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AIBU?

Scrooge-like I know but all this lark is getting a bit much...

256 replies

Jacobandcara · 29/11/2017 07:19

Are we ruining Christmas? I remember only 30 years ago Christmas was mentioned a few times the weeks before, I got a quick visit to Santa at the garden centre, wrote a letter and sent it up that chimney and wore an angel costume made out of a pillow case. Magical times.
Nowadays it's all gone crazy. Mums on our local facebook 'what's on' page are clamouring over booking several 'experience' events which cost 20-30 pounds a ticket. So Santa on a train...or visit Santa cove or lights all over the local zoo and we will charge you an arm and a leg. And from the reviews on Facebook people are splashing nearly 100 quid and often these events are badly managed with hours of queing and disappointment.
Christmas eve boxes. And now today I'm a grinch for not doing a 1st of Dec box. Wtf.
The bloody elf on the shelf....yawn.
It used to be just the occassional oddball that put their decorations up in November and now it's ten a penny.
Supermarkets selling ready made nativity costumes for 15quid.
A friend of mine has just paid 20quid for a personalised Santa letter reply. Honestly.
Wheres the charm and magic when it's all drawn out over weeks and weeks?
Bah humbug Grin

OP posts:
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SoMuchToBits · 29/11/2017 09:35

Also, I don't think it's Scrooge-like to feel this way about consumerism. You can still celebrate with good food, decorations, Christmas music, small thoughtful gifts. No-one is saying you are not allowed to enjoy yourself! But I don't think children need excessive consumption to have a lovely time and nor do adults.

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Nakedavenger74 · 29/11/2017 09:38

Just checked and my very favourite, last years disasterous Bakewell Winter Wonderland (google it, its hilarious) was happening on 21st November. I've heard nothing this year. Are the scammers slacking off?
They are an analogy for Xmas really. The adverts imply that everything will be twinkly cheer, light-up-their-faces-with-wonder type thing when everyone knows the reality is this. No matter how many Xmas eve boxes(??) and Elves are on your bleddy shelves.

Scrooge-like I know but all this lark is getting a bit much...
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Gudgyx · 29/11/2017 09:42

Oh you are all scrooges!

I agree it has gone a bit mad. I don't think we go TOO overboard (OH wouldn't let me, he is the ultimate scrooge) but DD is 2.5 this year and is so excited, she has been singing jingle bells on repeat for weeks, and has worn a santa dress the past 2 days. Had to wrestle it off her to wash it last night! No December boxes or stupid days out every weekend in December here though.

We have the elf, not to do the creepy watching thing, but just for a bit of fun. She has an advent calendar, just a bog standard pound chocolate paw patrol one. We're going shopping on Saturday for some new Christmas deccies as mine are ancient, then putting our tree up in the afternoon.

I'll take her to see santa at some point, and she will have a Christmas eve box just with some new pyjamas, a chocolate santa, a Christmas jigsaw and a book for before bed (all from the pound shop, except the jammies which will be primarks finest).

One thing I won't apologise for is what we spend on presents for her and each other. She doesn't get new toys etc randomly throughout the year, only her birthday and Christmas. DP and I work bloody hard, him out the house16/17 hour days sometimes, and I've worked in my industry 12/13 years, gradually climbing the career ladder to where I am now. We both make half decent money, not loads, but enough to spoil our daughter at Christmas if we damn well want to. I buy him presents I think he'll like, he does the same.

My DD's little face just lights up whenever she sees a decorated Christmas tree, I love that she is feeling the Christmas magic already. There's nothing quite like it, imo.

Until a few years ago when my brother and I moved out, my dad still woke everyone up on Christmas morning shouting SANTAS BEEN!! Him and the dog both dressed as Santa. The youngest person in the house at the time would have been about 22 (my sister).

And my colleague is just as daft on Christmas as I am. So much so, we are having a Christmas afternoon on Friday (operational requirements permitting) where we are putting our office tree up, putting Michael Buble's Christmas album and having hot chocolate with skooshy cream amd marshmallows.

So yeah I'll be the hated one on this thread and say I am absolutely Christmas daft, and Merry Christmas to you all :D :D :D

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jojojoeyjojo · 29/11/2017 09:42

I love this thread...just sums it all up really. I know it's not hurting me...but why do people put up their Xmas decorations in November....just why? I find it totally baffling. With all the hype and everything being a 'thing' now....how can Christmas end up being nothing more than a massive anti-climax, especially for children.

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PuppyMonkey · 29/11/2017 09:45

The "experience" thing has definitely exploded in the last few years, but I can clearly remember 30 years ago there was plenty of hype/advertising/promotions going on. "Mentioned a few times" - nope, think you're misremembering a bit there...

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VileyRose · 29/11/2017 09:46

It's Mainly for parents to compare.

