Office tea making etiquette

[abbijay]

I am developing a special kind of rage for a colleague who has fairly recently joined my team about not getting involved in "brew rounds". I should, at this stage, probably point out I work in construction - tea is to builders what flour is to bakers - we don't function without it and it is a core value within any construction team. We have a nice kitchen in our office with unlimited tea and coffee so it's not like you have to pay for your drinks.
I've been here for a couple of years and if you want a drink you always offer those in your part of the office a drink too, maybe the nearest half a dozen people but not everyone will say yes every time. I probably end up drinking half a dozen cups a day and making one or 2 "rounds". (Water is an exception to this, you are "allowed" to get yourself a water without the need to offer - this is historical before my time and is openly discussed in the office).
When the "new boy" started he joined in with us, made brews and accepted our offers however over the course of 3 months he has changed his attitude (particularly following an unrelated boll0cking). Now if any of us offer a brew he declines!! But worse still once you return from the kitchen he will then toddle off on his own to make a drink just for him!! My inner builder finds this the HEIGHT of rudeness. And he, now, NEVER offers anyone else a drink.
I have taken to not very subtly hinting by making him a drink without asking or asking if I have missed out on a brew when he returns with his drink. Anyone else would have started getting back in on rounds by now but not "new boy".
This is starting to affect my working relationship with him and as his (non-supervisory) senior it should not be. Our boss is the same and it is driving us up the wall - as a team we have discussed it, as you do in office politics!
So who IBU? Me or "new boy"?

[lastnamefirstfirstnamelast]

Do you want to swap jobs?

if this is all you have to worry/get stresse about in the work place then i envy you.

Get a fricken grip. So petty.

[pinkhorse]

This must be a reverse! Surely!

[PuppyMonkey]

OMG, I'm with the new boy. In my old office, it used to be every person for themselves and then it subtly changed over the years to these enormous "tea rounds" with one particular colleague always passive aggressively asking "who's turn to make the tea?" when I was in the middle of something really complicated - and when she made a cup for me, it was REVOLTING.

Much easier to break the habit or stop it from forming in the first place like this chap.

[coddiwomple]

YAB so U it cannot be a real post!

I hate tea rounds, they are a bloody waste of time and a pain in the butt if you don't want to get involved. I hate the faffing, and when it is "Mandatory"> Unless your colleague is in charge of teh catering, then he sounds efficient and perfectly reasonable.

I sometimes offer people to make a round, when I feel like it and I have nothing better to do. Other times I do fancy a tea, but I am busy and just want to hop in the kitchen, get a drink and come back to my desk

It works so much better that way

I don't believe for a minute your post is genuine OP< but unfortunately some people seem to share your views a little bit in the real world - usually the lazier and lower rank in the office.

[amusedbush]

YABVVVU and a bit of an arsehole about this, to be honest.

I'm in a team of 12 people and we all make our own drinks. You can't expect someone to make rounds of tea just because that's how you like to do things.

[Slimthistime]

tea rounds are mad
your colleague is wise.

[TuckingFaxman]

Is this a reverse?

[GuestWW]

Tea etiquette is big in our office too - it is the kind of banter that helps us get through the day. I feel your pain but think you probably need to 'let it go'...

[DiegoMadonna]

YABVU. Get over it.

[BaffledMummy]

Ha! Sounds a bit reversy to me but in case it is not YABVVVU! Leave the poor boy to it. I used to work in an office that had this etiquette and it drove me bonkers. My friend used to go around asking “you for coffee?!” in a very posh accent which made me chuckle.

[schoolgaterebel]

I tried to read your OP with a 'lighthearted' tone, because I find it hard to believe someone could get themselves so worked up over tea

[FeelingAggrieved]

Good grief.

[Thiswayorthatway]

YABU. I am a fussy bugger when it comes to my tea and would rather make my own. Maybe your colleague does too and is reluctant to say as he may offend?

[Hidingtonothing]

Another one saying YABU I'm afraid OP, I honestly don't see how it affects you if he chooses not to participate in the tea round.

[FlowerPot1234]

These tea rounds tend to only happen at junior levels in companies and they take on a perverse meaning. YABU.

Someone who does not wish to waste their time asking other people if they want a drink, spending ages in the kitchen making said drink, handing them out, doing all this at certain times and not when they just want a drink, and then waiting for someone else to make them a drink at times which may be not when they want a drink has absolutely nothing to do with "being rude". It's such a peculiar way to look at it.

Make your own drinks. You're in the middle of an email, get up and get a drink and carry on. You're thirsty, just get up and make yourself a drink. I had hoped these drink rounds were a thing of the past - they're time wasting and ludicrous.

[MinervaSaidThar]

YABU, I prefer making tea myself. I wouldn't want to carry 6 mugs of tea on a construction site, that's asking for a 'elf n safety breach.

[EndoplasmicReticulum]

I prefer to make my own tea. Nobody else does it right, and there's nothing worse than drinking crap tea. Maybe he's like me. Maybe you make crap tea.

[MischiefManagedAlways]

I work in a team of 9 and couldn't be doing with making everyone a cup of tea everytime I go to the kitchen.

You are being extremely unreasonable.

[Glumglowworm]

YABU and a dick

He doesn't want to join your pathetic little clique of tea rounds and gossip. Good for him.

No wonder every building project I've ever known is always months behind schedule, too many tea breaks and bitching breaks

[TonicAndTonic]

Does he drink the same number of cups of tea a day that everyone else does? Maybe he doesn't like it too strong/weak? Sounds like he did make an effort to fit in with the existing etiquette when he first joined the team, that's a good sign. Fair enough after a few months though to challenge the status quo a bit if it doesn't work for him. By the sounds of it he's not done anything actively offensive!

It's been over 10 years since I worked in an office that does rounds, at everywhere since then everyone just makes their own. So much easier.

[BlackBetha]

This is weird. When I worked in an office I used to just go and make myself a cup of tea as and when I felt like it.

I would have been very surprised to find that a colleague was monitoring my tea-making habits and having discussions with my boss about it!

[MrsKoala]

Thinking about it, you say he stopped making them when you gave him an unrelated bollocking? Maybe that's the key. I don't really think (having worked in HR) that giving staff 'Bollockings' is particularly good and if he feels he was treated unjustly then maybe he doesn't feel like making tea for you.

Perhaps you should be grateful, as he could have continued offering drinks and then spit in them! If i were you i'd just make my own tea from now on...

[Albatross26]

Bloody hell I didn't even know this was a thing. sounds absolutely ridiculous! Mind you I'm in a school so there'd be no time for making other people's tea, but even if there was I'd rather just get my own. Sounds like it just causes unnecessary drama! If I was the new guy I'd be looking for somewhere else to work, with people who aren't so immature!

[frieda909]

Oh god, fuck that!

I cannot stand the idea of a ‘brew round’. I hate making other people tea because I never know if I’m doing it right (flashbacks to my very fussy mother whose tea I could never seem to get right!)

In my office if someone’s making tea I might ask if they can put some extra water in the kettle for me but that’s it.

[AngelaTwerkel]

YABU. Channel that rage into something productive. Like doing your job.