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AIBU?

To not let potential new neighbour view my house?

71 replies

Wisterical · 12/10/2017 14:42

I live in a block of four housing association flats. Yesterday three people I didn't know were in the shared back garden, chatting to each other. After about 10 minutes I went out and said hi, err who are you? One of them (Doreen) said she had just been offered the tenancy of the flat next door and the other two where her friends who live locally. Doreen said she didn't know when she'd be moving in as current tenant hasn't moved out yet. So we had a short, friendly chat and eventually they left.

Today Doreen's friend knocked on my door and asked if Doreen could come and have a look around my flat, to get an idea of the layout and size (it will be mirror image of her flat).

I said perhaps they could talk to the HA about a viewing or she could ask current tenant to let her look around - but they don't want to do that because they don't know her. They don't know me either!

AIBU to say not let her look around my flat? I get on well with all my neighbours but really value my privacy and only invite friends inside. Am I being too uptight and unhelpful? I've thought about drawing her a nice diagram, with room measurements, but suspect that's a bit ridiculous of me.

OP posts:

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Aquamarine1029 · 13/10/2017 16:29

Not a chance. Unless it's a repairman that I have hired, (which is very rare because my husband and I can fix almost anything), I would never let strangers into my home. I am very protective of my personal space and if anyone doesn't like it, too damn bad. They can let strangers in their home.

TheKidsAreTakingMySanity · 13/10/2017 16:16

After a so called lovely polite young woman walked round my dear old grandma's house to see what the properties are like "for her grandma" I learned that I would never allow a stranger in my home. This young lady pocketed expensive watches, jewellery and cash on her way round. Gran didn't even see her do it. Thankfully Gran got her stuff back as she tried it again in the same area (same day) and was caught by the police who knew her.
Don't trust strangers in your home.

Wisterical · 13/10/2017 15:59

Whichever PP suggested Doreen could be the 1st of 50 traipsing through my garden and flat might have had a point, I can foresee me spending the next couple of weeks hollering Get Off My Land at nosy strangers!

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paxillin · 13/10/2017 15:53

I suppose she is. You better let her in to look around. Let her be thorough, she could sleep in your bed for a night to see if she likes it.

Wisterical · 13/10/2017 15:48

But isn't she my best friend?

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paxillin · 13/10/2017 15:42

Don't put Doreen on the short list!

Wisterical · 13/10/2017 15:29

feeling quite naive now.

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BenLui · 13/10/2017 15:26

I’m really quite surprised that anyone would allow a group of strangers into their home just because they were friendly and had a real sounding story!

You might as well put out a sign saying “confidence tricksters welcome here”.

They could be anyone.

Wisterical · 13/10/2017 15:20

Ha! Got a letter from HA today saying flat in my scheme is available to rent and current residents are all being contacted to ask if we would like to put forward anyone who we know is interested, before they shortlist. Called 'recommend a friend' scheme apparently.

So Doreen definitely premature and a CF to boot!

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Wisterical · 13/10/2017 11:52

emmyrose thanks, yes that's what I'm thinking!

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emmyrose2000 · 13/10/2017 11:39

YANBU

I wouldn't want to have anything to do with a stranger who thinks this is even remotely okay.

At best, this type of person is a rude chancer without even the bare basics of politeness or boundaries; and at worst, a con artist/thief casing your house.

Then in just a five minute chat the new tenant told me loads of personal stuff, over-sharing health problems etc and when her friend knocked today she told me how difficult tenants life had been recently
Definite red flags here! If you let this (sort of) person into your life, you'll never get rid of them. Best to set boundaries now and enforce them like steel if/when she moves in.

Bluelonerose · 12/10/2017 21:02

I think it must be the new thing to do. I've been on a homeswap site and had someone ask me questions about another house in my street

Wisterical · 12/10/2017 20:56

well, when you put it like that...

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chipscheeseandgravy · 12/10/2017 20:47

This is how I read your post:

Couple of random people were stood in my garden (shared with neighbouring flats). Chatted for a few mins. Next day one of them asks to look in my house, because they may move next door....

No op, your not being rude, unhelpful or unreasonable. No one in there right mind would let some ransoms in of the Street so they can have a nosy.

Wisterical · 12/10/2017 17:24

migraleve I might do if they keep it up but it's a balance between not feeling hassled and keeping good relations with the neighbours.

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Migraleve · 12/10/2017 17:21

I would absolutely be reporting these CF's to the HA. I am amazed that anyone thinks it's acceptable to ask to look round someone house!

Wisterical · 12/10/2017 17:16

Thanks crystal, in fact thank you everyone. I was totally expecting to be told I was being unreasonable, it's been really nice to have my instinct, or need to have this boundary or whatever, confirmed. I get that some people would invite Doreen and her friends in but we've all got different personalities. I will be a nice neighbour to whoever moves in, everyone gets on pretty well around here, but doors (and gates) are there for a reason!

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paxillin · 12/10/2017 17:04

No, YANBU, she is at present a stranger. As you pointed out they can ask the current tenant who they don't know from Adam. Your acquaintance is no closer than that. It is also good to make clear she won't be sitting on your sofa on day 1 should she move in.

You'd have the number 1-25 of the waiting list trouping through your bedroom if you are unlucky.

Feelslikecrystal · 12/10/2017 17:02

As a housing officer, I'd be quite cross that this had happened. Obviously no harm done but overstepping the mark somewhat. Yes, start as you mean to go on & I certainly woukd not worry at all about saying no.

Giraffey1 · 12/10/2017 16:59

This is no different to me turning up at someone's home (someone I don't know) and saying ... I'm thinking of buying a house like this just down the road, can I come in and look at yours?

So no, YANBU, i'd be politely declining.

Hidingtonothing · 12/10/2017 16:53

I'd be looking at upping the security on that gate too, not good if any old Doreen can just stroll in

Nocabbageinmyeye · 12/10/2017 16:49

Doreens friend called because they know they are being cheeky fuckers so Doreen didn't want to do it herself, getting her friend to do it means Doreen can deny all knowledge and the friend won't have to live beside you so can brazen it out. Tell Doreen to do one

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ReanimatedSGB · 12/10/2017 16:45

I might even be inclined to ring the HA and tell them this. Just in case these people are not prospective new tenants at all (the fact that they were in the private garden is dodgy).

AcrossthePond55 · 12/10/2017 16:38

I can't imagine knocking on a prospective neighbour's house and asking for a 'look-see'.

Surely the HA has blueprints or pictures of a similar flat for prospective tenants to view?

Hidingtonothing · 12/10/2017 16:31

Ah, cross post, makes sense. Doreen is still a CF though

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