderful.

The due date was a whole new grief to deal with, made worse by the fact that, as others have said, the rest of the world seemed to have forgotten and it felt like me alone against the rest of the world.

[furryleopard]

It's nice to think of a friend but I had a miscarriage but had had a further miscarriage by the due date and was pregnant again (with a pregnancy I also miscarried around my original due date) my next pregnancy I miscarried again but had DD on my 5th pregnancy. Some of my miscarriages I had not told anyone apart from DH of course and my Mum. I would send a simple text and arrange a catch up. She will know you are thinking of her but you don't know where she is on her journey by the due date.

[MrsU88]

Its difficult as every person deals with mc differently.

my 1st mc was due mid dec 07
my 2nd mc was due end of april 08.

ironically...my dc1 was conceived in december, and my dc2 was concieved in april.

I dont get upset about them, I am a firm believer that there must have been something wrong for them to die, but others would be really hurt if you said that to them.

Personally I think I would go with the phone call and not mention it unless they mention it first.

[Beachtime]

Thanks for the advice everyone especially since it's such an upsetting topic.

I think general consensus is to send a thoughful message/ card instead so think I will go with that option.

Once again thank you for taking the time to offer advise on such a hard topic

[Fuckoffee]

You are a lovely friend (agree not flowers though, a card would be perfect) x

[Steeley113]

My due date for my miscarried baby was Tuesday, I was at work and the girls all remembered and we’re extra kind to me that day. They brought me tea and chocolate and jollied me along if they saw I was slipping. The fact they remembered meant the most though. A simple card and a thinking of you is all that’s needed.