I did it! I won against a manspreader!

[Urubu]

I'll paint the scene: I am quite petite, sitting in a crowded tube, a man seats next to me, arm on the armrest straightaway (fine, I don't use it anyway), except with his elbow on the armrest he then spreads his lower arm so his hand is just in front of my face and proceeds to read his newspaper...
I look at him a couple of times, he ignores me.
For a second he takes his arm off the armrest, I take my opportunity and places mine, carefully not going over the middle, but just enough to prevent him from getting in my space
He huffs, puffs, turns his newspaper sideways... and finally he gets it and reads his paper folder in one page (instead of spread out on two pages IYSWIM).

I'm so happy! Am I pathetic? Maybe. But this is a victory for me as every single time in trains/planes/buses etc, the person next to me spreads over my seat because they are taller/larger. Ha!

[Lweji]

or kicking them as Lweji does.

Only a very light kick. Not violent.

As moving your hand and sticking out a knuckle by the hand that is being squashed by a leaner is not violence.
It's saying "I'm here and I'll make you as uncomfortable as you're making me by being inconsiderate".

Are you a leaner? Because that's probably the only way you can sympathise with them.

[PurplePillowCase]

@twopoint exactly as @Alconleigh describes.
no punch, just letting the 'leaner' feel that they need to move.

[TwoPoint]

Ah, light kicks are okay! Be sure to carry that over to the relationships board won't you.



That poster's only changing his/her story now. It was about him/her using violence (mild) to get their hand where they want and ramming their knuckles into someone's back. They still aren't consistent now. Is it a "ram" when they want to get their hand there is it a knuckle ram when their hand's being squashed?

I'm not a leaner. I wasn't before and now I don't live in London I can't remember the last time I was on public transport. I'm quite tall so holding on to the above rails or straps is easiest.

I'm not looking to argue as I can see it's pointless. I'm just disappointed that stamping, kicking and ramming is all apparently acceptable against men and that they have it coming if they're inconsiderate on public transport.

[TwoPoint]

PurplePillowCase

I wish you were brave enough not to change your story or to grow up and ask someone to move before "letting [them] know" with your knuckles.

As I said, if you rammed your knuckles into my back I'd perfectly legally give you an immediate hard shove backwards away from my space.

If you were blocking the exit of a tube, is someone entitled to let you know with a ram of their knuckles in your back?

[Mummyoflittledragon]

TwoPoint
Shoving someone backwards to get them away from you in your example is self defence and a reaction. As I already stated, I do not consider this on a par. This is not the sort of retaliation your in you post upthread appear to be condoning. It actually sounds far more violent than what Purple said. Because ramming your knuckles in your post could mean punching someone. Perhaps you didn’t mean it this way. On a forum such as this, it is difficult to tell.

[TrinitySquirrel]

I now have the ankle graze down to a fine art. Just catching the top of their ankle or foot (between the shoe and trouser cuff) with the heel of my shoe.

It's the same level of satisfaction you get when walking behind some twat on the platform (reading his phone and dawdling like a lemon) and catching the heel of their shoe with the tip of yours every now and then and acting like nothing happened.

I'm a size 18, 5ft7 and broad shouldered (with 24/7 baby carrying biceps ). I can out manspread many of them so I tend to do it before they even sit down

[geekone]

Well done OP but only in London would you have to passively aggressively move a manspreader here is Scotland we would just say "eh excuse me move you paper....PLEASE " (maybe less polite in other parts of Scotland). I find the tube an odd place everyone squashed together looking annoyed and trying so hard not to look anyone in the eye. Still I do ❤️ London really lol

[Lweji]

Menspreaders and leaners know they're doing it. They just think they can get away with it.

[NootNoot]

Manspreading is very real, but so also is women using handbags/bags to take up a seat.

Massive manspreading win on a SW train, the 2 facing 2 seats had 1 empty seat left by the window. 3 men (who were sort of manspreading-off against each other). "Excuse me please" to them to move their legs so I could take the empty seat. 1 moved, 2 others glared at me & didn't move an inch. I think I trod on 3 feet in total (the train was now moving) & almost sat on one's lap. There is NO need for that level of obnoxiousness on a crowded train, I've paid my fare like you, so I shall sit on a vacant seat.

[Lweji]

so also is women using handbags/bags to take up a seat.

Yes, but it's not a female exclusive. Men are just as bad with their suitcases and backpacks. A McDonald's meal once.

[DaphneCanDoBetterThanFred]

Back in the day, when I was young and hungover and on a tube I was quite feisty about my personal space. Once, a youngish bloke sat next to me and spread his legs out so one was pushing against mine. I tried crossing my legs but that was uncomfortable, so after a few minutes of quietly seething I uncrossed my legs and flung my right leg over his marauding left leg. Then stretched and pretended to fall asleep. He slid it out from under me and apologised. Maybe that's that way forward?

[Slightlyperturbedowlagain]

here is Scotland we would just say "eh excuse me move you paper....PLEASE angry" (maybe less polite in other parts of Scotland).
One of my colleagues has a very broad Glaswegian accent. He's as gentle as anything, but he does find it useful when other people are being idiots