Skip to main content
Skip to main navigation
Skip to talk navigation

Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Saved Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Flip

1 2 3

AIBU?

To want a roast dinner?

63 replies

Figment1234 · 29/10/2017 11:17

Lighthearted. Kind of.

DH and I are staying at my in-laws for the weekend. They are lovely people but they aren’t the best at providing meals.

This morning DH suggested to me that we take them out for a Sunday pub lunch. I heartily agreed. I asked what we would do if they said they didn’t want to. DH’s response was that we would go out for one ourselves.

Conversation has now gone:

DH: we’d like to take you out for a pub lunch today. Shall I book it?
MIL: no thanks, we don’t want to. I’ve got a pack of frozen stir fry veg we can have for lunch.
DH: oh that will be lovely, thank you.

AIBU to be fuming at the lost roast dinner? We travelled here separately and my DH has made plans to do an activity with his brother this afternoon, which can’t involve me. Thinking of getting in the car as soon as polite, driving home and making my own bloody roast dinner!

OP posts:

Report

CoffeeWithMyOxygen · 29/10/2017 11:35

I’d have to take him to one side and ask him why the plan of the two of you going alone if the IL’s didn’t want to went out the window! Make it clear you want your roast, it’s not too late for the pair of you to go!

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 29/10/2017 11:37

He's doing an activity with his brother and you're expected to sit on the sofa reading after a frozen stir fry lunch?.

No thanks. Can't you both think of a reason like............."we don't fancy stir fry Mum, do you mind if we go alone"

brilliantslight · 29/10/2017 11:39

sashh · 29/10/2017 11:47

Take the stir fry out of the freezer and bin it.

Sparklingbrook · 29/10/2017 11:47

I would invent a reason you need to go home right away. Something to do with the house or work, a friend in need.

Then go home via a carvery.

ChickenVindaloo2 · 29/10/2017 11:50

It's shit like this that makes me realise that maybe I dodged a bullet by ending up alone.

I'm still in my dressing gown, with cat, on my own sofa, with a fridge full of delicious food at my disposal.

Ginkypig · 29/10/2017 11:50

Stir fry for lunch roast for dinner?

Sprinklestar · 29/10/2017 11:50

Well they really pushed the boat out, didn't they, OP? A pack of frozen veg?! Nothing like saying you love your new DIL... I wouldn't be going there again in a hurry!!!

MaidOfStars · 29/10/2017 11:53

I might be the only person who sees nothing wrong with stir fry for lunch/dinner on a Sunday...

Santawontbelong · 29/10/2017 11:55

Op why did you marry into such a family???

KimchiLaLa · 29/10/2017 11:57

Sounds like my MIL who once put three lettuce leaves and a boiled egg on a plate for me (I'm veg, she's not). I complained to DH and she's never done it again.

topcat2014 · 29/10/2017 12:02

I love a roast, but DD(10) is v fussy and hates them.

Thus (and I know this is going against nature) I am planning Lasagne for Christmas dinner.

It is liberating, thinking of not producing a huge meal that no-one apart from me likes.

Mind you, I make a good lasagne too.

Frozen veg on a sunday - not so keen! Sounds like a can't be arsed monday tea to me.

Sparklingbrook · 29/10/2017 12:04

There's absolutely nothing wrong with any meal for Sunday dinner. But I think it was having the carrot dangled by her DH of a meal out that has made the frozen stir fry seem even more unappealing.

Not everyone spends all day Sunday doing a roast dinner, we never do.

PandorasXbox · 29/10/2017 12:10

Op why did you marry into such a family???

Haha

You are kidding right?

Figment1234 · 29/10/2017 12:11

Yes that’s exactly it.. if I had just been told we were having stir fry veg that would have been absolutely fine. It’s the fact that my DH suggested the roast dinner and then snatched it away again! I shall be having words later!

Honestly, the family are lovely and compared to some of the ones you read about on this site they are absolutely fine. They just have a different idea about hosting to my family (and it appears many others)!

OP posts:

WorraLiberty · 29/10/2017 12:11

Op why did you marry into such a family???

I'm guessing because (as the OP says) they're lovely people

They 'aren't the best at providing meals', so she's doing the right thing by providing her own roast dinner when she gets home.

Hotheadwheresthecoldbath · 29/10/2017 12:17

Oops.We're having stir-fry for dinner,not a frozen thing in sight.
However if I had guests for a midday meal on a Sunday I would go for a roast in some form and lots of it,and a pudding.

TheDuchessofDukeStreet · 29/10/2017 12:22

Op, your family sound like mine, especially everyone reading their own books! Bliss, isn't it?

Increasinglymiddleaged · 29/10/2017 12:22

Haha this would make me see red. It may not be reasonable but it would. They sound selfish tbh, what about what everyone else wants? I can't stand sitting around in someone's house with nothing to do anyway but without even a decent meal. Can you send him alone next time?

Figment1234 · 29/10/2017 13:19

vegetables have just been consumed. They were perfectly pleasant and we also found a chicken breast so that was a turn up for the books! I’m still stopping at the supermarket on the way home!

OP posts:

PandorasXbox · 29/10/2017 13:24

Haha this would make me see red. It may not be reasonable but it would. They sound selfish tbh, what about what everyone else wants? I can't stand sitting around in someone's house with nothing to do anyway but without even a decent meal. Can you send him alone next time?

This posts sums up why there’s so many people with MIL problems with attitudes like this.

AnnieOH1 · 29/10/2017 13:43

Did DH offer to pay for everyone? Perhaps your in laws aren't too flush at the moment and/or they don't want to accept 'charity'.

Also did he invite them to the pub or did he say carvery? I only ask because both myself and DH aren't the biggest fans of roasts. For me growing up it was always Sunday roast dinner with a salad at supper time. I enjoy a roast don't get me wrong, but I have to really want to eat it. We might have one roast a month, maybe two occasionally. In a similar vein I hate carveries with a passion, never found one that was that great. I'd have a very similar reaction to your MIL if someone asked if we wanted to go to a carvery.

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Email address

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

Increasinglymiddleaged · 29/10/2017 13:43

This posts sums up why there’s so many people with MIL problems with attitudes like this.

Quite possibly, but like it or not most of us are unreasonable about something/ in some way probably even you . I think it's actually a lack of awareness of this and a need to always be right that causes the problems personally.

The OP shows an amazing lack of consideration from PIL about anyone else but themselves. That is also equally unreasonable.

Figment1234 · 29/10/2017 16:40

In the words of mumsnet I am aware I have a DH problem rather than a MIL problem! She was perfectly entitled to say no thanks for whatever reason she felt like. However, DH could have kept his promise that we would go out regardless. I expect he felt rude turning down the offered veg... he’s the loveliest guy but is very much a people pleaser. Something mumsnet has made me realise I also need to work on!

A leg of lamb is roasting in the oven (my favourite meat but DH is not so keen).. with Yorkshires, cauliflower cheese and other veg, with jam roly poly to follow. Yummy!

OP posts:

Creambun2 · 29/10/2017 16:47

Are you more middle class than dh/his parents?

Flip

1 2 3

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.