We don't do elf on shelf/Xmas eve box etc just a plain old chocolate calender and a garden centre visit to Santa :-)

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LagunaBubbles · 29/11/2017 09:52

People should have the Christmas they want, do what they want and dont do what they dont want to, will never understand why so many people here on MN seem to care what others do at Christmas. Nothing is compulsory. I put my decorations and tree up when I like, which this year will be this weekend and take my children to stuff, I dont spend every weekend running around daft getting stressed so I dont understand this mentality. I also spend what I like. They are my children and we all love the run up to Christmas Day to.

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LagunaBubbles · 29/11/2017 09:53

I know it's not hurting me...but why do people put up their Xmas decorations in November....just why

Well funnily enough because we generally want to. Hmm

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LagunaBubbles · 29/11/2017 09:55

how can Christmas end up being nothing more than a massive anti-climax, especially for children

Decorations always go up end November....nope, my children are 24, 15 and 9 now and I can say that Christmas has never been a "massive anti-climax" ever for any of them or me and DH. We love them.

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LagunaBubbles · 29/11/2017 09:57

Gudgyx you are my Christmas twin! Grin

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GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 29/11/2017 10:03

Haha - OP, your original post was pretty much a replica of what was going through my head this morning listening to the radio on my drive to work. Bloody Xmas songs already - it's not even December yet and we've got a bloody month of this crap!

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onlyconnectfour · 29/11/2017 10:04

It's all about clarss, innit?

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HuskyMcClusky · 29/11/2017 10:06

It's all about clarss, innit?

No. How?? Bloody hell, mumsnet can make anything about ‘class’. Hmm

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Aweektilltheseason · 29/11/2017 10:07

I disagree op.

People are simply celebrating more, You can make more of an effort at Halloween over and above a pumpkin, you can decorate with beautiful hand made leaf garlands...go for a walk in a wood, choose stunning colored leaves, thread them cotton, done. Very cheap and effective.
Going to see the Nutcracker every year, hardly mad consumerism. Going on days out adds to the magic, it doesn't take anything away.

We have xmas bedding now, and beautiful xmas plates. It marks the time out as different thats all.

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LagunaBubbles · 29/11/2017 10:08

It's all about clarss, innit?

In what way?

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CatsAndCairngorms · 29/11/2017 10:08

Laguna I agree with everything you say but I also agree with the OP.

For me there are two problems: 1. Environmental. The mountains of presents that are broken/stuffed into a cupboard/dumped at the charity shop. Same goes for the cheapo landfill Christmas jumpers and shitty decorations that you can pick up cheaply. I've spoken to people who bin all their decorations after Christmas and buy new ones each year. That kind of behaviour on a mass scale does impact others.

  1. No, nothing is compulsory... But my daughter is having a Santa visit at nursery, ballet, music... etc etc.. And yes I could keep her home from these but then she'd be upset as all her friends would be doing it. So I pay £5/£10 a pop and she meets Santa after Santa and gets a present in which she's not very interested and it just all feels a bit crass and far from magical.


So I agree in that we celebrate the way we want (which includes some decorations going up in November, for us that's because we love the lights, fun days out but no mania, similar to you) but I do think the general hysteria and wastefulness can have unpleasant knock on effects.

I also really agree with the PP who said that all the year's holidays and getting more commercial, more hyped and yet don't seem to actually bring any extra joy - it's always straight onto the next thing.
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LagunaBubbles · 29/11/2017 10:13

So I pay £5/£10 a pop and she meets Santa after Santa and gets a present in which she's not very interested and it just all feels a bit crass and far from magical.

Thats a shame then if thats how you feel. When my eldest 2 were younger we only did one official proper visit to Santa at a Grotto as a family and yes they had a few others, school Christmas Fayre maybe but not an endless procession of Santas and they were always really interested in the present from Santa, usually just a selection box or something, they loved it!

And our Christmas decorations have been built up over many many years, I would never throw them out every year...dont get that!

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thisonehasalittlecar · 29/11/2017 10:15

Going to a crap Winter Wonderland now seems to be an integral part of the de rigeur round of Christmas extras. You won't consider your festive experience complete until you've queued for an hour to trawl around a muddy field with a few burger vans and a sad reindeer. You will be actually disappointed to show up and find a beautiful well-organised event that enchants your children, because then you will miss out on the other major tradition of getting your disappointed face in the local paper.

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BarbaraofSevillle · 29/11/2017 10:18

Binning Christmas decorations and buying new ones each year is a disgusting, shocking waste of money and resources and anyone who does that should be ashamed of themselves. Cannot they not even be bothered to give them to charity?

I wouldn't believe that people do that, but it's probably the same thought process as when people go to festivals with fairly cheap camping equipment and just leave it all there when they leave.

It shows what a divided country we have become, with people that don't even have enough money for basic necessities, while others are so comfortable that they can afford to regard things that should last through a few uses at least as disposable?

