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AIBU?

For not wanting to spend Christmas with my ex and his family

26 replies

FairyFuckDailyMail · 13/12/2017 22:29

Fuck off Daily Mail

Basically just asking that. I just came off the phone yet again with my ex-h who wants us all (me, him and our 2 kids ) to spend Christmas with his parents.

To not drip feed and give a bit of background.
We split up 2.5 years ago after I discovered his affair. In the 2 years he was largely absent after he moved in with OW. He would see kids and then go 5-6 months with no contact. First 12 months never paid any maintenance but went abroad every 6-8 weeks. His relationship started falling apart when CSA caught up with him and he had to start paying meaning holidays stopped and that was the start of the end of their relationship. Would have been no contact for both Christmases until his dad got hold of him and he turned up for 20 mins on the day first year empty handed, completely ruined the whole day and left with the kids in tears, me in tears etc and a police officer at my door after a call to Samaritans. Last year no contact. Also note that both these Christmases was spent me alone with our 2 kids. All my family live abroad. Living local to the sister and in laws who hosted Christmas and not onced invited the kids and I. But being mum I made sure they had a day they didn’t forget. All presents was bought by me under the tree as kids were at the age they still believed. In laws will then give their presents few days after. Eldest only found out yesterday about Father Christmas. At no point did he offer to help or pay extra or anything to make Christmas for the kids. (Please note that I celebrate Christmas with the kids since I’ve had them and with maternal family as my paternal Family is from another religion). At no point in the almost decade that we were married has this been an issue.

Fast forward this summer, attempted suicide see him getting close with his family who has been disgusted by his behaviour and haven’t seen him in the 2 years that we have split. So this brings him closer to them but eventually the end of his relationship with OW by the end of the summer. Come Oct (less than 2 months later) he started a new relationship causing lots of upset with kids who just thought they started getting their dad back. Again I help and facilitate to make it all work. I cancel my activities if he can’t pick the kids up etc. I encourage the kids to have a good relationship with new GF.

He is the type of person who when convenient forget about all the hurt he caused. Which is fine by me as I’ve moved on after him a long time ago. But what I dont wish to do is to play happy families with him and his family when the last 2 years the girls didn’t matter to any of them. What is to say this doesn’t change again. What happens next year. This is the man that took the 2 years that school and I worked with our kids to get over the upset he caused and broke it all down in seconds that school had to call me in 2 weeks ago because they realised the “non-girlfriend” is actually a girlfriend as she stayed over and they saw her at his in the morning.

So sorry for the long waffle and thanks for those who got to the end. But AIBU for not wanting to spend Christmas with my Twunting Ex.

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tampinfuminragin · 14/12/2017 00:16

Say no and have a lovely Christmas with your dcs