What to do about overly involved acquaintance?

[Givemeonereason]

I've thought about posting this for a while now but recently things have escalated so now need advice.

An acquaintance who I used to work with has rang me 4 times tonighf as she has a present for my DS for Christmas and she wants to bring it round. I ignored her calls but gave up and text her saying it's late blah blah blah. She starts guilt tripping me about this present and how she really wants to give it to me in person and she's free now to drop it by.

Backstory: we worked together and we helped each other loads as we were both junior managers at the same time (diff departments). For me this was purely a work based friendship. When I announced I was pregnant she had handed her notice in at work just before and offered to withdraw it so she could support me being pregnant at work. I laughed as I thought she was joking but it came out that she did try and withdraw it. She made a huge FB post with pics of my scan (which I had posted on my FB in all fairness) introducing her 'future drinking buddy'. She turned up at the hospital the day after he was born with a huge box full of things she had bought him which was very kind of her. She turned up at his Christening, making a scene that she wasn't invited. We let her stay as she had come quite a way for it on public transport. She got drunk (was in a private room in a restaurant) and whinged at my best friend that she hadn't been asked to be godmother and what more could she do to get me to like her.

I've not led this woman on. I did think she was nice but now I actually find her a bit scary! How do I get her to leave me alone?

[wednesdayswench]

Just slowly back away, don't answer texts, limit what she can see on FB don't acknowledge the balloon.

Mention the problem you are having with her to mutual friends, ask them not to talk to her about you. Also let work know in case she arrives looking for you. Also let whoever looks after your DC know, in case an 'aunty' or 'godmother' arrives and wants access.

If she doesn't start backing off then you will have to confront her, say you found her behaviour at the christening inappropriate and realised your friendship would never work after that, you'd like her to back off please.

[LazyDailyMailJournos]

Don't ghost - because the likelihood is that she'll start turning up to try and speak to you.

Don't send any woolly texts either. You need to be very clear and very firm with this woman - any hint of ambiguity and she'll use that as an opportunity to continue.

I would text her:

I enjoyed working with you, but I viewed our relationship as friendly but professional, as we did not socialise outside of the office. I have to be honest with you and say that the constant texts, calls and gifts are making me feel uncomfortable and that this needs to stop. I wish you all the best for the future but I will not be responding to you again.

Then you need to block her number, remove her from social media and tell your mutual friends what's happened and ask them not to share information with her.

[fidgettt]

Don't ghost her. She sounds unhinged and it may make her more crazy. Stand up to her - tell her you're not accepting the present and that you find her behaviour too much and intrusive etc. Might be worth chatting to the nursery about security just in case.

[CurlyhairedAssassin]

The problem with the option of talking about life changes and being too busy is that it just gives her an excuse to come and “help” you or “offer support” with your busy life eg “i’ll Look after DC for an hour while you go and have a nice bath” etc

It would be a nightmare. Don’t make anything up about why you don’t want to stay in touch, just be clear why.

[CoraPirbright]

What have you decided to do OP?

[boosterrooster]

I'm not a fan of phasing out like others have suggested. Not without at least attempting to give the person an explanation. Regardless of how OTT she might seem, she's still a person with feelings and being phased out is quite cruel. Maybe she doesn't realize how she's coming across?

I'd be honest with her - just tell her her behavior is a little OTT and that you're not keen on such an intense friendship. Thank her for the gifts and the effort she has made and explain that you have different priorities now and don't have the time for this friendship anymore.

Being a little sensitive towards others doesn't cost anything and takes very little effort!

[misscheery]

She definitely sounds unhinged. I agree with not ghosting her, it'll only make it worse. But you need to be firm. ASAP. This is creepy

[givemeonereason]

Well I haven't spoken to her since balloon-gate. But her wife has text me.
I haven't been purposely avoiding her I just genuinely don't have time. I work full time, have a 1 year old, my sisters live in different cities and they've been coming up this past week as they've broken up for Christmas, I have my own circle of friends to try and see and of course my DH to try and see... outside of all that it's general Christmas craic so shopping etc.
I received a text saying I was ignorant for ignoring them. I haven't replied.
I don't think I will.
It's just awkward as we do have mutual friends so will see each other at birthdays etc.

[Motoko]

Oh god, so she's got her wife texting you now?! I think you need to text back and say you don't want to see/speak to her again (you've been given several ideas of what to say) and then block them both.

BTW, your post isn't highlighted as you've used a lower case g instead of the capital G in the OP.

[1stX]

I would warn the mutual friends about her behaviour because of the christening is anytyto go by she will definitely be slagging you off to them