to not make my children wear coats

[0utForAWalkBitch]

They're 5 and 3.
I regularly meet up with another mum, she always insists her kids wear coats (hats scarves etc in October...). I ask my kids if they want their coats and if they say no I don't force it. Her kids constantly complain they don't want their coats and ask why they need theirs on if my kids don't have to wear their coats, which leads to her having to try and answer them without offfending me 😂
AIBU to not make them wear coats if they don't want?
You don't actually catch cold from being cold as far as I'm aware, so is there any reason to force it??

[Oysterbabe]

As long as they aren't cold I don't see the problem. DD has always been a little furnace.

[ElephantsandTigers]

When I was a nanny I got the sack for not making a two year old put his gloves on before we went out in the the snow. He'd refused. I figured he'd get outside, feel the cold and put the gloves on. The mother decided that meant I wouldn't have the authority she felt was needed to potty train him .

[Justabadwife]

I can't be doing with bloody coats, dd defiantly takes after me.

This morning we had frost, so I knew it was bloody freezing outside I still just went out in a t-shirt and wooly half sleeve cardigan. I wanted to take it off within 2 milliseconds of being outside.

Dd (8) had her cardigan on and her thin waterproof (as school insist on a coat) As it gets colder she has a thick Parka she can wear. As for hats, scarves and gloves they go on as we leave the house and usually most of it is in her school bag before we get half way there.

[Branleuse]

I try and at least make them wear a hoodie or a jumper/fleece if its cold. I would make them take a coat if it got much colder than this, but im not enforcing it yet

[RavingRoo]

I’m raising dn and coats (and gloves and scarves) are not optional in when it’s properly cold. This morning was ok here as it was warm under the sun, but if it had been cloudy they would not have been allowed out without them. As the parent it’s my job to ensure they are taken care of, not to be their best friend.

[3out]

If we’re out for a walk etc then they have a coat with them (which I end up carrying after 30 seconds) but if we are walking the ten feet from the school door to the car then I don’t see the point. DS’s teacher would insist he put his coat on as it’s wet/windy outside. I would say ‘no, it’s really ok’ but she ignored me and insisted. This then meant us standing outside of the car, in the rain, whilst removing the coat before he got in the car (no big coats with seatbelts was the rule at that point). It took longer standing removing his coat than the time it would’ve taken to dart from the school to the car. Ridiculous.

[letsmargaritatime]

Yanbu, is many parents are obsessed with forcing their children to wear coats! Why? Trust the child’s own interpretation of their body temperature. If it is cold I make my dc bring a coat, and it’s their responsibility to carry it or put it in their rucksack, but I never force them to wear it

[bunerison]

I've only just managed to wrestle my 7 year old out of shorts and he came out of school today imwjth no jumper and a short sleeved short. I've got next to no chance of getting him into a coat

[Justabadwife]

DH though is a bloody nightmare. He is such a cold person I've thought about re housing him in a vivarium with a heat mat and heat lamp. 😂 he is currently wearing my slipper socks and his slippers and he still has cold feet. Heating is on full blast, I'm sat in a t-shirt and hes bundled up like its minus 5 inside. 😁

[Bluelonerose]

My ds2 (7) came in from playing tonight with his hoodie and t shirt off!!
I wouldn't worry. I make him take a coat to school. My theory is he can leave it on his peg if he don't want it.

Kids tend to be running around a lot so tend to get warner anyway.
As long as they're happy without I wouldn't worry. They'll soon say if they're cold.

[SimultaneousEquation]

When my children tell me they don’t want coats (or scarves, gloves, etc) they don’t wear them. If they get cold, they learn to put them on next time. Certainly by the age of three all of my dc were responsible for making their own decisions about how many layers to wear, and what’s appropriate. I do tell them if it’s going to rain or if they’re going to need a sunhat but I’ve never understood why children aren’t allowed to trust their own thermostats unless they have particular health needs

[Trafalgarxxx]

Well I did sorry.
Maybe not scarf etc.. as TBH they are a pain, esp for children.
But a coat yes always.

My view is that, if as an adult, I need a coat, there is no reason why my dc won't.
Yes some people don't feel the cold in the same way. But I wodnt take a child saying they aren't cold as gospel either.
Ive seen too many toddler with with no coat, no socks in a buggy where I live. All in the middle of winter. The children might not be screaming and looking like they are OK. But I very much doubt they are warm.....
The same has been proven to be true with slightly olde children.

Fwiw, we have some lengthy 'discussions' when the dcs were about 9~10yo about that. A,ONG the lines of 'no one wears a coat so why should I?' Read 'I don't want to do things differently than the others at school'.
They are now teens and wearing a coat. Because you know, actually having a coat when it's cold or raining IS a good thing....