When we got our first house in 1995 I bought 2 sets of reduced tree baubles in random mixed colours from BHS a few days before Christmas and we are still using them and they are still in good condition. Since then I've bought a few more individual ones to add to the collection, generally a couple of nicer ones each time I've seen them reduced in the run up to Christmas.

People need to stop and think about what all this consumerism is doing to the planet. Sad

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AmIAWeed · 29/11/2017 10:18

I would far rather spend my money on experiences than gifts. both kids despite been teens have asked for stuff that to me is plastic tat, so instead I am focusing on the fun element and building up to Christmas. I do go a little OTT but its about building it up so we're not wiped out by Christmas.
1st December Ballet tickets to the nutcracker plus advent calendars
2nd December Christmas light turn on with all the neighbours
Following weekend we buy and decorate the tree
Weekend after (17th/18th) foraging to make our Christmas wreaths
then Christmas eve we always go out for a meal, walk along the beach and mess around at the arcades
Between Christmas and new year we book a hotel near my Dads and he stays as well.
You can make Christmas as expensive or cheap as you like but as long as my family are with me I will make sure we spend time together having fun and ignoring jobs for a month

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Aweektilltheseason · 29/11/2017 10:19
  1. Environmental. The mountains of presents that are broken/stuffed into a cupboard/dumped at the charity shop.


^^ someone has to pay full price for all sorts of toys and games and if these expensive toys make their way to a charity shop where the less well off or more thrifty of those among us - ME want to buy them and benefit a charity its a win win situation. The person buying from the charity shop is one less person buying at source and getting far more value out of the toy and is more likely to eventually give it back to charity.
gets a present in which she's not very interested and it just all feels a bit crass and far from magical


Give it away! Put it in a charity shoe box! Did your DD really not enjoy the visit? Did she say - mummy that was crass???

Millions of people mark out different days and put decs up and celebrate! It creates more joy and more fun! A few decs at easter - halloween and xmas in a long year of 365 is really not a big deal.
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Ijustlovefood · 29/11/2017 10:22

Yes we are. However I'm not getting sucked in and can't be bothered with all that Elf on the Shelf malarkey.
I'm just happy to do what I did as a child.

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MammaTJ · 29/11/2017 10:22

I'm with you on this. My children expect a drive around town looking at all the decorated houses sometime near Christmas, we do not do a Christmas eve box, but we do usually do a craft related to Christmas in the afternoon,useful to calm them when the excitement is reaching fever pitch, then open the present my Auntie has usually sent them, which is pretty much guaranteed to be PJs. That's it, apart from the actual day.

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ScipioAfricanus · 29/11/2017 10:24

I agree with Cats - although we opt out from a lot of the consumerism there is a knock on effect whether you like it or not (so yes, one is entitled to be annoyed by it although I don’t go around actually telling people I think their decorations are up to early etc). Last year we were at extended family for Christmas and the mountain of presents for the children was disgusting (at the same time it was hugely generous and warm of them). We try to get our DS only a few presents so then if everyone else gives zillions it actually affects that effort to make him appreciate fewer things and try to being him up as less of a consumer.

The millions of experiences thing has changed so much in recent years, and not just at Christmas. It used to be one trip to see Santa and maybe a festive film etc, now it’s nonstop outings and special events everywhere you go (even if you go to a NT property or something they are always doing tie in events), and yes, I think overall it decreases excitement because children don’t develop any anticipation. Throughout the year there is a pressure to go to events and outings and I often feel like a cruel mother for not taking my child to more, but I want him to appreciate these as treats, not normal everyday activities.

The whole thing is not shops ‘responding’ to customers, it is people being manipulated by commerce as part of a capitalist society, and once I saw it through those eyes I couldn’t really un-see it and I do find the waste and the spending unpleasant. I know that’s not the same as putting decorations up early but often the build up goes along with the other stuff so if feels like part of the same phenomenon.

I agree with PP that small family traditions feel good and sustainable, such as making biscuits or decorations together.

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mydogisthebest · 29/11/2017 10:26

I love Christmas but don't see the need to spend a fortune every year. Me and DH don't have children so, obviously, that makes a difference.

We buy a real tree but not until about 2 weeks before. We don't spend a lot on it - last couple of years have bought the £25 one from Ikea and you get a £20 voucher so the tree costs £5.

We spend Christmas Day with family (16 of us in total) but apart from buying the food for dinner and a few extra things like chocolates and fancy biscuits we don't buy loads of extra food.

Someone on facebook was saying she starts buying extras for Christmas such as all different chocolates, tins of nuts, alcohol, cakes, biscuits etc in October to spread the cost. There is only her, her DH and 2 children. Why do they need all that? She mentioned about 10 different types of pickles - red cabbage, onions, piccalli, brown pickle, caramelized red onion etc!

So many people think having an enjoyable time means spending loads of money even when they don't have it so have to rack up huge credit card bills.

Why have we, as a nation, become so materialistic and thinking "things" equal happiness?

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