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AIBU?

Scrooge-like I know but all this lark is getting a bit much...

256 replies

Jacobandcara · 29/11/2017 07:19

Are we ruining Christmas? I remember only 30 years ago Christmas was mentioned a few times the weeks before, I got a quick visit to Santa at the garden centre, wrote a letter and sent it up that chimney and wore an angel costume made out of a pillow case. Magical times.
Nowadays it's all gone crazy. Mums on our local facebook 'what's on' page are clamouring over booking several 'experience' events which cost 20-30 pounds a ticket. So Santa on a train...or visit Santa cove or lights all over the local zoo and we will charge you an arm and a leg. And from the reviews on Facebook people are splashing nearly 100 quid and often these events are badly managed with hours of queing and disappointment.
Christmas eve boxes. And now today I'm a grinch for not doing a 1st of Dec box. Wtf.
The bloody elf on the shelf....yawn.
It used to be just the occassional oddball that put their decorations up in November and now it's ten a penny.
Supermarkets selling ready made nativity costumes for 15quid.
A friend of mine has just paid 20quid for a personalised Santa letter reply. Honestly.
Wheres the charm and magic when it's all drawn out over weeks and weeks?
Bah humbug Grin

OP posts:
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LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 29/11/2017 10:28

Regarding Christmas lights and decorations, many of the councils civic amenity sites/recycling centres now do re-use of electricals. These are sold to the public (suitably PAT tested) and generally are donated back after Christmas - to be sold again.

I think that's an excellent way of keeping the stuff out of landfill and providing low cost things that people want.

You should see the stuff at some of the bigger sites - Warwickshire, South Gloucestershire and Surrey to name just a few local authorities that have them - all have re-use shops selling all kinds of stuff and much of it new.

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reluctantbrit · 29/11/2017 10:28

I think there are person who go over the top and some who just think there is unfortunately not enough time in the day so they try the best they can buy buying the magic.

When I grew up my mum was at home, we had ample time in the afternoon to do things, bake, make decorations.

Compared to my mum, I work 3 days a week, on my days off DD is unfortunately busy in the afternoons with extra school work, so the only time to do things is the weekends. And there are just 3 of them and even they are filled with things from her clubs.

This year DD break for Christmas already on the 15th, unusual and even more unusual, I can take time off. Normally I have to work and DH is doing childcare. So this year is one of the few I can do things with her on the days before Christmas instead of rushing everything and squeezing it into the weekends.

But even with having trips or other events we still teach DD about the actual meaning of Christmas. She never expect something, she asks for things and understands when we don't do traditions other friends are doing.

I never understood how people do the Elf-thing. Who wants to wreck the house 24 days long? How has the time in the morning to clear up or even enjoy the mayhem? SAHM with pre-schoolers?

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SantasLittleMonkeyButler · 29/11/2017 10:31

One of our local Christmas attractions is at a reindeer farm. Under previous management, it used to be an excellent half-day out at a reasonable price.

A couple of years ago it changed hands. For the past two years, FB has been full of people complaining how much things have changed, how long queues for the sleigh ride are (despite booking a time slot) and generally how disappointing it all is.

This year the price has increased significantly. Not quite 50%, but not far off. Again, FB is full of people saying how it isn't worth the money blah, blah, blah.

It still sold out for December weekends by the end of October/early November.

I really do feel like some people think it's a competition to take their DCs to the most (or all) "experiences". People who know it's not worth the money and have commented the same on FB, or commented how disappointed they were last year are still paying around £120 for a family of 4 for a half-day Santa visit.

We are going to the pantomime - because we went last year and it was brilliant - and we are going to see Santa locally for the princely sum of £6 per child. That'll do for us Xmas Smile.

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SukiTheDog · 29/11/2017 10:32

I agree. It’s all ludicrous. I think about all the hard up families going into debt this year, every year, buying XBoxes and iPads and the like.

As a kid, we got one main prezzy. The rest were maybe a selection box or some nice soaps/new slippers/a nightie etc. I think it’s a bloody mess now. And there are sites you can go on to exchange “unwanted” gifts. Dreadful.

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CatsAndCairngorms · 29/11/2017 10:32

AWeek I buy things from charity shops too! But there are a few shops in my town that won't even accept donations in December or January because of the insanity of the pre/post Christmas clear out.

And yes, I do give away unwanted presents - but they're not always wanted elsewhere (see previous point). Did DD enjoy the Sanra visits last year? Ultimately, not nearly as much as she enjoyed things like decorating the tree, walking round the neighbourhood to look at lights, etc. So I'm reigning it in a bit this year.

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LagunaBubbles · 29/11/2017 10:35

Someone on facebook was saying she starts buying extras for Christmas such as all different chocolates, tins of nuts, alcohol, cakes, biscuits etc in October to spread the cost. There is only her, her DH and 2 children. Why do they need all that? She mentioned about 10 different types of pickles - red cabbage, onions, piccalli, brown pickle, caramelized red onion etc!