[MyMorningHasBroken]

I do as two of mine get post viral asthma and have several asthma attacks and hospital admissions due to this. As soon as my eldest gets the slightest snivel she's off and I'm up all night with the inhaler.
If it weren't for this I probably wouldn't but she is quite a frail child anyway. As long as they are not getting ill from it and giving it to others I don't see why they should be forced to if they are warm enough.

[Helpme02]

You can't catch a cold from being cold but it lowers your immunity meaning it's more likely to catch things. Also hypothermia for young children can come on quite quickly my daughter is currently wearing coats and she will wear hats and gloves when colder not sure why it's a bad thing it's responsible 😂
Surely we all make kids wear clothes 🙈

[HotelEuphoria]

No of course you should t insist they wear one if they are hot, I a man always hot, layers are the greatest.

I wish you could buy those microlight puffs jackets when mine were kids, they are so warm and squish into the tiniest bag (that's usually sewn into a pocket).

[goose1964]

When DAD was in her early teens she went to school without a coat, following her normal behaviour she went out with friends straight from school. She turns up about 9 o clock freezing cold, not shivering and no totally coherent. Cue body warmth heating followed by a gradually warming bath. There are times when coats are needed.

[lalalalyra]

I don't make mine wear coats. I put one on the pram for the younger ones, but I don't insist.

My grandparents insisted and I detested it. Even on the coldest day of winter last year I was still wearing a hoodie at most. Sometimes I'll wear gloves if I'm pushing the pram, but I'm always warm and getting too hot makes me feel sick. I won't do that to them, they are all pretty good (bar the 1yo) at judging the need for themselves.

[Muddlingalongalone]

I'm going to firmly plonk myself on the fence her although fundamentally yanbu.
I Don't make mine wear coats because dd1 is rarely cold, but I do insist on something cardie/hoodie/fleece & they have to have a coat with them.
However dd2 (3)is a scrawny little thing who does need wrapping up more but copies her big sister - because she's a big girl - so i can see where it's difficult for your friend.

[gluteustothemaximus]

Never have forced, I've only suggested.

Would always pick up DS from school, in the winter, and he was minus his jumper let alone his coat. Never made him put it on, he was always so hot.

DD went out in shorts the other day. I said she might be cold. She insisted she would be fine. She was cold. Today does she want to wear her shorts? No. So she has learnt.

I think maybe when kids are tiny, yes, my toddler wears his coat. But elder kids can decide if they are hot or cold and manage themselves. They tend to go out without a coat, and I take it if they get cold.

[Theresamayscough]

Agree I had a friend who insisted on coats hats and gloves at the first sign of a chill. My 5 would happily run around in snow naked :)

First rule of parenting! Stick to your guns and bring your kids up how you think fit and let others do the same.

[MashaMisha]

Mine are the opposite, they love snuggling into a warm coat and scarf.

When they were little, we were living in colder climes than the UK, and coats and hats and scarves absolutely had to be worn.

Now I suppose they have got into the habit of it. Mine have several coats of different levels of warmth, and they choose which one they want to wear based on the weather, but they do tend to like being wrapped up nice and warm - DD wore a padded coat, hat, scarf and gloves on the way to school this morning.

They will take their coats off if they get too hot - but they have to carry them themselves.

I wouldn't trust a preschooler to accurately judge if they needed a coat or not personally; if I was wearing a coat, they would be in one too.

[JingleBellTime]

Neither DD wore a coat for their years of secondary school, none of the pupils did as they hated the regulation coat. In the later years the rules were relaxed and plain black coats started to appear.

We do live in the relatively warmer south east, and I was the parent who if I was cold used to tell me DC to put their coats on and if I was warm to take it off. I'm very grateful that they have now grown up as my body temperature scale is now ridiculous.

Both now have many coats and have chosen to go to university in the cold north, I know it's colder as they told me :)

[DancingLedge]

Banbury oh I remember the days of ostentatious coat carrying, for a stubbornly individual DD.
Once, in a city street, in the snow, I found myself elevating it almost to shoulder height. " See, I have a coat. She could wear a coat, if life wasn't too short to figure out how to force her rigid little arms into it. "

[BamburyFuriou3]

Well quite

[SheepyFun]

As DD is 4, I figure my responsibility is to ensure that she has access to a coat (i.e. that she can't necessarily work out if she'll feel cold later) but not to make her wear it. School are, thankfully, relaxed about her wearing it - if it's below about 5C, she will.

I've discovered that you get very judgy looks when your child is wearing short sleeves in December!