I live with this every day. 13 years ago at my 20 week scan I was told there was an echo on the baby's heart but that there was nothing to worry about. I had a three year old boy at the time and this was a much wanted second child. My gp suggested going for a private scan at the fetal medical centre to get a better understanding of what was happening. I was told that the baby, a boy, had transposition of the great arteries. In the womb he would be fine because he was receiving all the oxygen he needed from the umbilical chord but when he was born he would need key hole surgery followed by open heart surgery followed by regular further operation(s) on his heart to deal with scar tissue etc. He had a 59% chance of living to age 16. There was no guarantee of the quality of life he would have assuming he lived to 16 and beyond.
At 24 weeks (it took almost four weeks to get the appointment for the private scan and i needed a few days to make the decision) on Mothers Day, as it happened, I was taken for a final scan where they injected the baby's heart to stop it then induced me so that I gave birth.
The baby was tiny but perfectly formed to look at. We gave him a name and dressed him and ultimately we buried him.
My son who was three at the time vaguely remembers the little brother he lost. One of the biggest factors in making the decision was that I couldn't bear for my existing son to lose his brother. WIBU
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Termination of pregnancy at 24 weeks due to heart defect
Lifehasitsproblems · 14/10/2017 22:55
laminatefloor not a very helpful post is it? I am assuming you have no specialist medical training and were not present at the consultations etc so perhaps you should keep your opinions to yourself.
OP: the decision you made was made with love and because you cared so it was not and cannot have been the wrong decision. Look after yourself and do not beat yourself up 
@Petmalex my baby was diagnosed with left heart hypoplastic syndrome 15 years ago at 20 weeks. No chromosomal abnormality. We made the same decision as you having been left in no doubt by the consultants we saw that his chances of normal life were vanishingly slim, if he survived at all.
My thoughts are with you - you will get through it tomorrow.
I'm so sorry for your loss OP, it is a devastatingly hard decision to have to make, and one for which no body is prepared. I had a similar decision many years ago, and I had made my decision, but then the baby died inside me so my decision became irrelevant. I still think about it over thirty years later.
Have you ever been offered the chance to talk about what happened with a counsellor? That can be helpful sometimes, there's a very deep need to mourn and honour the baby who is gone and sometimes we don't get that opportunity, life moves on and it feels as if our precious baby has been forgotten by everyone except ourselves.
I went for counselling for an entirely different matter some years after my loss and ended up talking about my lost baby - so many things seemed to come back to that sadness. It doesn't change what happened but sometimes it can help to voice your pain and have it acknowledged by someone on the outside.
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Hugs to everyone having to go through such cruel situations.
laminate your post is very insensitive even if you didn’t mean it to be, and you should really ask for it to be withdrawn.
DuchyDuke what a truly horrible thing to say about anyone who has lost their baby, never mind a "close friend." Too selfish to terminate? How dare you.
OP, a decision made out of love isn't one that you should live with guilt over. You wanted the best for both of your children and were faced with an impossible situation that forced you to take one action or the other, without knowing what future lay on the other side of either choice. You can't blame yourself for that, it was not your fault. You did your best for both your children, and acted out of love for them both, paying the price yourself in grief and pain so that they didn't have to. The act of a loving mother.
Petmalex I'm thinking of you today. Sending love and strength 
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