VEGETARIANS

[DaisyRaine90]

I understand people who REALLY don't eat meat, but people who sometimes do but then make you cater for them?

Should I pander to it or just say "I saw you eat a bacon sandwich last week so if you don't want to eat meat bring your own main"

[buckeejit]

It sounds as if you have high standards. I'd be delighted if I arrived for dinner and got a decent risotto. In fact, I'd just make a veggie risotto for everyone and if you're desperate, pan fry some chicken or prawns for the desperate for meat folk.

YABU for putting vegetarians in CAPITALS!!

[Armi]

Folk are right picky these days. When I was younger, a good 20 years ago, and spending a lot of time on a North London dinner party circuit, you ate what you were given (or pushed it around a bit and had toast when you got home). Unless you had actual allergies or were a genuine 100% vegetarian, you didn’t call ahead with requests. I have started entertaining again recently and it seems people now think they should ring ahead with a list of requirements which are mostly affectation or could be accommodated by a little bit of polite picking and gracious refusal of seconds - it is only one meal, after all, and if you have to eat around a few mushrooms because they give you the shits then it’s not the end of the world. Hosts should be polite enough not to comment on unfinished dinners and guests should be polite enough to realise they are getting a free dinner and their host is not running a restaurant. It is most impolite, in my view, to saddle the host with having to cook a number of different meals, considering the cost in time and money, when really you could just move the avocado slices to the edge of your plate.

And whilst I’m here - you people who turn up without wine but then drink every drop of alcohol in the house are the worst kind of dinner guests. You’ll be first up against the wall, come the revolution.

[PickAChew]

A flexitarian is someone who will happily eat veggie or vegan food without acting like they'll die of malnutrition, as a result.

I'm less flexitarian than I used to be since perimenopause - have had some stonking migraines after eating cheese. Makes eating out a bit harder. I tend to stick to pret or M&S for sarnies, now, unless there's a wonderful indie high welfare option in the town as they do at least tend to hit somewhere higher than rock bottom on the animal welfare stakes and pret has lots of lovely vegan and veggie options that don't involve cheese, anyhow.

[Bubblysqueak]

It depends why. I am almost veggie due to medical reasons (GERD reflux) but once evweu couple of weeks I will have something with meat usually fish from the chip shop when we can't be bothered to cook . It would be nice to be offered veggie by friends but I also wouldn't complain if they served me meat, inwouls just make sure to take medication with me.

Buy if they are just doing it on a whim I'm not surprised you're annoyed.

[PumpkinSquash]

One of the guys in the kitchen insisted that as he was a vegetarian, we needed to somehow find room for another tray of roast potatoes because the main lot were being cooked in goose fat. Fine, no problem. He then ate the pigs in blankets...

I really hope you said something!

[CamelliaSinensis35]

Genuine question, why aren't you 'vegetarians' who can't bear to offend a host who is thoughtless enough to cook your food with/in meat, assertive and confident enough to just calmly say I can't eat that bit of my meal? I'm sure no one at the table will self combust in mortification, and presumably you can still eat the other bits of the meal? If you're close enough to eat dinner at someone's house, surely you're able to let them know your dietry preferences?

[TheWhyteRoseShallRiseAgain]

Camellia can't answer for anyone else but I have been invited to an impromptu roast after becoming veggie and simply took the veg and spuds and said "sorry I can't take the chicken any more"Nobody was one bit worried and I got extra mash

[CamelliaSinensis35]

Well exactly WhyteRose . It's no big deal to most. Having been in a similar situation I enjoyed the bonus of extra parsnips. No one was offended.

[Pearlsaringer]

A vegetarian doesn’t eat meat or fish. Ever. It’s an absolute term, like pregnant, or dead. Nothing wrong with periodic abstinence from meat but it doesn’t make you vegetarian. It makes you vegecurious.

[nokidshere]

Why would you invite someone to dinner without asking for food preferences? Why does it matter who eats what or what they call themselves?

I invite my friends, I ask if there is anything they don't want, then I cook accordingly.

It's really not hard.

[WildBluebelles]

I very very rarely eat meat and have been eating entirely vegetarian for the past few months. When I do eat meat, I will only eat local and organic meat. If I went to someone's house, I would assume that they had bought non-organic meat and I would not want to eat it. That is just as legitimate as you catering for someone on slimming world. There's a world of difference between eating organic beef farmed and slaughtered locally and eating a bacon sarnie from a greasy spoon.

[Tiddlywinks63]

Crikey! Why invite people for a meal if it's such a big deal?
I always ask about food preferences as a matter of fact and it's never been an issue.
DD is vegetarian, DS and DDIL are vegan, SIL doesn't eat beef..... It's just a case of being aware and cooking accordingly so I usually do two main dishes. No problem.

[Stilllivinginazoo]

My dd2 is veggie.has been now for 5years.she gets really annoyed when people ask why doesnt eat fish
If it had a face i dont eat it usually wins the dispute(works with teens apparently) she only eats veggie sweets in case anyone is interested
She volunteers in our community cafe and a lady declares herself veggie.then eats the fish if theres any.this leads to sraff asking dd2 why she doesnt and with full grown adults they cant see why she refuses.so i can totally get why people are getting frustrated
When she first went veggie(at 8) she learned to make omelette and wgen visiting new friends who freak at non meat eater she knows the classics-i eats jacket potato/beans on toast etc or i can whip up an omelette if you had planned a meat based meal.she has a few times made her own tea at friends houses and their parents over time became accustomed to what she eats and accomodate her now
Be clear with facts people!!