See this is what I mean - why do you care what other people spend and eat at Christmas? I find it strange some people cant understand that others like to do Christmas different from them and if that involves a mountain of different pickles, so what.

Why do they need it? How about because thats what they want to buy.

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Mac12345 · 29/11/2017 10:38

We don't go overboard, we put the tree and decoratipns up in the first week of Dec. My kids are too young to enjoy 'experiences' but I wouldn't mind taking them occasionally when they're older. I'm excited for Panto! The theatre is always so fun and special as a kid.

We always went to our gran's WI panto when we were little and loved it!! My poor parents struggled through for our sake ;)

Christmas is more about good food traditions for us. There are things I only make this time of year, and lots of mulled wine!

For me Christmas is also carol singing, candlelight, old churches with beautiful choirs and a nativity in the corner.

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GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 29/11/2017 10:43

Heartening to read so many who are anti all the tat/excess.
Christmas was always magical for me as a kid without so much of the stuff that is common now. Just the tree, familiar old decorations, Father Christmas coming! - things like tangerines that we only ever had at Christmas.
We never even had Advent calendars - I still love the trad ones with pictures - and preferably glitter! - and treat myself to one every year.

I used to have a neighbour - same age as me - who'd buy a whole new set of decorations every year for her large tree - all one tasteful colour. I know it's common now but struck me as such a waste of money then, especially when she often complained of being hard up.

She asked me once what colour tree we were having this year.
Er, green! With all the old familiar decorations, including whatever dds had made at nursery when they were 3, and, since my mother died, some very non-stylish ones we had when I was little. They will never be binned for anything more 'tasteful', at least not while I'm still here!

Having said all that, each to their own if they can afford it, but it's awful that some people feel they have to do all the excess tat when it means either getting into debt, or getting into even more debt in order that their children don't feel 'deprived'.

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thetemptationofchocolate · 29/11/2017 10:44

I'm a bit confounded by Christmas Eve boxes and thought I would go off and google it to find out what they are.

The result have me ho ho ho-ing in a hollow way. The very first thing google brings up is a thread on MN, where someone is asking what they are. The first answer on that thread is, go and google it.

Fortunately, lower down the thread someone does explain what these boxes are, otherwise I'd be in a never-ending loop of Christmassy confusion :)

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AiryFairy1 · 29/11/2017 10:47

I agree, there’s far too much excess. However, of course people can buy/ eat what they want, but why broadcast it all over FB, insta etc? After watching Blue Planet I always feel so depressed about the amount of junk in the sea that’s poisoning the wildlife Sad I just hope those who go bananas at Christmas have some awareness of the environmental impact all their stuff has. Rant over x

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LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 29/11/2017 10:50

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER your post made me smile. It reminded me of when my mother got a new artificial tree (it was beautiful) but she then felt that the older, more traditional decorations that we'd had and loved as kids just didn't match up to the new 'more beautiful' decorations she'd bought.

I remember feeling very sad about it and snuck all the old decorations back on the tree, wherever I could, as they'd 'earned their place'. She would take them off, I would put them back on... a fun game it turned out to be.

I've got all those old decorations now and will always have room for them. Blush

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BarbaraofSevillle · 29/11/2017 10:53

Ha ha temptation. I've just done the same about December 1st boxes, because that's a new one on me - I'd heard of the Christmas Eve boxes, which I believe is a ruse to get excited DCs to go to bed early somthing like hot chocolate, a small present and new pyjamas, but not Dec 1st boxes, and like you, the first result is a Mumsnet thread about what these are. I am now educated, and baffled at the same time.

Why does everything need to go in a box? It's like the evil that is the Boots gift set, which is mostly cheap toiletries encased in far too much packaging, although to be fair, I think they have reduced the packaging in recent years and seem to trending towards mostly cardboard and less plastic.

No-one would buy anyone Dove or Lynx unboxed off the supermarket shelf so why does putting it into unnecessary packing, tripling the price and putting it into a 3 for 2 deal make it into a suitable present?

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VioletCharlotte · 29/11/2017 10:54

Its consumerism at its worst. Aggressive marketing tactics, fuelled by social media, are making us believe our children are misusing out in something if they're not having all these 'experiences'. I loathe it, Christmas shouldn't be about spending shed loads of cash.

I love Christmas and like to build up to it from the beginning of December, but you don't have to spend money to do that. Things like making your home cosy, going for winter walks, baking, Christmas crafts can all be done for little or no money.

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Allthetuppences · 29/11/2017 10:55

My cousin* does it ALL. A book a day, an advent calendar, decorations up for 1st December. Photos, breakfasts and days with santa and elves and random childrrn's tv characters, christmas family photo shoot, lrttrrs and messages to and from santa. Posts pictures of obscene piles of gifts, christmas eve box, christmas pjs and family outfits etc etc. She puts it all on facebook and talks about making memories. Which is a load of self serving crap because the children wont remember as none of it is unusual to them. They look so bloody bored. Whenever I can't avoid a visit in December she is constantly getting them to pose with hot chocolate or christmas movie box covers. Fucking nightmare.
*actual family relationship may be different as she'll rip my face off.

