To not want to reward DD for almost poisoning the dog?!

[SwearyBerry]

Dd (11) was given a large chocolate Santa
at the weekend as a congratulations gift for taking part in a production at our local theatre.
She gets home, leaves it on the sofa, we all go out for a few hours, and the dog eats it!! Chocolate is extremely toxic to dogs, she is ok, but things could have been different if it had been dark chocolate, or if there was more of it.
Fast forward to today - I rang DH earlier from the supermarket- DH asks me to buy Dd a replacement Santa. I didn't, and told DH that I won't be replacing something Dd couldn't be arsed to take care of. DH thinks I'm being harsh - he says he can separate the fact that the dog was almost poisoned from the fact that Dd has made a significant achievement in participating in the theatre production and deserves to have her reward for it.
I think that Dd should take accountability for leaving chocolate (which she knows is potentially poisonous to dogs) at her arse. Also, she needs to take responsibility for her belongings - if she was that interested in santa, she'd have put him somewhere safe? AIBU to refuse to replace choccy Santa?

[kaytee87]

If she was asked to move it and knows it's bad for the dog then no I wouldn't replace it. I see you've changed your mind now though, I suppose you know her best.

[Lizzie48]

I would replace the chocolate Santa, it was very careless but a genuine mistake. I expect she was very distressed to realise that the dog could easily have died as a result.

I'm glad your dig is ok.

[Butterymuffin]

She didn't force feed it to the dog. The dog all but "stole" it.

This. And as you've now said, you and your DH have a responsibility to check rooms too. But you've said you're replacing it now, which I think it's very reasonable of you.

[Iris65]

You did the right thing by not replacing it.

[karriecreamer]

Your DD will probably have forgotten about it now anyway. The moment has passed. Don't replace it and just never mention it again.

[alreadytaken]

Children get masses of chocolate at Christmas, doesnt she already have another santa anyway?

I probably wouldnt replace it and certainly wouldnt be rushing to do so.

[MysweetAudrina]

There is probably so little chocolate content in those Santa's that it Southside affected the greedy dog. Personally I probably wouldn't replace it as it's only a chocolate Santa and it is a lesson in natural consequences which is always good. If my 10 or 8 year old did the same I would just think tough. Dog are my dds new headphones after she had been told not to leave them in his reach. He chews their cuddly toys too if he gets a chance and I don't replace those either. He's their dog too and he has been around them long enough to know his habits.

[HermioneIsMe]

Nope I wouldnt either.
It was her chocolate and her responsibility to take care of it.
She has had her reward so doesn’t need another one.
She lost the reward (the dog ate it but it could have been dropping it in the mud, leaving it melt next to a radiator or whatever other thing) because she wasn’t careful. Her loss.

Another reason that I wouldn’t replace said Santa is because this would be running at support her, place her at the place of the victim of circumstances that couldn’t be helped (she isn’t). Esp at 11yo (and Y7??) she needs to learn about independance, responsibility and taking care of her own stuff.

[WildwestWind]

Buy some replacement chocolate - all sit down and eat it whilst congratulating daughter on her performance and having a quick chat about collective responsibilities for ensuring family pets are looked after. Then take the dog on a long walk to cheer it up

[haveacupoftea]

I wouldn't replace it and I'm softy. Learning experiences like this are how children build resilience.

[Mix56]

She had her reward. She was told to put somewhere safe. She didn't. No replacement

[WhatATimeToBeAlive]

I wouldn't replace it but because she didn't look after it, not because the dog ate it. She needs to learn to take care of her possessions not assume they'll be replaced at the drop of a hat.

[Summerisdone]

I was all ready to agree with you OP, and say that at 11 your DD should know better and needs to take responsibility blah blah blah.
Then I remembered how last Christmas, I (at 27) left a box of mince pies on the kitchen side and came in to my very happy with himself dog and a an empty box of mince pies

He was ok luckily, but it did have me worried sick for the following few days.

So I guess we can all make mistakes sometimes and she is only 11, so more forgivable at her age, plus she probably feels awful for it already anyway

[Scabbersley]

Buy some replacement chocolate - all sit down and eat it whilst congratulating daughter on her performance and having a quick chat about collective responsibilities for ensuring family pets are looked after. Then take the dog on a long walk to cheer it up

This.

[mum11970]

I wouldn’t replace it. We have 4 dogs and I do not replace anything left where the dogs can get it.

[SilverBirchTree]

I think you'd be missing a great chance for a life lesson if you replaced it.

She was rewarded for her efforts, and even if the Santa is gone, at her age she'd probably understand that the recognition and gratitude she received for a job well done is the real reward.

Poor dog. Glad there was no long lasting harm done.

[Sallystyle]

I would replace it. People fuck up and make mistakes. Not everything has to be turned into a life lesson. I am sure she has learned not to do it again because she knows that the dog could have been harmed and she feels bad about it.

My almost 11 year old is well aware that actions have consequences but I can teach that with a bit of kindness thrown in.

If she has a history of not looking after her stuff then that would be different, but for a one off mistake like that feeling guilty about potentially harming the dog is a life lesson in itself.

[SwearyBerry]

Thanks for all your responses, opinions seem to be fairly divided. As I said I've decided to replace it, whilst having another conversation about all of us taking responsibility for our belongings AND the dog.
Like pp said, it's not like the dog hasn't eaten anything untoward in my care (known to practically inhale goose poo in the local park when she was a puppy) and I know I've felt bad enough about that without anyone needing to have any of my chocolate confiscated.
It's not like she'll not have plenty of other opportunities to learn about consequences.

[ElBandito]

I would replace it with something non-chocolatey.

[GinIsIn]

If I had already told her not to leave it out because of the dog, not only would I not be replacing it, we would be having a firm talk about how it ever happens again, there will be no more chocolate in the house full stop. It’s so dangerous!