[claraschu]

Camellia If you have travelled to very different cultures from this one, and been welcomed into the houses of strangers who are honouring you, you will understand that it can be completely incomprehensible to them (and very hurtful) if you reject certain luxury foods.

Simultaneous reluctantly ate meat a couple of times under these sorts of circumstances.

I have been vegetarian for 45 years, and have no trouble saying "vegetarian- no meat or fish, nothing with a face, etc". These days, in Western Europe and North America, most people understand that. It used to be much harder, and when I was travelling restaurants would serve sauce with ground meat and things like that, thinking I just didn't want a big steak.

[SmiledWithTheRisingSun]

If you invite people round for food, surely it's nice to cook them something they would like to eat.
Just do a roast & get some cauldron veggie sausages. It's not hard.

[SuperSharpShooter]

I met soooo many Faux-getarians this summer (worked festivals )
Drove me bloody nuts. People who claim to be veggie by the fact they never buy meat ie. not contributing financially to the meat industry. Then asking if they could eat my leftovers. I mean, wtf is that all about. Im not one to waste food but I have to admit Ithrew food away just to make a point to these people. Cheeky feckers!
I will happily cater for food preferences/intolerances its really not that hard. But recently a veggie friend who I have cooked for for years scoffed down bowl after bowl of french onion soup with beef stock, because 'its was just so tasty' No shit! Defo the last time i've made soup without meat stock especially for him.

[speakout]

Yes drives me nuts.

I had a family member come to stay from abroad for two months.

He was vegan. I bent over backwards cooking vegan meals ( I was cooking every day for 8 family members).
Took him to a cafe where he ordered the biggest Knicker Bocker Glory Ice cream, with heaps of whipped cream, loads of full dairy ice cream, he scoffed the lot.

So fucking annoyed as I had been spending weeks checking labels of everything to make sure I didn't serve the slightest trace of dairy or meat.

[lljkk]

One time, in the 17 yrs when I called myself vegetarian (long before words like pescatarian had been invented), someone fussed at me to beware of English bread with unlabeled lard in it. I couldn't understand being that fussy that you would only eat the bread if you knew for sure it was lard-free. I mean, I tried to choose bread that was lard-free, but I didn't make a big fuss about it if ingredients hard to find. We had discussions in my social circle about whether to worry if the cheese had unstated rennet or the wine had fish traces. The consensus was that it was a personal preference, but nobody got YELLED at for calling themselves vegetarian even though they might drink the fish-content wine. Vegetarian wasn't an exclusive term that meant you had to follow strict rules to be part of the club. It was more like a set of principles to aim at, and accept you'll never get it perfect, too.

So not like pregnancy or dead but more like religion, I suppose. You can call yourself Christian and follow different principles from other people calling themselves Christians. Literally, a broad church. That's the kind of tolerant vegetarian identity I could embrace.

A big reason I stopped trying to eat vegetarian was some people assuming that I was also an animal rightist. I hated anyone thinking I supported those nut jobs.

[alletik]

Totally agree Llijk. I think it’s not an absolute term, but one where there are many shades of grey.

Over the years, I know people who think you shouldn’t be considered vegetarian if you don’t eat meat but you do wear leather. I’ve known veggies who won’t eat a veggie burger on a BBQ in case it is cooked on a part which had residues of meat juices on them.

Some worry about rennet in cheeses (less of an issue these days) others not so much, same with cochineal. The list is endless, and most veggies have their own way of interpreting these different rules...

[claraschu]

Lljkk what happened to the broad church? Animal rightist="nut-job*, and you eat meat in order not to be associated with them?

Who are you talking about? People who prefer not to support the factory farmed meat industry? People who write petitions to stop the live skinning of baby seals for fur coats? People who protest the torturing of dogs for China's dog meat festival to make the meat tastier? People who have helped to outlaw horse soring (though it still goes on)?

[lljkk]

I didn't want to be confused with people who threw themselves under lorries to stop exports of live calves. Who made biomed scientists check under their cars for bombs. Who (like Chrissy Hynde) say they can never respect people who eat meat and would find it offensive to be in the company of someone eating meat. Who are members of PETA.

I was quite shocked when sometimes people said that because I was vegetarian, they assumed some of those things must be true about me.

Yup, I'm pretty easily alienated MN reminds me all the time how little I have in common with other people, you'd think I was used to it by now.

[claraschu]

Many many people are vegetarians, for all sorts of reasons. It is hardly a radical statement these days. Lots of vegetarians have concerns about the mistreatment of animals and of the planet; very few are radical extremists. If you are so influenced by friends who are badly informed enough to think that all vegetarians are causing tragic traffic accidents, I don't think you are really leading a considered life in this regard.

[JaneEyre70]

People who eat meat occasionally are NOT vegetarian and I'd cater accordingly. And I would give them short shrift for their comments if they made one. That isn't a dietary preference, it's called being a pain in the arse.

[sadeyedladyofthelowlands63]

I think it’s not an absolute term, but one where there are many shades of grey.

Sorry, but No! It is an absolute term! Words mean things. You are vegetarian or you're not. Nobody cares if you're not, but don't make life difficult for the rest of us!