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Butterfr33 · 29/11/2017 10:57

It's gone way OTT and starts WAY too early! Christmas shouldn't be mentioned until December! I'm sick of Christmas lasting 3 months! It has been completely spoiled IMO.

It's not even December and I'm already sick of Christmas. It's more a chore than a joy these days.

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EvilDoctorBallerinaRoastDuck · 29/11/2017 10:58

I can't wait until the week before to find out what they want for Christmas! I wouldn't be able to afford it! I bought their presents in October. I am "bah humbug" about decorations or mince pies before December though. I've already bought their Christmas jumpers because I know they'll need them for school, and it's been bloody cold for a month, I can't buy them 2 jumpers each.

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TaylorTinker · 29/11/2017 11:00

My Viz top tip is to go against the flow so it works in your favour. I used to take the kids swimming in the fortnight before Christmas: pools were remarkably empty.

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TaylorTinker · 29/11/2017 11:02

Tbh Christmas jumpers we pinned tinsel to normal jumper. Luckily my kids were never bothered about what they wore until they hit 13.

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LagunaBubbles · 29/11/2017 11:02

It's not even December and I'm already sick of Christmas. It's more a chore than a joy these days

Thats a shame, for us its all magical and something we always look forward to and enjoy. Lights, decorations, loads presents for the kids, lots food and drink and lots and lots of family time and traditions...for us thats not a chore, its great! We are all different.

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TheFaerieQueene · 29/11/2017 11:04

This year I have backed right off from the Christmas hoopla because my father is now bed bound with dementia.

As a family we are buying him a specially adapted chair for him to have time out of bed. It is costing us thousands, so we aren’t doing presents. We are spending most of the day with him in his nursing home and won’t be having a Christmas lunch - he will Grin

I just don’t have the desire to really make a fuss (I don’t have young children anymore) this year and it is such a relief. We will be seeing friends and hosting winter lunches over the period, but not frantically shopping is liberating.

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EvilDoctorBallerinaRoastDuck · 29/11/2017 11:07

Which is great Lunas, but my DC would lynch me. They'd be the only kids in uniform. Every year, they get told, if you're not wearing a Christmas jumper, your parents will have to bring your uniform in. Nobody wants to be that kid.

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EvilDoctorBallerinaRoastDuck · 29/11/2017 11:12

Taylor mine didn't have any jumpers, last years had already gone to the charity shop, so I had to buy them jumpers anyway, they might as well be Christmas ones. A family started giving me a lecture about spending money, until I pointed out that they'd be wearing them all year round until 2019. She doesn't realise that the jumpers don't just appear out of nowhere. Hmm

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biscuiteater · 29/11/2017 11:12

I've noticed that there's a trend now to celebrate Advent rather than Christmas.
Decorations up very early but then by the time it is actually Christmas people are sick of the sight of their decorations and are putting them away on Boxing Day! Christmas lasts for 12 days so until Epithany on 6th Jan. I find it all a bit sad.

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LunasSpectreSpecs · 29/11/2017 11:19

if these expensive toys make their way to a charity shop where the less well off or more thrifty of those among us - ME want to buy them and benefit a charity its a win win situation. The person buying from the charity shop is one less person buying at source and getting far more value out of the toy and is more likely to eventually give it back to charity.

This would be true. But as a charity shop volunteer i know exactly what will be winging our way come the first week in January. It will be all the novelty Christmas socks, jumpers, onesies, plates, decorations, candles, crackers, wall hangings, bedding etc. Nobody buys tinsel in January so it gets boxed up (if it's good enough) and stored. In a unit which we have to PAY for.

We will also get loads of Baylis and Harding gift sets. Unopened and unused fine, those can be sold at any time of the year. But if you've used some of it, we're not allowed to sell it on and it gets binned. We'll be deluged with rice cookers, facial steamers and other gadgets which we can't sell as we can't PAT test. So again it COSTS money for us to send it somewhere that can. That cute and cuddly soft toy from China without a CE mark? Illegal to sell, so in the bin.

We will also get lots of broken toys, incomplete jigsaws and other assorted tat which people have cleared out of their houses to make way for all the new tat. Most of it will go in the bin.

So no, it's not a win win for the charity unless we are getting good quality, unused donations which people might actually want to buy.

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Lostflipflop · 29/11/2017 11:40

I have already had a "friend" on fb have a huge rant about how she will post pics everyday of her elf on the shelf as well as the huge pile of presents on christmas morning. How her and her husband have worked hard for it and if they want to make memories of sharing it on fb then she will, and you know where the delete button is if you don't like it blah blah blah!

It's everything that is wrong with Christmas these days!

I genuinely wonder if social media didn't exist then would people go so crazy? Really sad!

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