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AIBU?

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To be fed up with people confusing dd for a boy?

95 replies

Mumsiemummy1 · 12/11/2017 08:42

Fairly light hearted and aimed more at the clothes she is wearing than just general mistakes which are completely innocent.

I have never really liked dressing DD (9months) in pink, I don't really wear pink myself, and all of her newborn stuff was pink so i got very bored of it. She now wears lots of colours, including blue, black, green, red...all girls clothes just not pink.

Whenever we are out people talk to her as a boy, "hi little man", "you're a good little boy" etc

I just find it really frustrating that I have to dress her in pink for people to call her a girl.

Anyone else share this frustration.

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Hulababy · 12/11/2017 09:20

It's not even to do with the colour ime. When Dd was tiny I remember a day of out where she was wearing a big dress and big hat. And an older couple cooing over 'the lovely baby boy.'

I just don't think people look properly often. Maybe they'd had sons or a grandson and 'baby bit' was just their first thought. I just smiled.

Branleuse · 12/11/2017 09:22

Tbh if youre particularly bothered about people misgendering a baby, then you need to dress them in stereotypical gendered clothes, because its pretty much the only way you can tell with a baby, and tbh, even older kids. My 9 year old dd had short hair with a shaved bit last year and was always getting mistaken for a boy. She didnt care, nor did I. Ds2 often used to get mistaken for a girl as a toddler cos of his blond curly hair. No big deal.

Shadow666 · 12/11/2017 09:23

Both my DDs often got mistaken for boys when they were babies/toddlers (up to around the time the turned 3). I think it was more because they weren't very blessed in the hair department as even wearing pink they often got mistaken for boys. It didn't bother me or them but I suppose if it bothers you, you can buy one of those giant bow hairbands for her. Grin

kaytee87 · 12/11/2017 09:23

Meh I had someone say ‘aw what a cute little girl’ about my son who was dressed all in navy blue at the time.

FluffyMcCloud · 12/11/2017 09:24

My teenage son has long hair and frequently gets mistaken for a girl. He couldn't care less. In the absence of factual knowledge people tend to look for known markers to tip them off - and stereotypically long hair = girl so it's not an unreasonable leap of judgement. Though why people need to know what sex your child is is a different conversation altogether. "Hi little man" - ?? Why the need to identify sex/gender in a greeting at all?

Shadow666 · 12/11/2017 09:24

Oh, and when my eldest daughter was 5, she told me that a woman told her that she dresses like a girl, but looks like a boy, so she wasn't sure what she was. DD thought it was funny. Confused

SadClown · 12/11/2017 09:26

My eldest never got mistaken for a boy, I think it was because she had so much hair. My youngest always got mistaken for a girl, I think it was because he also had a lot of hair Grin you can't win.

Dahlietta · 12/11/2017 09:28

Yup. DS1 had a few incidents of, "What a pretty little girl" as a baby. He was often wearing blue on the occasions it happened. Interestingly, DS2 gets a lot of, "Is your baby a boy or a girl?" which I think is much more polite. They both have very big, very blue eyes. I don't know if that makes them 'pretty'!

Foggymist · 12/11/2017 09:29

Apparently orange is only for girls too. My son's buggy was beige and orange, and I have a thing for autumnal colours so he had onesies with woodland scenes in brown, cream, orange, etc. Three times he was mistaken for a girl because "he is in girl colours) Confused

Also because he has curls he was called a pretty princess while wearing a navy hoodie and jeans recently. I called him my pretty princess all day Grin

RuskBaby · 12/11/2017 09:30

People don’t pay attention. DD can be dressed head to toe in pink and be called a boy. She has a navy and white stripped top with flowers and sparkles that she also gets called a boy when wearing. I guess if I stuck a bow to her head then people would refer to her as a girl but it doesn’t bother me.

stoneagemum · 12/11/2017 09:36

My sister caused a minor enquiry at a girls football tournament at primary schools ur to her pixie cut

stoneagemum · 12/11/2017 09:36

Due not ur

Hulder · 12/11/2017 09:37

I was regularly mistaken for a boy until puberty when overnight it became obvious I wasn't male Grin

Yes, I had short hair but it was in a bob FFS. Forever being asked if I enjoyed the scouts Angry

Just ignore, people don't notice much and love a sterotype.

PeapodBurgundy · 12/11/2017 09:38

I get it the other direction. DS has really long, thick eyelashes so unless he's 'proper' trousers (he's only ever in joggers or cotton stretch trousers unless we're going somewhere I want to try to make him look vaguely neat), he often gets mistaken for a girl. He's 20 months now, so it's happening less than when he was tiny.

isthismummy · 12/11/2017 09:39

Don't worry OP. My DH was mistaken for a girl twice at a football match last weekGrin

He's very pretty admittedly, but I feel the stubble and Adam's apple are giveaway signs.

People just don't look properly sometimes!

MiddlingMum · 12/11/2017 09:40

I once had "They can't be girls, their coats are blue." Hmm

Gileswithachainsaw · 12/11/2017 09:40

Nothing were mistaken for boys all the time regardless of what they were wearing.

I don't know what people worry so much about it. People were usually only trying to be nice saying what a lovely baby you had or how happy they were and just generally smiling and talking to them.

Let's face it there's a 50 percent chance they are wrong Grin

Gileswithachainsaw · 12/11/2017 09:40

Both mine

Rainatnight · 12/11/2017 09:41

Yep, I've had same and it really annoyed me. DD even had quite long (for a baby) hair, and was dressed in 'girls' clothes (eg florals) but because they weren't pink everyone assumed boy.

I do think people could go to more effort not to assume. I always say something like 'what a lovely baby!' Or 'what's your baby's name?' You don't have to go right in there with an assumption about sex.

rowtheboats · 12/11/2017 09:43

My DD as a baby was always called a boy, even when in pink! Only when they start to grow more hair do they look like a girl. I wouldn’t take it personally!

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 12/11/2017 09:43

What's her name? Clive. haha Grin

All you can do is laugh about it.
When I took baby ds to the doctors I was told he would grow up to be a lovely looking girl. When I explained he was a boy, the Dr said "what a shame, those eyelashes are wasted on him" Confused

Candlelight234 · 12/11/2017 09:43

I get you OP, it used to annoy me too.
I had also re-used my sons pram for my dd as it was still in good condition, however as it was blue & cream checked it perpetuated the problem.

OfficiallyUnofficial · 12/11/2017 09:44

People are just hedging their bets saying he/she.

It's politer than saying "ah what a cute potato" which is far more honest until they are toddling.

Eolian · 12/11/2017 09:46

My dd is often mistaken for a boy. She is 12 Grin. Fortunately she thinks it's funny, and it hasn't made her want to ditch her short haircut or start wearing pink. I suppose it will stop happening once she becomes a bit more obviously woman-shaped. I find it a bit exasperating though -as if people don't understand that 12 year-old girls can have short hair.

IggyAce · 12/11/2017 09:48

My DS around 9-18mths was often mistaken for a girl, it's very annoying but I did learn to laugh it off.
My friend however lost it with one guy when her DD was mistaken for a boy yet again, as he handed back a pink flowered hat that her DD had dropped.

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